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Original poster

What would you do about this behaviour?

34 replies

CharleeInChains · 16/11/2008 13:30

DS''s are 4 and 2.

They share a room.

They keep going into it and completley destroying it, i mean cabnets turned over, bookcase torn apart and all books thrown across the room, toys everywhere, to the point where they don't seem to be sleeping as well and i can't walk across it to get to DS2 when he wakes up in the night.

It's driving me insane! I spend at leadt 3 days a week completley gutting it out only for it to be trashed the day after or during the night.

I know they are only young, i don't expect anything huge ad i am happy to tidy it but not to the extent i am having to at the moment! Please don't flame me! I don't want them to be impeccibly neat and tidy!

What would you do?

I can either make them tidy it, continue to tidy it myself which as i explained is taking me hours and i am doing it so fequently or just leave it but thens truggle with thier sleeping and struggle to get across it to get to anyhting or to get to ds in the night.

Anyone have any suggestions?

OP posts:
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Anifrangapani · 16/11/2008 13:33

DD used to do that.... After the millionth time ( or so it seemed) I gave all her toys away.

She is now tidier ( although not excessively).

posieflump · 16/11/2008 13:33

they need to tidy it before lunch, before tea and before bed every day
They need to be told overtipping furntiture is not going to be tolerated
A 4 year old should know this is unacceptable
They need to look after their toys or they will get none for xmas
(sorry, I am harsh!!)

guyFAwkesreQuiem · 16/11/2008 13:34

Well I got round the problem of them trashing their room in the day by not letting them play in their until they were older.....

Not sure what to do about the nighttime trashing though.

Original poster
CharleeInChains · 16/11/2008 13:36

I have said this them (thought i was bieng to harsh!)

I will admit they have tom many toys, they tend to get spoilt, it's my fault and i have stopped it.

I am going to have a huge clear out before xmas and alot of thier pressies are bedding sets/towels ect.

It is mostly DS2 tbh (2 yr old) DS1 will tidy it if bribed.

It's just so infuriating that i spend my time that i could be using on a different part of the house to tody thir room then they just go an destroy it in minutes flat.

They don't play wiht any toys, theyt only go in thier room to sleep or if they are made to.

OP posts:
egypt · 16/11/2008 13:36

can you move everything out of their room? even just for a while, to shock them? well at least shock your 4yo. they wont much like sleeping in a boring empty room. except for bed of course, and don't allow access to the room with their stuff in. only tell them it is permanent.

Original poster
CharleeInChains · 16/11/2008 13:38

I wouls move everything out but we live in a tiny 2 bed flat. We already have a loft full of toys.

But like i say they don't play with any of thier toys they prefer to destroy the lunge by jumping all over the sofas ect.

OP posts:
guyFAwkesreQuiem · 16/11/2008 13:39

this is going to sound slightly odd -but definitely get rid of some of the toys. I've discovered that too many toys means that none actually get played with at all and they just spend their time causing mayhem.

Original poster
CharleeInChains · 16/11/2008 13:41

sigh i am going to have to clear there room out in a big way.

(Anyone after any toys? lol)

I have tried ebaying most of them but didn't even get watchers let alone buyers!

They are all pretty new and unused it seems such a shame to dump them all or just give them away.

OP posts:
guyFAwkesreQuiem · 16/11/2008 13:43

now could be a good time to get them on ebay - don't except to get too much for them - but with Christmas coming up you may well find more people are interested.

Try put some on in bundles too if you have any similar type/sets etc.

Original poster
CharleeInChains · 16/11/2008 13:44

I have just put put aload on there but they didn't get a thing. It was a big bulk lot of Little People sets, we brought a load new last xmas and they haven't been touched.

OP posts:
shootfromthehip · 16/11/2008 13:45

Box everything and duct tape them shut. Pile them all against one wall and threaten to remove/ bin them if they trash them. They can then earn one box at a time back. It also means thay will play with a limited amount and enjoy the newly revealed toys more. Screw all bookshelves to the wall (? ). Get a star chart for rewarding good behaviour and take the emphasis away from the crazy jumping about- get them out more to burn off some of the extra energy. It sounds like they are in control of you and are enjoying being really naughty. Time to nip it in the bud.

good luck

Original poster
CharleeInChains · 16/11/2008 13:47

God i know ineed to nip it in the bud.

