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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

9 month old BF DS still waking at night...will there come a point when...

15 replies

misspollysdolly · 03/11/2008 21:57

...he just spontaneously starts to sleep through?! Or am I being hopelessly optimistic...??!

DS2 is 9 months, still wakes at about 3am - and it really is usually only this once - feeds for a relatively short time (depending on whether we fall asleep or not!) and then goes back to bed.

I'm pretty certain that he wakes hungry and needing a quick feed since afterwards he usually goes down awake and settles himself to sleep. I don't think he is waking and, unable to resettle, needs feeding back to sleep.

I know a lot of people have a much worse time than this, but still nine months in, it is taking it's toll a bit. Do I just hang on in there and wait for him to just start sleeping through sometime or do I try some sort of crying to sleep thing? Hate that approach, because no more sleep is had by anyone (including the neighbours!) and lots more distress is felt all round...HELP!

OP posts:

racingsnake · 03/11/2008 22:25

Try a good book called 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution' by elizabeth pantley. Very nice and baby friendly.

phdlife · 03/11/2008 22:33

I do feel your pain misspolly, my ds fed a LOT - at 9m he was still feeding 2-3x a night. And it was just as you say, he was hungry. I remember one night thinking I was going to put my foot down and just cuddle him back to sleep - then I heard his tummy rumbling! So I just fed him and napped when he did, if I could.

His feeding was waaaay worse when he was teething. When he was cutting his pre-molars at 18m, we had a terrible time as he did start to use me as a dummy. I tried sleep-training but only for a couple of nights as it just made us both more miz. Plus I couldn't help thinking, if he needed it, he needed it iykwim.

And lo, soon as those teeth came through, he started sleeping through! He also self-weaned, which was for me, but at least I'm looking less like a zombie now.

hth, and good luck

idontbelieveit · 03/11/2008 23:09

my dd started sleeping through when she was about 18 months. I would (and did) hang in there, I did briefly try not feeding her but it was a nightmare for all concerned. I feel your pain though! (She's still bfing about once a week at 2.5). I just accepted it in the end and once i had done it felt easier somehow.

julietbat · 04/11/2008 08:50

Can I ask - are you dreamfeeding him at 10pm - ish? My bf dd started sleeping through (albeit at about 6 months)when I swopped from bfeeding her at 6.30pm and then waiting for her to wake in the night (usually about 3am)to bfeeding at 6.30pm and then again at 10.30pm It took a good few days for the dreamfeed to kick in but it did in the end and despite going back to giving her a night feed a couple of weeks ago when she was ill, she was able to drop that feed herself once she was better.

A really good website for any sleep issues is babysleepanswers.com

Best of luck!

ChairmumMiaow · 04/11/2008 09:16

dream feeding seems to be working with my 9mo DS too. He goes 6pm to 5am with a 10pm dream feed, and sometimes wakes at 1 or 2, when DH settles him with no milk. We're getting the waking less though, and he seems to be going longer (at first till 4am, then 5, and this morning till 6am!!)

Reesie · 04/11/2008 11:26

My dd woke up a couple of times a night at this stage. I just breastfeed her to sleep and she started sleeping through on her own by 14 months. He is obviously hungry and is asking you for milk when he wakes. Just feed him and he'll start sleeping through when his body doesn't need those calories at night.

DefNotYummyMummy · 04/11/2008 18:47

Mine slept through only when I weaned him at 14 months. I couldn't let him cry it out either. Slept through meaning he wakes up at 5:30/6 am. He sleeps through now to 7:30/8am - very deeply. Started around 2 (when he started nursery and I started shortnening his nap). I never let him sleep past 2pm. All children are different though as my friends boy (same age) has a 2-3 hour nap and sleeps 12 hours at night ! (Formula fed from the start though - don't know if that makes a difference). I think he just likes his sleep.

overbuurvrouw · 04/11/2008 18:58

If you're not doing a dream feed it is well worth trying.

Does he always wake at the same time? If so it may well be worth trying Wake to Sleep. I'm not totally up to speed on it but there is a lot in the archive. IIRC it involves stirring (but not waking) the baby an hour before they would usually wake. Very effective apparently.

Original poster

misspollysdolly · 09/11/2008 00:04

Hi, thanks for your suggestions guys...I have been dream feeding him at about midnight for the last three or four nights, with fairly mixed but mostly positive results.

