Why is it!!! that every older mother that has looked into my pushchair of late has said - 'You think you've got trouble now - you wait till they get older' What is so horrible when they get older?

[sunshine17]

I'm not joking, I've got a 22month old and a 18week old.

The other day we were having a walk in the woods - whilst I was trying to get DD2 off to sleep in the pushchair, when 3 older ladies powerwalked up to me (one of them accidently kicking the pushchair in the process and walking up DD2 after I'd spend ages on the move trying to get her off) - saying. Ahh how lovely, but you just wait! you think you've got problems now with them not sleeping.

This has happened often, comments along the lines of - enjoy them now while you can. Why is this? can anyone with enlighten me. I actually find it really depressing to think that there are so many people out there determined to let you know that it's not very enjoyable as they get older.

Tell me they are wrong???

Ach, it's probably just the nostalgic rose-tinted spectacles thing. They've forgotten the incessant noise, tantrumming and the trials of mastering the Dark Art of sleep routines. My DCs are only a little bit older (3.10 and 2.3) but I can officially say that they are more enjoyable now than they were at your stage.

Rubbish. They get more fun as they get older and you can have a good conversation with them and go out without needing your own entourage for all their bits and pieces.

They are wrong in my experience. I've enjoyed being a mum so much more the older my children have got. My eldest is nearly 3 and my youngest 16 months. I can't wait until my youngest is older.

But then I didn't really enjoy the baby days. Much prefer toddlers and pre-schoolers.

That's bollocks - the first ten months were really hard for me. I can do tantrums but non-communicative screaming 24X7 - well if I wanted that I'd go back to work!

I'm looking forward to the little buggers being a bit more independent and going to school too!

Mind you, they probably weren't older, perhaps they just had really challenging four year olds and were quite tired looking.

IMO they get gradually easier from the age yours are onwards, at least til now (8,7 and 4). It's FAR easier now than when I had 2 under 3, or 3 under 5.

For me it;s hardly comparable. They still have their moments, and I'm usually tireder at the end of the weekend than the beginning, but it's just got systematically easier all along from baby stage til now.

I would if I actually thought they were, but experience has taught me otherwise!

I remember feeling very when mine were the age that yours are now, and I too had well meaning older women telling me to appreciate them now as when they are teens I will find it so much harder.....

I really thought that they had forgotten what it is like, and maybe they were losing their marbles.

and now I am here.......and I can honestly say that I would pay millions to go back to toddlers again.

Toddlers are hard physically, and are full-on and loud and there is no respite unless they are asleep, but you get to control pretty much all of their day, and make their choices for them (for the most part).

teens on the other hand..........easy in a physical sense as they dress themselves and look after their hygiene needs, but mentally.....forget it. they are right (all the time according to them), they never let up the hormonal ranting, they squabble and fight and you cannot just pick them up and put them in another room.......in short, unless they are at school there is no escape.

oh, they do go out, but then you fret about where they are, who they are with, what they are doing, when they will be home, how they will get home.....etc etc.

seriously.......teens are like overgrown toddlers with the ability to argue and strop on a far greater and louder scale, and you CANNOT win......EVER

in comparison, toddlers are easy (well, excpet for the houdini toddlers like my DS2.

actually, there is one thing that is easier when they are older......shopping

I think people like to feel superior in a "I know what you don't know" kind of way. It started when I was pg. People saying things like "enjoy going out while you still can!" It's carried on since then and nothing's as bad as people make out.

Oh go on then. How much older do you think they meant? toddlers,teens?

Take no notice of them. We can't know what our children will be like when they get older.
Enjoy your babies now and meet any problems later as and if they happen.

IME.......ages 4-10 are the easy years, the ones you enjoy, and the years you get the best part of parenting.

oh, 18mths is cute too. Even the tantrums at that age are comical (or maybe I was strange as only I seemed to find them comical amongst my friends).

juule - they were probably much older and they were thinking of their middle-aged sons who ran off with the nanny or changed sex to become a lap dancer. Or their middle-aged DDs who ran off to Goa with their yoga teacher. Or the stay-at-home one who nag about their inheritance.

Ahhh - you lot have really cheered me up

@ Ormirian.

Lol Irian! It gets easier in my opinion, so so so much easier. The first year is pretty bloody awful but even all my friends say that they much prefer having a 3, 4 or 5 year old to a baby/ toddler. They have probably just forgotten how awful babies actually are and just remember the cute things! My Nanna is like that, she reckons her babies were soooo perfect and how wonderful it all was.... really??? I didn't find that at all!

Maybe the teen years are bad, I haven't got there yet. Though I have friends who love parenting teens.

But I vividly recall having two of the OP's age and it was very hard work. While enjoyable in some ways.

I often look after 5,6 or 7 children at once and it always seems that one toddler is the effort of the other 4 or 5 slightly older children. The toddler's the one you have to watch.

They are wrong!

When they get past the age of 5 or 5, it all becomes a bloody sight easier IME.

Teens can be tricky but....so can old age! Not ALL teens are tricky, just like not all older people are old bats!

4 or 5 - that should have said!

sunshine- they are wrong wrong wrong. at least until the teen stage i reckon - i bow to others' superior knowledge (and quake in fear). but mine are 7 and 5 and AT LAST it's all getting easier and SO MUCH MORE FUN! they just about broke my spirit during the toddler years but we're getting somewhere now and it's great. er, punctuated by crises still, but largely great - and certainly, NO CONTEST, much better than it used to be

Oh yes I agree 4-10 are the best years ever.

I have a 2year old dd and 15 year old ds...am currently caught between a rock and a hard place, although their behaviour is pretty similar.

I loved 4-10. I seem to remember 6 as the bestest age of all!

Oh, sunshine, this really bugs me too, this kind of attitude. FOr me, being a parent has got easier. I hated the baby stage. Ds is 2.3 now and ace, though at times challenging.
I take every opportunity I have to tell new parents that it gets much easier with time.

Because they grow up and turn 7 and their favourite dinner is pasta with grated cheese and you make it and they ask for more cheese and you give more cheese and they say 'I love you' and you go all squishy inside and then they say 'I wasn't talking to you I was talking to the cheese'! True story. Dinner chez Buda yesterday. Sigh.

But then he cuddles up to me in bed and it is all OK again. Little sod!

what I didn't realise then was how quickly the time would pass...I remember feeling it was never ending, but in fact it went by in a flash...maybe what they meant was, don't wish the time away, try and enjoy it because it won't come round again.

I still stand by what I said earlier.

I will say tho........it does get easier, and then you hit toddlers again the teenage years......and you feel as tho it is hell on earth.

tonight however, I LOVE my teens.......they are being lovely

lol...honest...it's just an expression...I suppoise they mean either both being tantruming toddlers or once they hit teenagehood together...
fwiw....I have 21m. between my younger 2 and now they are 4 and 6 it has gotten so much easier than it had been...

psychomum5 I agree with your post. I was told that as your children get bigger so do the problems and I think this is what these women mean.

Parenting is, at every stage, often an experience of extremes from extreme joy and contentment to extreme worry and stress.

If you have had the normal stresses of wee ones like no sleep, fussy eating etc etc, I do believe this pales into comparison with teenage stresses like wanting to stay out all night, hang out with dubious people, drinking mand drugs etc.

That doesn't mean you stop enjoying your children just the obstacles you encounter can get more tricky.

But I guess it depends on each individual's situation.

Not sure I am making much sense, hard to on total sleep deprivation.

one huge bit of advice tho.

don;t blink.........you miss so much.

I feel as tho I have blinked once and DD1 went from newborn to 7, blinked again and she is 14!