Ds gets very upset if offered half, or part, of something - anyone who can shed some light on this frankly bizarre behaviour?

[theSuburbanDryad]

Ds will only eat something if he's given all of it, for example a whole biscuit, or banana, or apple. He won't eat it if it's cut or broken into slices, and in fact will tantrum if offered something which is broken in half.

As I type he is having a major meltdown because i dared to offer him half an Oreo (I gave him a whole one yesterday and he started doing laps round the house so perhaps a tad too much sugar?) - it's as if the half/broken biscuit scares him. He's rolling around screaming "NO!" the same way he does when he has a night terror. When he gets like this all I can do is sit in the same room as him, he won't even let me sit next to him as he kicks and punches me and woe betide me if if i try and pick him up.

Is this just normal toddler behaviour? He's 22 months.

My ds used to do this, I read something at teh time that it is all about perception:

Ds wants a biscuit.
He gets offered half a biscuit.
In their freaky little minds half a biscuit is not actually a biscuit at all.
Cue meltdown.

Or something like that!

Hi, my DS does this and he's 4 and a half!

As an example, he asked for a slice of chocolate cake yesterday before dinner. His sister heard him ask so she asked if she could have some too. I cut a slice (big cake) and then cut it in half to give them a small bit each. Cue meltdown! He threw himself on the kitchen floor and screamed for the next 10 minutes or so. I walked out and ignored him and when I came back his piece of cake was smeared all over the kitchen floor in temper.

Please tell me it's a phase that will end soon?!

LOL @ "freaky little minds".

That's exactly it.

I let him help peel a satsuma and he's calmed down a bit now. But he wouldn't let me break it into bits for him!

Its because in their eyes if they are offered a biscuit, for example, the image of a biscuit they have is of a whole round/rectangular biscuit.

If they are then offered half a biscuit it doesn't match their image of a biscuit and isn't what they imagined they were going to get hence melt-down.

(or something like that...)

oh thank god my son isn't a freak!!

really annoying thoogh! since he doesn't FINISH anything and it's a WASTE to give him the whole thing!!!

mine went through a phase of not wanting broken food at about that age - eg half a biscuit. I think it is a control thing. What you are offering isn't what he is expecting - therefore his brain rejects it and he goes into meltdown.

It will get better - but maybe at the moment not a battle to fight - either give him a whole one or none at all, or something else altogether.

It's a man thing. Must Have It All.

Both mine - 6 and 4 - balk at any foodstuff that isn't whole, although at least the 6 year-old no longer tantrums about it.

I call it broken biscuit syndrome. If you offer a gingerbread man they are overjoyed. If you offer a gingerbread man with a broken arm they freak out.

There is no cure but age. And perhaps managing expectations try saying "Would you like a one armed gingerbread man" before they see it.

purple - i'm fairly sure ds would have finished a whole Oreo! I just don't want him to have a whole Oreo!

He's now sat next to me on the sofa cuddling up and going, "Duddle, Mama," which I think is his way of saying sorry (or i'll choose to believe it is, anyway).

I thought it was to do with half a biscuit not looking like a biscuit. DS1 hated broken biscuits. Nether DS2 or DD are bothered as long as they get to eat it.

Not just a man thing, my dd1 does this 2, she will screem if i give her half after offering a biscuit.

It's also him starting to learn to generalise an idea: the idea of "broken" - eg, re toys, a broken toy is a damaged toy - is a toy that doesn't work any more - is a horrid disappointment - is a loss.

He's doesn't yet realise that a 'broken' biscuit isn't a 'failed' or 'lost' biscuit. He will in due course, just comfort him a bit when this comes up.

aah, bless him

When they get older and object to half of anything or sharing something like a pudding in a restaurant I think its because they think they're being sold short

This thread is making me larf! I heart MN!

Love the idea of managing expectations - not sure ds will "get" the concept of a one-armed gingerbread man though!

Oh yes, when older, I was wondering that too before I saw how old OP's is. When they're about 7+ it starts being about the Possibility of Someone Else's (Particularly Your Sister's) Spit Possibly Having Got on Your Half.

Do you think it's a PFB thing, Soupy?

Ah yes Bink, and if you are dividing something to share you have to get the ruler/scales out

lol Bink - I remember that stage from when I was a child.

In fact I think my brother and I used to do really gross things to make sure the other didn't eat something that wasn't theirs (like licking the biscuits that were rightfully ours so the other wouldn't steal them )

Half a biscuit/banana/black forest gateau for 12 is BROKEN and WRONG.

Quite common, ime.

SuburbanDryad - get the mini Oreos.

No, I think it's more to do with the fact that DS2 and DD wouldn't turn down a biscuit whatever state it's in. Although perhaps that is to do with the fact that, as NSCs, they have scavenged more.

He's not having ANY kind of Oreos!

And neither should you be!

Now get your shoes off and get back in the kitchen.

DD3 had a different issue - she only ever wanted "both biscuits", and if I said no, only one biscuit (or even offered one biscuit in the first place which I realise is Better Parenting ) she'd stomp off in huff muttering "no biscuits then"

I solve this with ds (3.5) sometimes with careful word choice - would you like SOME banana / apple. Sometimes I say would you like to SHARE a biscuit (or whatever) with me. Sometimes (eg 1/2 slice of toast) its more 'you can have the other half when you've finished that one (also works for bananas and apples and oranges) - or if you only want them to have 1/2 a biscuit, that is the only option - you can either eat that half or not (and, if not we'll give it to the dog) (this almost always gets him eating whatever it is!). But yes, we had this, but its getting easier with the concept that sharing is nice (it also allows him to 'share' things off my plate at mealtimes if we've got different things (I'm vegetarian, ds and dh are not!))

Yes. That is one of the many things that DS#2 does that is part of the rich and complex tapestry of living with a mini-control freak.

But must admit that bit is improving slowly.