Remind me again about NEWBORNS please - could we really be doing something dreadfully wrong?

[MrsTittleMouse]

Bit of background - DD1 was a dreadful sleeper and very noisy. It was very difficult to settle her. Now we have DD2 and was had thought that she was a bit more content, but now (at 5 weeks) she is following in her sister's footsteps and getting very difficult to settle in the evening - alternating feeding and crying and not sleeping in the cot that does just fine in the day. We have taken to co-sleeping with DH in the spare room just so that I can get 4 hours of sleep a night (and cope with a lively toddler in the day), but I really really don't want to cosleep long-term.

Both DDs have been breastfed on demand and have been very windy. DH was wondering whether we were doing anything wrong. He has wondered if we overfeed them, but I didn't think that that was possible, even though they have both put on a lot of weight through exclusive breastfeeding.

In a way, I would like it if we were doing something wrong, because then we could stop doing it and I wouldn't be so tired. I have a feeling that we just have newborns that are more work than those of our friends (who all seem to have had Angel babies that sleep for at least 6 hours at night by 7/8 weeks and nap easily in the day).

Please help!

The bad news... Sounds normal! Evening esp is that notorious witching hour. Five weeks is such early days. You may see a big improvement even in the next couple of weeks.

Agree with marlasinger - sometimes people exaggerate or only mention the good nights. I think its to convince themselves as much as anything.

Sounds exactly like my three at that age, completely normal to be so unsettled at this age.

Ignore the "angel" babies.

It does settle down by about 3 months (well it did with mine)

I think you forget how draining a wee newborn is.

Yes completely normal! Infacol worked with my dd for the windyness/colic. It sounds like you're doing a splendid job feeding her up, and you're right it isn't possible to overfeed a bf baby at this age. My dd did improve quite a lot at around 8/9 weeks I think (for a while anyway).

Unfortunately (well, not for the friends!) we have seen first-hand evidence of the wonderful sleep behaviour of friends' babies when babysitting etc. I am the one exaggerating though, as it's not all of our friends, it just feels that way! We thought that the second would be different. But it seems that everyone who had "easy" babies first time round has had even easier ones, and those of us who had hard-to-settle babies have had more of the same!

Sounds normal. They are small and little and want closeness and lots of feeding. Remember, their tummies are literally the size of a walnut! Plus breast milk is digested mroe quickly than formula. Plus what you eat can upset their tums. Mine didnt like Brocolli, cauliflower, chilli peppers and too much diary (as in me eating lots of it)

Best thing to do for the first 6 months is just totally go with the flow with it all, all the cluster feedings, all the growths spurts, all the unknown crying fits and by 6 months it will seem better xx

Au contraire, I had an angel first time round (DD) and DS, now 11 weeks, has been noisy, crying, difficult to settle, windy and an all-round awkward-squad little boy, bless his little chubby cheeks. DD slept through by 9 weeks from 10.30 to 7, fed (BF) every three hours (I was feeding on demand, she just fell into that routine herself), blah blah blah. But then actually, looking back, she was tricky to settle for daytime naps for ages and ages.

Having a more tricky customer has been a huge shock this time, and weeks 5-9 were particularly challenging. He's just started going from 11, post-dream feed, to 6.30, tho, so at least I am now getting enough sleep to cope with the challenges of the day and a 2 year old.

Am not quite so beholden to the Baby Whisperer this time round, but a brief re-reading has given me a confidence boost that I'm not doing anything wrong, in my darker moments of shushing, patting and endless bloody winding. He has his father's guts...

In other words, the first 12 weeks, for most people, are not great. It will pass...

oh yes, and my HV always gave me a good bit of advice - most of the mums who say their newborns are 'sleeping through' are often liars.... unless you count sleeping from midnight to 4 am as sleeping through!

x

Rats! You were all supposed to tell me that if I only did then I could sleep occasionally. Thank you for all teh reassurance. Looks like we're in for the long haul again...