Beginning to reach end of tether re sleep

[Gravitygirl]

My son who is one in weeks, still wakes for a nighttime feed. I had decided to let it run its course and him give it up when he wants but I am so fed up of feeding in the night and then having him in with us for the rest of it.
My daughter slept through consistently from about 6 months with no extra milk etc. I realise she is the exception not my son but I never had to try and do anything with her it just happened.

Now I am so worried I am a crap parent who has somehow done something wrong this time around and I dont know if it will ever end.

He eats well in the day, he has reflux so he cant seem to drink a full bottle of milk, 4 oz seems max. He has this before bed and I cant get him to have any else during the day.

His crying is disturbing my daughter at night so now we have two up for a good portion of the night....

Please can someone help me see a way out of this, I am posting this off the back of a bad night so probably sound all doom and gloom.

Thanks

Ha, I am EXACTLY in the same position - except my first was even worse at sleeping. DS2 is 13 months, he has a cot in our bedroom, but as I BF he used to end up in bed with us the whole night. I am trying to get him to stay in the cot, last night was the first night of the new routine, but I caved in at 4am when he kept pointing to our bed and clawing at my boobs and crying in bewilderment.
Does you son eat well? Has he had a good dinner before bed? Does he take more milk when he wakes up at night? I am really sorry but i cant think of a way out of this (otherwise mine would be sleeping through now...) other than going to him when he cries to calm him, making sure he has more milk out of the bottle, and shushing him to sleep. Hopefully someone will come along with the answers to both of our problems.

I dont claim to have the answers, but I was in this position and am now not - so I will tell you what we did and see if it helps.

Ds was bf so like you often ended up in bed with us when i was too tired to keep getting up to him. So we decided to give him weetabix before bed so that we knew he wasnt hungry, and take water in a cup upstairs at bed time.

Then dh went to him to start with if he woke before 1am, then 1.30 etc adding on half an hour every three to four days - after one or two very bad nights when he seemed quite upset that it wasnt me going through, he got used to it quickly, and we got to 5.30 without too much trouble really.

I now count sleeping to 5.30, then coming into bed with us (although he is no longer bf) as a success - and I feel a million times better for it too.

Ds is now 15 months and its got better from dh starting to help at around 11.5 months - probably took to about 12.5/13 months to go the whole night cause we were away a couple of times which cause him to wake again earlier - but you have to persevere, and even if he is upset, if you know he is not hungry/cold/too hot etc - and dh was with him so not controlled crying as such (cause I wanted to avoid that if possible) you have to stick to your guns.

If it hadnt worked after a few days I would have gone back to the coming into bed - but I'm glad we didnt now.