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How much dressing can your 5yo DS manage?

12 replies

wangle99 · 13/11/2008 08:16

DS was five in October and is hopeless at dressing himself. He occasionally can manage a t-shirt but usually more often than not he ends up with it all caught up and him having a screaming fit that he can't do it.

we had his first parents evening last night and his teacher commented that it is hard in a class of 26 children when some won't attempt to get dressed.

Doesn't help that my 3 year old nephew can pretty much do everything but his socks!!

Can your 5yo dress themselves?

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Pheebe · 13/11/2008 08:34

ds1 (4) can do it (sort of), just won't. If I let him it would take hours, his top and socks would end up backwards, and his trousers would be so far twisted round they're garot him. We exercise a supervised dressing approach. Getting clothes on correctly is quite a technical process and like so much else different kids 'get it' at different ages.

Did the teacher offer any constructuve suggestions or were they just bitching about it? Perhaps try making sure he's got t-shirt/tops with baggy necks that won't get caught (this is what scared ds1) and pull on trousers (preferably tracky pants if uniform allows). Reward scheme at home for successful dressing - something thats a real incentive not just pointless stars on a board. Practice with him, let him help you get dressed.

Hope that helps

dilbertina · 13/11/2008 08:34

dd can, but I'm sure it's a very individual thing. I guess just keep encouraging him and get him to practice with "easy" clothes when there's no time pressure, it may be confidence rather than ability. I'm sure he'll get it soon! (can't imagine a 15 year old wanting his mum to dress him)!

slim22 · 13/11/2008 08:37

mine can do all but tops and buttons.....if willing

MmeLindt · 13/11/2008 08:37

DS is 4.5yo and can dress himself properly within minutes, but if left to his own devices can take hours. He forgets that he is supposed to be getting dressed and starts playing.

I agree with Pheebe, make sure he has clothes that are easy to put on.

Do you dress him at home? He needs to practice at home, when you have plenty of time and are not rushing to get out of the door.

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 13/11/2008 08:37

Ds can do everything including shoes and coat, but there are plenty of children in his class that can't, they all do things at different times.

And I should point out that although he can do it himself, he much prefers to sit in my lap whilst I do it, and most mornings this is what we do.

juuule · 13/11/2008 08:38

Out of 9 children, some could dress themselves completely at 5yo, some couldn't and some wouldn't.

Depends on the child. Give him time and he'll be fine. If he's having a screaming fit because he can't do it, stay calm and let him know that all of us couldn't do it at one time and just to take it a bit slower. Then if he'll let you, help him and show him the easiest way to do what he is trying to do.

I'm sure it must be difficult for the teacher but she must be used to 5yo who can't do it all by themselves yet.

Oh and try not to compare too much with your nephew. Not a good idea. But you probably already know that.

expatinscotland · 13/11/2008 08:39

dd1 has dyspraxia.

she can put on trousers with NO fasteners and socks.

but she struggles with any sort of top and she does need extra time on the whole.

dd2 is nearly 3 and can manage just about everything as long as there are no buttons or zips.

spinspinsugar · 13/11/2008 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wangle99 · 13/11/2008 18:47

Thanks ladies you have made me feel better, teacher's point was 'I have 26 children in the class I don't have time to help them'. I'm sure DS will get there eventually (well I hope he will anyway!)

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Anna8888 · 13/11/2008 18:50

My just 4 year old daughter can do most things - she is very good at buttons. She is hopeless at socks but all her socks are too small and I need to buy her some bigger ones. It really depends on her level of motivation - in the evening after school she is desperate to take her school clothes off and to put on her nightdress (including little buttons). I think she can everything but zips and laces.

asteamedpoater · 13/11/2008 18:56

My 4.8 year old son can dress and undress himself - although he only has to pull up his trousers (he wouldn't be able to manage trouser buttons, as his grip is not strong enough to pull the material together and deal with the button) and I don't expect him to tuck his shirt in. I also wouldn't expect him to be able to tie shoelaces, yet. He could do socks and shoes (with velcro) before anything else, then trousers, then t-shirts, then pants, and last of all shirts and coats. He can only do that at this age because I literally taught him how to do it (and he's practised it): how to work out which way round things go, how to lay them out, how to do buttons and zips, how to get things the right way round again if they end up inside out, how to get your jumper off without the t-shirt getting caught inside and coming off with it etc. When you think about it, dressing skills are not as simple as they first appear.

I do think it was worth teaching him, as he has low tone and hypermobility, so the pulling on clothes, pulling up zips etc, was good for building up the strength of his grip. I think it also helps with his confidence at school, which was the main reason I taught him rather than leaving him to his own devices, as I was keen for him to be as independent as possible so that his physical differences should not be too noticeable to other children. Maybe a bit paranoid, but he was always so lacking in physical confidence until he started school and is now brimming with confidence in his own abilities, so I feel I did do the right thing for him, as he can see something he can do physically that not all children his age can (rather than noticing that other children can hop, run fast, climb stairs normally, colour in drawings without finding it exhausting, etc).

I think it might be worth trying to persuade your son to be a bit more independent with his dressing, now he's 5 - maybe start with getting him to do his own trousers each morning and work up from there? Or make a game out of learning how to get dressed? My younger son loves having his clothes laid out in a circle around him, he then jumps on all his clothes and chooses what to put on first (provided it's logical to put that particular thing on first.... wouldn't want him going out looking like Superman...).

guyFAwkesreQuiem · 13/11/2008 19:01

Yes DS2 (nearly 5) can dress himself.

He can't do laces - but that's why 99.99% of children's shoes for that age group are velcro - because 99.99% of children can't tie their laces

Actually I think DS2 probably could tie laces if I taught him - he's that sort of boy.

DS1 on the other hand is 8 and still wouldn't have a chance at doing them.

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