How good are your 7 year olds table manners/eating habits?

[sandyballs]

The reason I ask is that my 7 year old DD went out with friends at the weekend for a meal and her mother jokingly said that DD ate with her mouth open and used her fingers . It was said jokingly but I still think she meant to get the point across. To be fair DD was eating pizza and I don't see anything wrong with picking up a slize of pizza. I've never seen her eat with her mouth open but it is possible! She does tend to shovle it in .

MIL has often commented on DDs eating habits and I've always responded with 'oh she's only 4, 5 6 ...' but I suppose it is time to sort it out, but how? I feel I've let her down somehow, and feel a bit ashamed that this friend pointed this out.

Yes Iv'e always thought mine were not too bad but have recently noticed her eating mashed potato with her fingers and have started cracking down

trouble is, if I watch TOO much, I get put off my dinner...

erm my dd has good habits and she is 4 .. think you need to start now ..

I'd expect pizza to be eaten with fingers, thinkt hat is pretty acceptable whatever age, but maybe in overexcitment of chatting with friends she didn't chew with mouth closed even if she does normally. At 7 I think good table habits should be the norm but suspect increasingly with packed lunches and tv dinners there are fewer opportunities to reinforce this.

pizza is finger food in our house! and in everyone else's i know...i must surround myself with oiks and be one myself

7yo (well, just turned 8) (girl) is pretty much OK - holds knife & fork properly, remembers napkin, doesn't talk with mouth full. Mouth more or less shut for chewing, needs reminder occasionally - not open enough to make unpleasant noises, anyway.

Now, 9yo (boy) could do MUCH better - keep having to remind him how to hold knife & fork (though he doesn't use his fingers, will say that), very very open-mouthed chewer, unfortunately. We have been working on this for a long time. At the bottom of some of it at least is his bad co-ordination - really! - he doesn't remember to breathe so runs out of air while chewing - hence the mouth. Reminders to breathe help .. it's funny to have to remind someone of that. The other thing that has helped is a pocket mirror so he can actually see when he's got his mouth open, because I don't think he can tell by feel. (Again, curious, but that's what we're dealing with.)

PS: eating pizza with your fingers is FINE, so long as you're not using both hands to pick off each scrap of topping & feed it sequentially into your mouth (like a crab).

My ds 7's manner s are awful. He sits, yes, but gets food in his hair, round his mouth and down his top, most nights. he smacks his lips. He tears the food with his fork rather than cutting with a knife.

BUT he eats everything I put in front of him with such enthusiam, and I am gradually through a process of constant nagging, trying to get him to smarten up.

Ds (6)'s table manners can vary quite spectacularly. He can be really good and he can be appalling (there are times when he can't sit still for more than 30 secs). Teacher tells me that he is quite good at school. .

Thanks for replies. Do you think the fact that she is left handed might have something to do with the problem she has cutting up food/using knife and fork.

dd is 7 and left handed but can manage a knife and fork although the fork is often wrong way round. Does she have any other fine motor difficulties (writing, threading, buttons etc)

pretty awful if I'm honest. And probably getting worse now that he is moving into the era of deliberate naughtiness.
We do try, honestly...

My dd is right handed but has to use a knife and fork in a left handed way (I would expect her to use fingers for pizza btw, and still occasionally help her cut up her food)

She still manages to stuff her mouth full of food and fidget and fiddle though

DS is 8, but 7 is far back enough for me to remember.

TBH I'd listen to your friend and MIL. One warning might be someone being a bit precious, two warnings means you need to sort it.

Pizzas never been finger food in our house and certainly not in a restaurant, surely?

DS1 who's 6 has awful manners. Eats with his mouth open, forgets his knife and fork and uses fingers, it goes on...

DS2 who's 4 is much better. We do really try with Ds1, we both have reasonable manners and we encourage good habits. Trouble is mealtimes would be a nightmare for all of us if we kept on at him constantly.

Pizza is finger food by the way

I don't think you should do anything more than maybe tell her that if she is eating out at someone else's house or with non-family members in a restaurant, she should copy the table manners of the people she is with (or maybe stick with her own, if they are actually better!!!). If her hosts want to be anal about how to eat pizza, then she should respect that and be anal, too... That is, assuming she can eat a pizza with a knife and fork - I'm not convinced that my son will be able to by the time he is 7, as he has low muscle tone and hypermobility so would find the effort of cutting up a pizza quite exhausting. I dread to think I'll have to explain this to people to stop them thinking he just has bad manners when he gives up on the knife and fork. And I do also think that 7 is possibly a little bit young to be passing judgment on your poor DD's table manners, as many children still have a bit of trouble co-ordinating knife and fork at that age, so hope it really was said light heartedly.

