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Controlled crying this weekend, anyone?

12 replies

Suslik · 14/11/2008 22:44

Hi,
just wondering if anyone out there is doing cc tonight. it just feels so bad. i never wanted to do it and have been resisting all this time. i thought me and my baby will be different and will not need it.
guess i was wrong. alex was waking up twice a night for a feed, then started waking 6-7 times recently.
she is teething too, so i feel double bad...

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marlasinger · 14/11/2008 22:45

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Suslik · 14/11/2008 22:46

8 months

OP posts:
bookswapper · 14/11/2008 22:48

me too but 7 months

dont know what to do

marlasinger · 14/11/2008 22:49

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bookswapper · 14/11/2008 22:54

what is the no cry sleep solution?

marlasinger · 14/11/2008 22:58

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Suslik · 14/11/2008 23:00

i dont know. if i were not going back to work i would definitely not be doing it. but working and waking up 6 times a night sounds like a nightmare. right now i can lie in with her during the day but i will not be able to when i am at work.
seeing her crying hysterically in her cot is awful. just listening from another room is not too bad

i wonder if babies hate their cot after cc?

i read the no cry sleep solution. i think for me trying to do that or gradual retreat basically equates to crying (maybe not as dramatic as this CC cry). i tried to pull the breast away every few minutes (like that gentle removal plan) and she just gets all confused and irritated... same with trying to put her to sleep with less intervention - if am sitting there not doing what she expects she starts crying until i do what she expects - rub, dummy, talk, take her up in my arms etc.

OP posts:
Suslik · 14/11/2008 23:03

if you do read the NO CRY book i recommend forgetting the author's description of how your baby feels when she/he cries if you resort to CC at the end... i sadly have that descripton in my memory and it makes things worse.

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Habbibu · 14/11/2008 23:03

Gradual retreat takes quite a long time with some babies, but it doesn't necessarily equate to crying - tiny tiny incremental changes - once you're happy they've settled with one phase, you make a tiny change, and make sure that's accepted, etc. Took about 3-4 weeks with dd aged about 9 months, but we did see progress throughout, and it was a gentle process for all concerned.

Suslik · 14/11/2008 23:07

Habbibu,
can i ask what was your starting point and what you achieved in those 3-4 weeks?

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Habbibu · 14/11/2008 23:17

Um - Lord - it feels like an age ago... She stopped feeding to sleep of her own accord, which I was NOT best pleased with. She'd never been put down awake and didn't have a clue, god love her.

So - we started off holding her in a rocking chair next to her bed, and rocking her to sleep, talking about going to bed. Then we'd rock her until she was almost asleep, lower her into (pre-warmed!) bed, pat, rub, sshh for a good while until we were certain she was deeply asleep. After a few days of this we'd put her down when she was more awake - cosy and relaxed, but aware, iyswim? - pat, shh, rub, etc.

Few days later it was cuddle, into bed, and pat/shh to deep sleep - then just still hand resting to deep sleep, plus shh - then sitting next to cot and shh - then sitting across room and shh, then outside room and shh. Each of these steps took a few days - the earlier steps took longer than the later ones - it all seemed to get quicker towards the end.

We had a setback at about 18 mo - she screamed when put into bed, so we bribed her with stories, and reduced this in a similar way. The only remnant is our reciting "The Going to Bed Book" by Sandra Boynton - we know it off by heart, and it's a bedtime ritual. She likes to listen to music when dropping off - she can do without, but we don't have a problem with it - I like to read and listen to the radio, so don't see why she shouldn't have something.

Top tips - make sure you are warm and comfortable - tea/wine to hand is good, and a radio/music player with earphones keeps you sane. I read books with a booklight when sitting next to the cot - stops that feeling of "I'm stuck here please go to sleep NOW", and makes it a relaxing time to just rest yourself.

Habbibu · 14/11/2008 23:19

And she was hell, btw - up for 3 hours straight about 5 nights out of 7, plus one or two other wakings, and could scream herself sick if left. You would not recognise it now!

Other thing I wanted to say - we talked to her a lot, even when quite young, about what was going to happen - their understanding comes way before speech, and it's a good habit to get into. dd loves knowing what's going to happen, and is much more biddable if well-briefed, and this was true even at 9 months-ish.

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