What advice do you have for babies / toddlers who are fussy eaters?

[PeppermintPatty]

I know children (epecially toddlers) can be fussy eaters. My mum said I was terribly fussy, in fact I remember being like this.

DD is only 16 months, and is incredibly fussy. She doesn't drink any milk, I tried everything, and now just accept that she doesn't like it. She doesn't like meat so I'm worried about her iron intake.

She rarely eats very much at mealtimes. There are certain foods that she likes but most other things she refuses to eat. So her diet is very limited. I always end up making the same meals for her, because I know she likes them and because I've run out of ideas

When she is ill (she's had a few colds recently) she barely eats anything.

She is definitely getting skinner. She hasn't put on any weight on in the last 4 months. Clothes she was wearing in Spring now look baggier on her. Despite this she has grown taller and is in fact tall for her age.

Please tell me if I just stop worrying, accept her fussiness and let her live on beans, yoghurt, weetabix and fruit?

Or do you know of anything that will help? Or any meal ideas please?

ds is a bit like this, he went from eating everything (except meat) to being a very picky eater, he was skinny to start with (and prem) but I refuse to pander to him because I think it will make it worse. He is tall and skinny - about 1 stone 11 and is 2 and can go for days without eating a thing if poorly. I firmly believe what has been said many times on here, children will not starve themselves. If he eats breakfast and picks at at least one other meal and has a couple of snacks then I'm happy enough. He seems happy healthy and lively enough.

apparently my husband was incredibly fussy and wouldn't eat anything with 'bits' in it, what a pain.

ds1 who is now four is very fussy about the smell of food and textures.

for your 16mth old...would she eat hummous?, relatively smooth, and very healthy (i think?) and my two practically live on it, they love dipping cheese, carrots, tomatoes and cucumber in it. what do you think about topping up with vitamins. my son had to have surgery last year and found it difficult to eat for quite a while and i gave him...minadex..its a tonic with vits and minerals. its good she has yoghurt though.

if she doesn't like the texture of meat what about fish, poached in milk? soft and flacky

My DS 2.5YO is a really fussy eater and TBH the best peice of advice I was given was to give him stuff he will eat and dont fret about what he wont.

Even if it means its not exactly the best diet aslong as he eats, it took me ages to realise my HV wasnt lying to me and that I wasnt horrible because DS wont eat veg. I felt V.shitty for a long time to start with now he still lives on sausages, beans, toast, cereal and bananas but atleast hes eating something!

I meant to say also my HV reccommended vitamins for DS just to keep him going as he wasnt getting all he needed from his diet he seems to be fine though.

My DD used to be terribly fussy (right from weaning stage) and I was incredibly stressed about it, which I'm sure didn't help! As she got a bit older, though, I could negociate with her ('you can have a yogurt after you've eaten your yummy broccoli' etc) and now - aged 3.9 - she is soooo much better and I can take her to friends for lunch without worrying what they're going to dish up!! So I do think that when they're old enough to understand negociation, it gets easier - and if she doesn't eat what I want her to (as long as it's nothing she actually dislikes of course) , she has no pudding, full stop.

DS on the other hand - 19 months - sounds like the OP's DD, except he used to be a brilliant eater. He now usually has one good meal a day and pushes away everything else away. I'm hoping this is ok - he is active and happy enough.

Aren't they challenging, the little darlings?! And most of my friends have amazing eaters of course...

Sorry, realised I hadn't actually given any advice there. I agree that if she's eating a few healthy things, which she is, then that's great. I would still try her on a new thing now and again tho and you may get lucky.
By the way, was your DD always fussy? Or has she changed recently?
If she doesn't like milk, make sure she has cheese (on her beans, for a start) and yogurts (thank goodness for yogurts!).
Meal ideas - pasta in cheesy sauce? Cheese on toast (with some ketchup spread on the bread like a pizza base) with hidden finely chopped mushrooms/ sweetcorn underneath? Baked potato with cheese or tuna mayonaise? Fish pie (I have a great recipe if you like - this is one thing my DD did eat so I used to make it all the time and still do.)

I give my two Abidec vitamin liquid, the one with fish oils as well. Makes me feel like I'm covering all avenues, IYSWIM.

DD (2.5) is also fussy although she is getting much better. I agree that it starts to get easier when you can negotiate with them. Especially about trying new things. I alwasy give her something new with something I know she likes and the deal is if she at least tries it, she gets pudding. Amazingly enough, she now likes prawns as a result of this strategy.

Being fussy at the age your DD is frustrating because there is no negotiation. Try to relax about it and start introducing new foods when you can but don't have any expectations about it.

Sympathies though - it is really hard

i'd definitely go with the vits and iron in supplement form, just to take the edge off your anxiety if nothing else.

Put this thought into your head: if they don't want to eat it, they aren't hungry and they don't need it. (or they don't like it or they're ill)

If they're happy and perky they're fine. Some children thrive on a diet of thin air.

You wouldn't cajole an adult to eat, don't bother doing it with a child. I don't mean let them fling the shepherd's pie at the wall and then dish out the ice cream, I mean don't make a big deal about it and don't try to persuade them to eat. If they fling the shepherd's pie, they're not hungry or they don't need it. Either way, end of mealtime, let them go play.

Very often children need 6 small meals, not 3 big ones. Children can go past a stage of being hungry enough to eat and being starving, which feels horrible, and then they don't know what they want and shove food away. And some children just don't like food all that much - fair enough. If there aren't many things they like it's a good idea to keep offering and persuading them to try a mouthful, but always a very bad idea to force children to eat things they hate.

Agree with Aitch about vits and iron to ease your mind.

If you think your child is too skinny, blob a bit of butter/cream/olive oil into whatever they will eat.

twofalls - your strategy top idea. A whole new dish can be overwhelming - I've put the new thing in a ramekin next to the main plate before so it doesn't 'contaminate' the rest of the meal. If you can put it on the plate, even better.

lol at contamination Iamnothere. I had to clean the minuscule amount of fish pie I wanted DD to try from her plate last night and put it in a separate dish before she would take the look of horror of her face!

Lots of good advice here. Try never to make mealtimes a battle ground - you will never win and it will end in tears all around. For a long time I saw meals times as 6 small ones rather than getting hung up about breakfast, lunch and dinner. In fact, DD still doesn't really do lunch - yesterday it was walnuts, dates, flapjack mixture and some stale duck bread whilst sitting on the worktop whilst helping me make flapjacks.

i sympathise, have a very fussy dd (14 months), although she does like her meat but thats about all.

i make sure she always has breakfast of yoghurts and then some cereal (like cheerios, no milk ) or toast, snacks of humzingers/raisins/srawberries and then attempt lunch, but really it doest often happen, she might eat a cracker or biscuit and more fruit but thats it, she'll then graze on bits of things untl 3 when i refuse to give her anything else until tea time so she is hungry. We then give her tea, always something we've had the night before, followed by yoghurt. if she really hates it but still seems hungry, i sometimes give her toast, but not always. i figure she has to learn to try things and if she won't eat she goes hungry, which rarely happens. She eats at least a yoghurt, and i know she's eaten other stuff in the day so i let it go.

Writing that sounds very harsh, but i am really worried about her developing a food issue, so i try and relax and let her lead, without controlling iyswim.

Someone suggested to me the idea of yorkshire puddings when i said dd hardly ever ate carbohydrates. amzingly she loves them. Thought i'd pass on the idea in case they turn out to be a fave of your dd's too!