LADIES................

I HAVE 14 AND 15 YEAR OLD FEMALE SKIDS...

THEIR TABLE MANNERS ARE ATROCIOUS...
THEY EAT WITH MOUTHS OPEN AND FOR SOME BIZARRE REASON HICUP THROUGHOUT EVERY MEAL.

IT DRIVES ME INSANE!!!! I HAVE TRIED FOR OVER 10 YEARS TO SORT THIS OUT BUT IT HAS MADE NO DIFFERENCE....
I TRY NOT TO EAT WITH THEM AND LEAVE DH TO IT !!
IT'S EMBARASSING....

GOOD LUCK WITH SORTING YOUR LITTLE'UNS OUT...

Do they shout at the table?

Yep sometimes.........

burp and fart too.....

I am sure it's for my benefit!!!

Pizza is BEST with fingers, and although open mouthed chewing is yuck, perhaps your daughter was excited and talking with her mouthful as she was out with friends?

I was always made to sit up straight, hold my knife and fork properly, stay at the table until it was all gone, ask to get down... good in hindsight, but I hated mealtimes! I say encourage the good appetite, then fine tune the manners!

p.s. my two year old does a nice line in leaning to the side to fart when eating. I have to stifle my laughter so's not to encourage

p.p.s. Quattrocento...

My 6 year old DS's eating habits are gross - DH can rarely stay at the table for a full sitting to watch him, and wait for him to finish, oh the waiting - it can be excrutiating. I put it down to letting him experiment so much and going completely against my own mother's hyper clean and tidy nature. Kind of regret it now though......backfired on me......... I can identify with the comments. I kind of think though that once other kids start making comments about the mess he's in he'll smarten himself up - nothing we say seems to make a difference! Maybe it's just not up there on the grand scheme of what's important for your kid. Stick with finger food in public, that's my motto!

Piggy backing a bit, well a lot, but because your kids are similar ages and I can't find the right section to start a thread ......I'm trying to get some help with lying and how to deal with it - anyone with 6/7 year olds familiar with this? It's driving me and DH crazy - lying so blatently, mostly about non-important things that I'm seriously worried he's turning into an unlikeable child. We've tried the nice approach, the screaming about it, taking things away - what else? If you can help, please do I'd be evr so grateful!

Ds (8) has problems with his motor skills so finds it really difficult to hold knife and fork (hypermobility problems just like asteamedpoater's ds). Also finds it difficult to hold pen etc. He'll probably get a laptop at school but that doesn't solve the problem of his eating...

If anyone is having a problem with left handedness, then here is good.

To be honest I think that after two different people commenting I would be working on this. Our niece is almost five and has worse manners than our 2.5 year old, especially at the dinner table. The, "Ooo, but she's more spirited than your DD" doesn't cut it with me as I know full well that when she eats with just DD and I she is quite capable of sitting at the table until we have all finished and eating nicely.

Thanks for all your replies, it's reassuring to hear she isn't the only one without impeccable table manners . She has got a good appetite and will sit at the table nicely, it's just the way she eats I suppose. She still gets it all round her mouth, down her clothes. Her fine motor skills are good as far as I'm aware - her writing is beautiful, so don't think that is the problem.

When MIL eats with us the whole meal is ruined but her constant nagging of DD. I'm sure this has put me off sorting it out before. Fair enough, mention it, but to keep on and on and ruin it for everyone .

BTW DD has a twin sister who has lovely table manners, she doesn't seem to struggle with it all as much as the other one.

DH thinks I should tell DD what our neighbour said about their meal out. I disagree as I think it could dent her confidence and put her off wanting to go out without us. She's not a terribly confident child anyway, particularly when her sister isn't there - she was ill on Sat and didn't go.

My DSS2 (11) still has to be reminded to close his mouth, not eat with his fingers etc. His brother (13) is great at table, and has been fine for years - albeit this days slightly impaired by his recently-acquired braces. My DD is fine too but her table manners have not improved since starting to eat lunch in the school canteen four days a week since September.