Sleep problems at 12 weeks

[Divejaney]

My DS is 12 weeks old and at the moment every night feels like a battle. He has been getting worse and worse at settling to sleep at night and has never managed to stay asleep for longer than 4 hours (mostly 2.5-3 hours).
We have been trying a routine for the last month or so - bath at 6pm, then baby massage, feed and then sleep. He is always very unsettled on the feed, coming on and off the breast often quite violently and crying. I'm wondering whether I am producing enough milk? Eventually he won't feed any more but by this time he is often quite cross. We get him nice and sleepy but as soon as he gets into bed he starts to get really unsettled and cries. Recently crying goes on for up to 1 hour and he really screams! Finally he wears himself out and we can get him to settle. He then sleeps until 10.30ish when we do a dream feed. After that he wakes anywhere from 1.30am - 3.30am and then again from 5am - 6am. Am feeling really exhausted and starting to dread bedtimes. Any tips or advice would be very welcome. Am prepared to try formula in the evening but would prefer not to.
Sorry for the very long post!

aww, you have my sympathies because I know how tough sleep deprivation is!
however, at 12 weeks old your ds is doing just fine. his sleep pattern is absolutely normal. at 12 weeks old my ds2 was still waking at least hourly!! lol
babies can be unsettled in the evening and want feeding a lot, and I am absolutely sure you are producing enough milk. if you weren;'t then there would be other signs (ie, he'd prob be fussy ALL the time at the breast, and he wouldn't be gaining weight too well)

it sounds like he could be getting overtired. have you tried feeding him lying down in bed? once he is asleep then just lie next to him for 10 mins or so to ensure he is in a really deep sleep before getting up, otherwise you'll disturb him. a t-shirt or something you've been wearing might help comfort him too, as he'll be able to smell you

Divejaney you are exactly where I am, as I type one handed while jiggling 12 wk old DD who is wide awake and alternating between screaming & feeding (with a bit of staring at the TV). I've bought all the books (even GF) and read cover to cover to realise that the sleep pattern you describe is perfectly normal and that more than 4 hours at this age is a rarity. Those friends with good sleeping LOs are either lying or have made a deal with Lucifer for an easy life. Apparently the phrase is 'this too shall pass'.

sounds completely normal to me. No advice, but sure it will get better soon

Oh, please don't try formula in the evening, certainly not just because you think it will help him sleep longer. It won't. He's still very little and just getting used to everything, and sounds completely normal. When you think about it, its a strange thing to expect (society, not you personally ) - to settle down in a basket all alone and go to sleep, when four months ago he was inside you.
Sorry, that was more of a lecture than advice... it will pass.

Thank you all. I'm already feeling better and reassured that we are normal and it will get better one day (hopefully......).
I think the other mums that I know must have abnormally easy babies who apparently slept through at 6 weeks or 9 weeks.

Lol Divejaney just realised who you are (thought the name rang a bell, bit slow tonight ) - see you Weds. Let hope we get some good advice on here (Leaf shutting up now).

Sounds a bit like my DS, except until this week, he was feeding every 2 hours, day and night. We've only just got to your luxurious setup now (he's 4 and a bit months). The only way I could cope and continue breastfeeding was cosleeping, which I know isn't for everyone, but I would have collapsed otherwise. Now he sleeps more like 3 to 3.5 hours at night in a stretch. I know that I have enough milk (it goes everywhere and he is growing at insane speed!) - he's just hungry and learning to get through the night without food is a skill like any other one they have to get the hang of. You could always try expressing and using a bottle to feed him at night so that you know how much he's getting if you're very keen (and feel like adding to your workload) but unless he's losing weight or has some other symptom, it seems unlikely you don't have enough milk. GF and her ilk seem determined to set mothers up for failure. 2-3 hour gaps between feeds is NORMAL.

My ds was doing the same on formula. I was esp frustrated because he had been going longer and then reverted. He is now only up once a night at 5.30am. I found that I had been feeding him too often in the day. When I pushed him a bit longer between feeds he took a lot more. Now if he cries I distract him and if he is really hungry not just bored he lets me know.

wonder if he is overtired. my 12 week old cries and fuses at this time but is happier if he gets a nap in the afternoon, good luck iit supposed to be getting easier for us around this age any time soon x

just wanted to say my 11 week old ds is exactly the same and everyone i know seems to have babies almost sleeping through too! I tried giving a big formula feed one night and he still woke exactly the same amount of times, totally understand and sympathise with the sleep deprivation.

He's too little to sleep for more than 4 hours! Most of the people who tell you their babies are sleeping through the night ate lying toads - ignore them and feed your baby whenever he wants!

His pattern sounds totally normal! Just make sure he is getting enough sleep during the day and yes, it will pass! by the way, did you know the technical definition of "sleeping through" only means 5 hours sleep between feeds? my HV told me that and i nearly fell over! I assumed sleeping through was judged to be 7/8 hours plus!

and if i remember correctly, most of the babies i knew hit a growth stage at about 12-13 weeks and this meant they were just really unsettled for a couple weeks. Apparently it is a mental growth spurt as well, they are starting to realise they are in the big world and not in mum now so get unsettled. Lots of cuddling/cosleeping helps reassure them that you are around.