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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

21mths DD nightwaking /cryings

59 replies

minkybetty · 03/11/2008 10:12

help my dd who used to sleep from 7pm - 7am has started waking in the night anywhere between 1.30am - 4.00am crying and screaming. we thought it could be teething but has now gone on (on and off) for about 1 month. Sometimes she sleeps sometimes she doesn't. She is inconsolable and so I have broken all the rules by bringing her into bed with me, though even then she doesn't always settle quickly but if I try putting her back in her cot she screams until she's almost sick. We have tried leaving her but then she becomes too distressed. Just don't know what to do - she is also eating really erratically at the moment and says no to just about everything though she never asks for food in the night... help very tiring particularly on the days I have to go to work

OP posts:

america · 04/11/2008 15:03

Looking this one with interest! DS1 is going through a similar phase (18 months) and I cannot get him to calm down.

He slept normally through again for about a week until last night when he woke up crying and really upset. I'm gutted as he didn't settle even on my arms but when DH told him sternly to stop crying and carried him into our bed, DS sniffed and mumbled something and went back to sleep.

Pinkjenny · 04/11/2008 15:05

Am in exactly the same boat with 18mo. Last night she was awake (and screaming) between 10.45pm and 1.30pm. At one point we were even watching Mr bloody Tumble.

Original poster

minkybetty · 04/11/2008 16:49

Well I sympathise with you guys as I am exhausted (Again) today and at work. Last night DD awoke at 12.30 and she hasn't done that since she was about 5mths old. Experts suggest just about every reason under the sun from over stimulation, over tired, nightmares, separation anxiety, teething arrrghgh.... Am sure we are doing it all wrong as DH went and slept in the same room as her last night - which she loved (Obviously). He thinks this is the answer and that he will slowly wean her back to bed -hhmmmmm not so sure..
Also, in response to your "guttedness" America, my DH always seems to settle her much quicker/easier than me so know how you feel!!
I have also done "night garden" at 4am
Anyway really enjoying being at work today as have had no toddler tantrums/meltdowns to deal with.....

OP posts:

sunshine17 · 04/11/2008 20:39

DD is 22 months old an doing exactly the same. We (DH) was up at 5am after an hour of trying to get her back to sleep this morning.

Feels better to know we aren't the only ones - it sometimes feels like every other toddler on the planet sleeps all night long except ours!

ang22 · 04/11/2008 20:57

mine is 2 and half and doing the same and as i have a newborn as well i have given in and brought her into our bed so now have both in our room. but at least i get some sleep even if its an extra hour than fighting to get her back to bed. she has slept 7 till 7 from 6 weeks old so bit of a shock. and yes PINKJENNY we have done mr tumble at four in the morning!!!

MrsWB · 04/11/2008 21:03

My DS is a little younger (19 months) but we have had a lot of this over the last couple of months. He has been waking in the night and crying, and not wanting to be left, and also not eating very well. I thought his back molars were coming as the gums looked swollen in that area but who knows? We broke all the rules and took him in with us too as we were so desperate to sleep, especially on a work night.

Hope you start getting some sleep soon.

Victoria72 · 05/11/2008 10:13

My DS 15 months is doing the same. His eating pattern is fine and he appears fit and healthy. I thought it might be his molars but am not so sure as once I pick him up and cuddle him, he stops crying immediately. Put him down and and leave the room and off he goes again.

He is WIDE AWAKE for about two hours. I have, like some of you, brought him into bed with us but he just kicks his legs up or smashes me or DH in the face or just lies there going "Ba, ba, ba, baaaa, ba!" And so on.

If anyone has any advice, besides a muzzle and sound proofing - please let me know!

Original poster

minkybetty · 05/11/2008 10:32

Spoke to friend whose DS did the same at this age - solution was to bring him in bed with them - now he is 3 and no probs and sleeps in proper bed, so maybe it's just a developmental stage?. DD awake at 12 last night so DH quickly snuck in and then slept with her in spare room - she slept from 12 until 7am - result - ok so now we have to deal with breaking the sleeping in adult bed problem but heh we're sleeping. Thanks all for making me feel normal
PS: Victoria 72, Thanks for advice, will definitely add muzzle and sound proofing to my list of "how to get back to sleep in the middle of the night" options (haha!)

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NicolaMumsnet · 05/11/2008 11:35

Hi my DS 21 months has been doing the same for the past month or so - wakes up and has the most terrible tantrums , screaming and it takes ages to calm him down. Last night at 1.30 he was laying on my bed watching the election saying 'mummy away' - am exhausted and frustrated as don't know what to do!

Pinkjenny · 05/11/2008 11:37

Dd slept in her own cot last night from 8.45pm (we went to a fireworks display) until midnight and then got in with us. She did sleep properly then, and we all got a good nights' sleep. I think part of the issue is that it's so unnerving as you're never quite sure what kind of night you're in for!

NicolaMumsnet · 05/11/2008 11:42

That's very true. We were all meant to be going to stay with relatives this weekend but DH is so stressed out by it that he has cancelled as the thought of DS screaming the house down for an hour at 3am is too much .. its sad though cos he is otherwise so lovely natured...I feel that we are missing out.

