Suspended from nursery at 17 months

[MrsCurly]

I've put off writing about this as I've been very upset and angry about it all, as well at times as finding it all almost funny (if it wasn't really happening), but a reply on another thread has given me heart, so here goes, and I'd really appreciate your opinions please.

Two and a half weeks ago, my 17 month old daughter was temporarily excluded from nursery for repeated biting. I went to collect her one evening and was asked not to bring her back the next day. She will be off in total for five and a half weeks, although the last two weeks is a planned holiday.

The owner asked me to keep her away, without consulting the nurses who actually look after her. As I left that evening all the nurses were saying goodnight and see you tomorrow.

I've tried over the last week to get a meeting with the owner, the manager and my daughter's key worker, but they haven't got back to me.

In my mind it is completely mad. I can't see how not being at nursery is magically going to teach her not to bite. She isn't capable of understanding why she isn't going. I was happy with her nursery up til now, but I've lost all my confidence in them. I also know that the suspension is because of one parent's complaints - in a previous conversation with the owner about the biting problem she said just as long as my daughter doesn't bite xxx again as the parents have complained so angrily.

Has any one heard of this happening to anyone else? How do other nurseries deal with it?

(and thanks Hercules for your message on the other thread)

CurlyMum, just adding my 2ps worth to all the other shocked posters here...your dd is younger than mine and no-one at her nursery would ever suspend a child for biting...they'd expect to help the child change behaviour and they'd also expect to deal appropriately with the bitee's parents...by keeping who bit who confidential, for a start, so as to avoid any silliness in the car park etc. One of dd's little compadres recently went through a nipping phase and I know for a fact his mum was mortified and none of us held it against her, him or the nursery staff at all. I cannot believe your nursery are doing this. I hope you get some answers soon.

Why don't you phone OFSTED and find out what their guidelines are? I can't imagine they go in for recommending that toddlers be suspended from nursery. But who knows, we live in Britain, and nothing to do with children surprises me anymore - if someone told me that five year olds are going to be sent to prison under a new law, I wouldn't be that shocked.

If OFSTED says that's not their guidelines, I personally would make a formal complaint about the nursery, find a different one, and demand my money back for that period of time your DD has been suspended. For many mothers, this could be the difference between keeping their job and not. If I'd had to take 3 weeks off work when I was working in advertising because my childcare had collapsed, I can't imagine the horror and stress it would have caused me. What is the nursery's contract with you? Does it reserve the right in its contract to suspend children? This is really very peculiar.

Hi, I want to share my experience about a nursery who suspended my son at 17 month for day, because he he did not listen when he was told to stop dropping toys. I would urge any mother to check the behaviour policy of the nursery before investing money and effort. He started at nursery 11 month, when the other kids have been older which we liked because he walked faster by spending time with them. He came home with few scratches but we did not complain. Now all his friends moved up to another room left with pre crawling and crawling baby. He is not been looked after despite the strees the putting him under by changing his enviroment at once. Labeled him unsafe among the other children. Once the mentioned to us that he hit a child and i ask my health visitor if i need to take him for lang or behaviour therapy she thought its not need.

My theiry is they don't want to suspend permanently because the may be obligated to return deposit and lose a month full payment. They try to push you out. My second guess is the were not able to meet the child to staff ratio because of the sudden increase in children under tge age of one and used my child as escape goat.

Ps on the day i was told to pick him urgetly, smilar to when ur child is ill. I had no waring that suspention excited for children as young as 17 month for going through the developmental stages.

I can't trust them we don't feel welcome after investing 6 month in there. My son was confused when i pick him up, as his dad does the picking and drop off. He did want to leave. I had to leave work because i was anxious if i don't pick up the could ckntact social services. I knew the could because that is late pick up police. If you don't inform them.

Ps ofsted can not help with their behaviour policy. The just tell them to set up one.

Just all mums to be aware of the many tactics some nursery may be consider to use to save money.

If you can try to share a nanny with some mums in the area. Ur child could get one to one care. most nursery nures are fade up with little pay and long ours anyway. U can get ex nursery nurse quite cheaply.

If u have to send ur child send him to a nursery the children under 1 and over one are kept seprate. It makes a lot of difference.