Controlled crying, NCSS, healthy sleep happy child, stay as we are - I'm so confused!!!

[lisalollipop]

Please help! Our 6 month old has never been good at sleeping - day or night. The first 3 months at night were not so bad as he would wake every 3 hours, feed then straight back to sleep and back in his moses basket then cot. Then from 4 months he would still wake 3 hourly, feed then be awake for up to 1 - 2 hours. Now it's sometimes 2 hourly then a nightmare to get him back to sleep. Need help deciding what method to use. Have given NCSS a go but he just gets furious about the removal of his favourite nipple. Healthy sleep happy child made me feel equally confused and guilty that I could possibly have let him go this long in a sleep deprived haze! Tried controlled crying last night and he kept crying for 1 1/2 hours (as did I), finally fell asleep and then woke up 45 minutes later. Don't know if I should have left him that long or whether he's not ready/ appropriate for him. Not keen on controlled crying but don't want to leave him knackered. Sorry for long drone... any advice gratefully listened to.

NCSS is good BUT it isn't a quick fix

I think it takes a while but it is gentle

i don't think CC is the way forward

can you not just feed him to sleep? he is still very little?

We did CC but it's not for everyone and you have to be committed to it before going ahead. If you can't bear to hear your child cry, then it is not for you.
Sorry I can't be more constructive!

Your ds sounds a bit like mine at that age. I was pretty desperate. We ended up co-sleeping for a while which helped, and then we did cc at 8 months. I'm not sure it would have worked at 6 months. Sleep's still not brill (see my other post on that very subject!), but we do now have evenings again, and sometimes decent stretches of sleep.

Have you tried Baby Whisperer ideas? These worked for dd, although not I'm afraid for ds. Bit gentler than cc.

Thank you both. I do feed him to sleep, transfer him back into the cot asleep then a couple of minutes later he wiggles himself awake. I then try and re-settle him in the cot by patting/lullabies etc.

Oh, yes, Baby Whisperer is good.

healthy sleep is a crap book, it's badly written and makes you feel guilty that your children are not sleeping 20 hours out of 24 and you've ever dared leave the house and let them have a zizz in the buggy.

Personally, I would do the cc route but I know that advice is controversial. If it's not for you, you'll know. It'd not fun. It does work though.

Lisa, I also did the feed to sleep, then transfer to cot - and yes, dd and ds both started to wake up when I did this, and it was a nightmare to get them off. I seriously recommend you look into Baby Whisperer pick up put down technique if you're not keen on cc, as the idea is that it teaches babies to go to sleep on their own, whilst staying with them, and comforting them.

Sorry Travellerintime we crossed msgs in time. My back struggles with the pupd from the baby whisperer. Co-sleeping does help but I'm scared about getting him into the habit and still he wakes up 3 hourly but goes straight back to sleep.

no advice just a warning: cc worked perfectly with dc1 but dc2 just didn't get it with up to 3 hours of cc Finally decided that enough was enough and he could come into our bed when necessary. Everyone got more sleep, not ideal but it worked for us.
Your baby is still very young so will wake up often but it will end, someday, somehow.

no advice just a warning: cc worked perfectly with dc1 but dc2 just didn't get it with up to 3 hours of cc Finally decided that enough was enough and he could come into our bed when necessary. Everyone got more sleep, not ideal but it worked for us.
Your baby is still very young so will wake up often but it will end, someday, somehow.

Only you can decide what is best for your family. There is no right or wrong answer.

Have you read "Nighttime Parenting" by William Sears. He has suggestions on how to make life easier if you decide just to accept the broken nights.

He's six months old.
He's a baby not a clockwork toy.
He needs his mother near him not some weirdy regime.

Jesus!!!

Have read 4 books so far on baby sleep and have so many things running round my head - that's why I'm so confused! Thanks all for suggestions and comments.