Last night was a bit of a hit and miss blip and he was up more than normal really, but the dream feed generally takes him through to about 5 - still a bit early really and one of the days he has been reluctant to settle after some more milk at this time, but the other two have been OK. So, I think I will persevere and see if I can get him to go a bit longer and a bit longer, at least til 6 if we can stretch the post dream feed sleep that far!

OP posts:

Original poster

misspollysdolly · 29/11/2008 14:29

OK, so I am now losing the will to live with this...am getting so tired and fed up - other lack of sleep factors are not helping but still...

Have tried dream feeding him at around midnight. He sleeps til 5 ish and won't go back down. I have tried not dream feeding him at all he sleeps from bedtime (7ish) til around 3, feeds and usually goes back down, sometimes until half 6ish but the last few nights has woken 3 times or more between 3 and whenever poor DH relents and takes him downstairs. I feed him each time he wakes.

What do I do? Somebody tell me!! I don't really mind one night feed but 3 or more is just not funny. I have increased his food in the day. He naps for a couple of hours between half 12 and half 2. I have not tried controlled crying, but would really rather not as we have two other children and because he is in our room for the time being, plus I don't really want to TBH. HV instructed me to do CC, and to leave him crying in the loft bedroom with the door closed - don't really think I can do this. His waking is not helped by the fact that he can stand in the cot, so he wakes, stands up, can't get himself back down and gets a bit hysterical.

I am a staunch extended BFer but am being driven to considering trying a bottle of formula at bedtime...SOMEBODY TALK ME OUT OF IT PLEASE!!! WHAT DO I DO NOW??!!

OP posts:

meandjoe · 29/11/2008 16:39

It might not be hunger why he's waking everytime. He may just need the exra comfort. This age is the worst time in my experience for separation anxiety.

My ds was a champion sleeper, sleeping for 12 hours (with a dreamfeed) at 10 weeks, even he went through an AWFUL stage of waking anywhere between 2&6 times for a feed just for comfort. I'm not sure I have any advice but just wanted you to know that most babies from what I've heard go through this. It's up to you how you deal with it.

I just went with it and fed him as soon as he woke up but he wouldn't always go back down in his cot so I cuddled him til he was deeply asleep before I dared put him down or put him in his cot and kept holding his hand and laying him back down but he did protest loudly.

We ended up leaving one of my t-shirts that I had been wearing in his cot. The smell comforted him and often if he half woke up it would comfort him. He ended up getting so attached to it that it became his comfort blanket and he has it with him in the car/ buggy/ naps/ whenever I can't pick him up if he wanted really.

It does pass but it is awful I sympathise hugely. By 12 months ds was back to sleeping through and I genuinely can't remember the last time I had to go to him in the night.

As for the formula, it's entirely your choice. I may get flamed for saying this but if you want to try it then it can't do any harm in my opinion.....but if he is feeding well in the day and eating solids then perhaps he isn't hungry and it's just a case of hanging in there. xxxx

BarnMummy · 30/11/2008 13:05

Just a note on adding in a formula feed: by all means try it if you want to, but don't think of it as a miracle cure.

I put in one formula feed at 11pm with ds2 as it worked well with ds1 - but it made NO difference to ds2's sleep! Was most put out, so now trying to increase daytime calories instead, but it is a long old road...

Original poster

misspollysdolly · 30/11/2008 14:11

Thanks for your thoughts meandjoe and barnmummy...stood and looked at nighttime formula for a long itme in the shop yesterday, but just couldn't do it and then last night was better - bakc to the usual 1x starightforward night feed so think I've got my perspective back a bit. Any more thoughts gratefully received...but thanks guys!

OP posts:

MadameOvary · 30/11/2008 14:25

DD nearly 9 m/o and on a good night will sleep in three-hour chunks. She is teething (seventh/eighth teeth on their way) and so needs the extra comfort I think. I dont always need to feed, sometimes a cuddle is enough to get her back to sleep.
Know what you mean about formula too - good for you and hang in there.

papaya · 30/11/2008 21:36

I am interested in hearing more thoughts on this as my DS 8 months goes through the night form 7pm to around 7am.....sounds great doesnt it, except he wakes all the night anywhere form every 45 mins to every 2 hours max......

Dream feeding seems to work some nights and not others, so I am sure its probably more likely to be comfort my DS wants and not extra calories. But some nights he wakes every 45 mins, I just can't understand this its soo excessive?? makes me think we were totally spoiled with DD (now nearly 4) who has pretty much slept through since 3 months!

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