Pinkjenny · 05/11/2008 11:44

I completely understand. We went to stay with a fellow MNer in September, and I was pacing her kitchen with dd at 2am. It was awful and I felt like a right idiot.

I know what you mean though, we use to enjoy having friends over for dinner etc, but I just can't rely on dd staying asleep.

Jan2 · 05/11/2008 11:47

Same here!! DD is now 18 months. Was always a brilliant sleeper and then we had a bad period of teething and ear infection over the summer and her sleep has been a nightmare!

Things have settled down now - she will have one nap during the day in her cot and will go off to sleep at about 8pm in her cot but she wakes up crying EVERY night at varying times. We have been bringing her into our bed for the past couple of months!! - not ideal but she generally goes straight back off to sleep once in our bed so we all get some sleep. Hoping she'll grow out of it...glad to know we're not the only ones though!...

NicolaMumsnet · 05/11/2008 11:49

It's good too know we aren't the only ones
There is one tiny advantage - this morning we got a little bit of a lie in as DS was still snoozing at 7.30 - he must have worn himself out !!

NicolaMumsnet · 05/11/2008 11:49

It's good too know we aren't the only ones
There is one tiny advantage - this morning we got a little bit of a lie in as DS was still snoozing at 7.30 - he must have worn himself out !!

NicolaMumsnet · 05/11/2008 11:50

God you would think working for MN that I would know not to post a message twice! Duh!

Pinkjenny · 05/11/2008 11:50

Search for the silver lining eh? I am having to wake dd up to go to nursery/my mum's as she is still flat out after her evening/nighttime shenanigans. The only child in the field last night that was falling asleep at the fireworks display!

NicolaMumsnet · 05/11/2008 11:55

Ahh bless her - hope you get a good nights sleep tonight Pinkjenny

Original poster

minkybetty · 05/11/2008 15:16

Well sounds like we're all going through the same stuff. Just another case of one of those well kept secrets you don't find out about until you have children (there are alot of those aren't there!?). Isn't it amazing that given so many of our little ones are going through similar things, there isn't really that much advice you can get from the "experts" or the advice is so broad!!? Well I guess you just have to do what you can - anyway my rose tinted spectacles are well and truly off now so am prepared for anything tonight....!

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carocaro · 05/11/2008 16:21

I have no idea, my 22 month DS has NEVER SLEPT THROUGH up at least once. I say in complete despair.

Pinkjenny · 05/11/2008 16:22

Neither has mine carocaro.

Grrr.

cantpickyourfamily · 05/11/2008 18:06

I was about to start a similar thread to this one, my dd used to wake up every 1-3 hours at night but then I stopped bf and after a few nights started sleeping through the night.

Now she does this crazy screaming thing in the middle of the night usually around 1am.

There is nothing I can do to comfort her, I'm not sure if it is bad dreams or teeth or what it can be. She sleeps in my bed so not feeling lonely.

Also when she stays at exp's house she never does this. Maybe it is something they are doing to get at their mums.

I once told her in a very stern voice to CALM DOWN AND STOP ALL THE NOISE, and she soon stopped but I usually have to put in the night garden on which always works so far....

jellybelly25 · 05/11/2008 20:28

It's weird this, my 18mo dd2 is a very inconsistent sleeper and sometimes sleeps through, sometimes doesn't, usually wakes once. Recently been doing this screming blue murder at any hour, exactly the same happened at exactly the same age with dd1 8 years ago... Although last night she slept through 8-7 so who bloody knows.

At least yours LIKE being in your bed - dd2 just stands up and stamps all over us or runs onto the landing so it's not even like we have a 'last option!' we just go in, put the dummy in, say shh shh, perhaps give a hug if very upset, lie her down, tuck her in, leave. And repeat an unlimited number of times depending on t he phase of the moon, or the exact temperature and air pressure of the room, or whatever.

She did go through a phase of somehow managing to get me lying on the floor with my hand in the cot on her pillow so she could lay her face on my hand and sleep like that but luckily for my arm that phase has passed.

LuLuBai · 05/11/2008 20:34

My DD (19 months) is doing the same thing - wildly erratic eating and sleeping habits. Waking up some night shrieking as if she is being haunted (in states of sleep deprivation I have even wondered if her room is actually haunted). I have given up on settling her in her room. I just sleepwalk back to bed with her and she generally settles OK. But the other night she refused to go to sleep in her cot and after 2 hours battling I just hauled her into our room and went to bed myself (DH was away) and she woke screaming every 2 hours even though I was right there next to her.

It is enormously comforting and reassuring to know that others are suffering the same thing. If I find a 'cure' I will be sure to come back and let you know.

Pinkjenny · 06/11/2008 09:11

I think we should keep this thread going, as a support group of our 'crazy nightwakers'. Dd slept OK last night, we did have a number of crying episodes and a lot of shuffling, but we didn't have to resort to Mr. Tumble.

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