DS (2.5) hits and punches me when he's angry - how to stop this?

[PussinJimmyWhoooos]

He's got one hell of a temper on him and if I say NO in a firm voice, he will come over and hit me or he will go and headbang. He's got bruises on his forehead from headbanging today and I'm getting very worried about it all.

Nothing seems to be working with him. If anything, the more cross and firm I get, the more angry this seems to make him. I've tried getting down on his level and being soothing, I get hit. I've tried walking out of the room but then he headbangs...I can't leave him to it as I'm worried he's going to do some damage to himself...

Any advice appreciated. Have been in tears with it today and feeling pretty crap as a parent atm...

say firmly OUCH that hurts mummy!!

as you are his mum (i wouldnt suggest this to nyone else) when you sense this coming on hug him tightly and sing anything girls aloud / nursery rhyme anything and just keep singing and talking til the moment psses not in a hostile squashing sense just in a firm hold that holds him secure at first he will reject you but work through it nd soon his mood will be shorter......hes only 2 and half the worlds a big place its hard for him to explin his feelings - are his speech skills on target? could he be encouraged to ralk his feelings through? what are the riggers (if any ) to these outbursts? is he tired /hungry/cross?

Its a phse youll get through it nd then bloody ell nother one strts x

Do you have a safe place to plonk him when he does this. DD does it now and then and is put in her room and ignored for three minutes until she calms down.

I'm guessing he's been upset by recent events and absence and it playing up.

DS (18mo) does it occasionally. When he does, I say NO firmly, then plonk him straight on the floor and ignore him for a minute or so.

WMMC - he was like this before DH went away My mum made some in roads on it by taking his cars away and only giving them back to him when he has calmed down so maybe I'll try that again...

I can't put him in his cot as he headbangs the bars and will hurt himself. Am wondering if its worth getting DH to get the travel cot - soft padded sides, out of the loft and use that for time out? Problem is, if its near a wall, he'll just lean over and head bang the wall...

What triggers it? Me saying no to something...earlier it was to some chocolate....or this morning I said firmly 'just lay down' when it was nap time...he didn't like this - cue melt down..

I've tried holding him - no good. I've tried singing and ignoring him but he just gets worse....maybe it needs more time of ignoring...

I'm absolutely exhausted now..Dh has him and I'm just sat here puffy eyed from crying over it all....I love him so much and I hate the tears and the headbanging, the endless tantrums...

my DS (3) has a temper too & I have noticed the more I raise my voice etc the more he mirrors me & gets further & further wound up. Am trying to keep really calm & soft voice, still getting my point across but as calm as I can - if I can manage it I keep my voice upbeat & matter-of-fact cheerful. It seems to be helping him not melt down as often - might be worth a go?

DD gets like that if I give her chocolate - is it possibly diet related.

Also saying no will always rile a toddler. I tend to say 'yes, but not now' which is more acceptable apparently

The headbanging will not damage him permanently. If you point blank refuse to notice it he will stop that particular aspect of his behaviour within days (I know it's hard).

Sounds like he is after one on one attention - instead of taking cars away how about saying 'if you are nice all morning I will play cars with you for twenty minutes'?

please tell me to fuck off if I'm being patronising!

Noo, not patronising at all

Going to put the travel cot up in the spare room tomorrow and use that for tantrum time outs...soft, safe...well, unless he tips it over but will have to see how it plays out...

He's half Arab...and I think he's inherited his Dad's hot temper....oh...what joy...two of 'em to contend with....

Good idea re tantrum time outs.

How are you ?

DD can escape travel cots in under five minutes! She can't reach the door handle yet though ha!

So....any chance of there being three to contend with?

WMMC - no, bastard AF arrived this am

Boys - aww thank you for remembering Am ok thanks, just a bit worn out with toddlerdom! MIL is holding on...constitution of an ox methinks!

Sorry to hear that!

Toddlerdom is the pits. Tis worse when you have a newborn though - believe me, I'm exasperated most of the time with their shinanigans. They took it it turns to yell at me all of last night so I'm very sleepy and cross today!

Suggest you put DS on ebay as: 'small boy, good with chimneys' and spend the proceeds on chocolate!

Well, DH surprised me today with a bag from Hotel Chocolat containing not one but two slabs of yummy choc..bless him. He also bought me some nail stuff as well as I had said my hands were looking a bit worse for wear...

He's having an affair I think!! pmsl!!!

At least it wasn't washing up gloves

I don't think he's having an affair but he does owe you for not giving him a hard time for being away so long.

He does doesn't he???!! Oh and he's talking about doing it all again in Jan .... pmsl!!

Oh dear, am I going to have to medi-heckle again?

I suggest he should run you a bath and do your toenails as penance.

A bath...with flo in town.... lol

In all honesty, I doubt she will be around in Jan but am being positive for him as he's so upset...hope never hurt anyone..bless him.. and if he does go..well, I'll be a tad quieter ..I promise..

Ah I don't care, was good to get my brain working remembering all that stuff.

I haven't had a period now for over three years hurrah! But mine always stopped in close proximity to water. I assumed everyone's did?

I thought of your DH earlier. My friend is dying of oesophagal cancer at the minute She's suddenly deteriorated and treatment and feeding are being withdrawn. So sad Even though they knew it was coming it's just such a blow for all concerned. So try to be kind to him.

Oh sorry to hear that cancer is a fucker....I am being kind to him, I really am....blimey, everyone keeps telling me 'be kind'....do they think I'm actually some kind of mega bitch that gives him hell even though his Mum is ill??!!

(I don't give him hell btw!!!)

No we don't think that.

But the death of a parent hits like a train! You can afford to be magnanimous about the witch woman