I have know that for a long time.

I do punish bad behavious consistently with time out but it doesn't have any effect on them at all.

DS1 is better behaved but DS2 is a nightmare and when they are together its unbareable at times.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 16/11/2008 13:56

THey proved that when dc have too many toys they can't cope & actually play with any of it. I think a choice of 15 things was the max?

Original poster
CharleeInChains · 16/11/2008 13:58

15 things! Crikey i have got alot of sorting to do then!

OP posts:
MatNanPlus · 16/11/2008 14:00

Could you put them on top of wardrobes or cupboards, so out of sight and destruction?

Original poster
CharleeInChains · 16/11/2008 14:01

the cupboards and wardrobes are heaving already.

(Sorry i sound horrible - im not!)

OP posts:
MatNanPlus · 16/11/2008 14:01

Have you thought about the local childrens ward playroom for the newer toys / doctors surgery / local playgroups / toy libraries?

CarGirl · 16/11/2008 14:06

Get rid of the dc for a day & then gut, 2 piles - one to keep & rotate in future & 1 to get rid off. List in bundles on ebay as suggested.

Be ruthless as they will get more very soon for Christmas!

Ripeberry · 16/11/2008 14:09

Sorry, but its your house you need to lay down the law straight away!
If you catch them in the act of destroying then you need to really give them a bawling, produce several black bags and without a word start putting all the toys, games whatever is on the floor into the bags.
Of course they will ask what you are doing.
Just say that you are throwing them away as they don't seem to appreciate them and you may give them to someone that will.
DO NOT tidy up after them, leave the bedroom totally bare if you have to and if they behave they can have "some" of their toys back.#
This kind of behaviour must NEVER be tolerated as they will end up with no respect for anything or anyone.
Friends down the road, used to let their kids run riot in the house and by the time they were teenagers there was no wallpaper left on the walls and every door had holes in them!
You are their mother and the boss...teach it to them.

Ripeberry · 16/11/2008 14:13

Why not go to a car boot sale? Should get some interest, or even donate them to your local pre-school?
And please do not buy them too much at xmas.
Maybe save the money for a holiday or for special trips. Don't waste any more of your money on "toys" as they get too much after a while.

fartmeistergeneral · 16/11/2008 14:23

You do need to lay the ground rules to them, but I do remember my ds (10) doing this with his friends when he was that age. They would go into his playroom, get all the boxes and tip everything into a big pile in the middle of the room. They do grow out of it!

BoffinMum · 16/11/2008 14:30

I am an educationalist so I have my professional hat on now. They are still very young but I think you can win this one.

Definitely do what the other posters say, and give away most of the toys to a better home. Kids today accumulate far too many toys, especially plastic rubbish. Box the rest up and then let them earn them back through good behaviour. Star charts would work well, I think.

Also give their room a little bit of a makeover/sortout and think through how to create a calmer atmosphere they can actually play collaboratively in. Use the White Company website as your inspiration!

Dominating the living room should also not be an option for them - this is family/adult space, not a playground. Take them to the park if they are hyper, even if it's raining.

This should get them under the thumb a bit! You are in charge, not them, and they need to remember that.

shootfromthehip · 16/11/2008 14:32

Boffinmum- I concur!

BoffinMum · 16/11/2008 14:37

Cheers, shoot.

I would also say that boys are quite physical and often will get up to this sort of thing given half a chance.

I have also consulted just now with my resident 10 year old ds, and he agrees, take them out more!!

Out of the mouths of babes ....

Belgianchox · 16/11/2008 14:45

you shouldn't be standing for this kind of behaviour, 4 and 2 is plenty old enough ti understand it's not acceptable to demolish furniture. Mine are 3 and 2, and I had one bout of this recently, i made it quite clear that that would be the first and last time - my two yr old managed to break his cot bed somehow. Punish them separately if there's a repeat performance, let them cry for as long as necessary to understand. Their behaviour has gotten out of hand, your punishments will have to get more severe to get back in control. Sorry to be harsh.....