PUPD baby whisperer method would be best but you need patience as it can take lots of pupds. This way though, you stay with them when they are crying (you could always leave the room for a few mins if you think they are settling).

moondog of course he is not a clockwork toy but getting sleep is extremely beneficial to parents and babies. i don't see whar is wrong with putting a baby into a gentle routine and helping them sleep.

lisalollipop, go with your gut instinct. There are millions of baby books in the world, but none of these authors have met your baby.

No they could write a whole new book on my LO

if you were prepared to buy the book that goes with the website (about £7), babysleepanswers.com is a brilliant website that has a chat forum with parents who have been through loads of sleep issues and are now part of the 'dream team'. You post questions as much as you want and they talk you through your problems and trying to solve them. I found them when my dd was 6 months and was habit waking every night. They got her sleeping through (with the addition of a dream feed) within two weeks. Can't promise it would work like that for you (but fingers crossed anyway) but they could be worth a try. Even if you don't decide to buy the book (and therefore the ability to ask questions online) you can still read what others have posted and you might find some answers there.

they also help you sort out daytime napping too...

i dont have any suggestions but from experiences DS1 was the worst sleeper ever and we co-slept for my own sanity so i didnt have to get up 10 times + a night. he decided himself at about 7months that he wanted his own space and by 10months was sleeping 12-13hrs a night. Our biggest problem was teaching him to fall asleep on his own but with the help of the sleeplady at the scottish baby show we did a "shush shush" thing combined with gradual withdrawal and it worked.

I didnt realise that CC could be used on a 6month old as they dont understand why mum is leaving them upset.

I think that lisalollipop has to decide what she wants. There is no right or wrong answer. People get very emotional and heated about the "routine" debate. Its almost as bad as arguements about breastfeeding or working mums.

As mother you have to find your own path and decide what is right for you. You can read all the baby books in the universe, but if their approach is not right for you and your family then you are better going on gut instinct.

If he wakes up while being moved or soon after, try feeding him ON a sheet that he wil then lie on and under the same blankets. way when you move him you are not moving him onto cold sheets whch could wake him
(however, I still ended up co sleeping with all 3 of mine, in fact now I think about it I had 3 bad sleepers.... who am I to give advice!!!!)

lisalollipop they write books to sell them and don't give a fig for you or your child.

do what makes you happy and i do agree with moondog, babies need their mothers. i co-slept for a year or so. it isn't as difficult as you'd think to stop it. just wait until it is time (not 6m).

Hi Lisa, I would be confused too, with all the sleep advice out there. Both my dcs were very poor sleepers. In fact, I would ecstatic if my ds 2 slept for 3 hours at a stretch. Anyway, if you don't know what to do, the best course of action is to do nothing. If you can just about live with it, there is no gold standard your ds has to live up to in the sleep department. I co-sleep. My dd now sleeps like a log and I have to wake her up in the mornings for school. They will get there in the end even if you do nothing.

It is so hard when you aren't getting any sleep and getting a solution to this problem seems like the only issue in life.

6mo is honestly very young and things change so much. DD was terrible from 6mo-14mo but now at 18mo sleeps a full 11hr in her own cot and that bad period is fading really fast from my memory.

I read all the books but never had the heart to really commit to any programme and lo and behold it just sorted itself out in the end.

In the meantime we went with co-sleeping after 1st wake up and napping when she napped. Anything to save sanity.

I don't think you should do or not do anything on the basis of avoiding future problems. Just do what feels right to you now.

Didn't get to pc yesterday so you may not get my thanks but..
Really appreciate all your help. Do feel better about not knowing what to do!

fledtoscotland - only tried cc because friends of mine with more children swore by it and made me think I would have to do it to make things change. But then they told me once he started solids that would help to and it didn't! Have decided it's not for me/us now anyway.

julietbat - might give it a go thanks.

Thanks all for the support and encouragment that I'm ok to be confused and that even if I carry on the same way things will get better on their own.