Hi honey, it's such a worry if we start to think there is a problem with our kids isn't it?
Being a parent is tough enough but even harder when your child is behaving in a demanding and difficult way. This may be something and nothing, a phase he will simply grow out of or a sign that he is struggling a bit.
But don't panic, ask many parents and their children have gone through a period of strange behaviour than went as soon as it came! But if you've got a hunch that it might be a little more than that just follow your instincts and start asking a few questions.
I do think it's a great idea to get professionals on board, see what advice you can get and find out if he has any difficulties at school that need addressing. Do be aware that they don't all know what they are talking about - my son has had some 'interesting' assessments that had I not been a childcare professional myself I would have taken as gospel! Keep an open mind.
One piece of interesting advice, a psychologist once advised me never to get an official diagnosis or label Ds with a particular condition. Her theory was it would have implications for his whole life and that diagnosis at a young age were often way off mark and changed as the children grew up, yet child was left with a diagnosed condition on medical notes for life. Not sure if she was right but it's an interesting view point.
My eldest son sounds similar to your little boy at this age. I'm not saying your son is identical to mine and I may be way off here but maybe our experience may be of interest to you.
I too asked teachers and doctors what was going on when Ds seemed to get stressed over many seemingly innocuous events and struggled to form relationships with his peers. He has been seen and assessed many times without a definitive answer. It has been suggested that Ds is on the high level of the autistic continuum or has a semantic pragmatic disorder or none of the above! I've finally decide that he is just him - a one off!
What is apparent is that Ds falls into a category of people who find social skills difficult, which can make them feel quite anxious (and cranky!). This anxiety sometimes comes out in a need to control certain things in their lives to give them a sense of security. Severity in children can vary from complete life consuming lists of daily rituals to just a few little strange 'quirks' (plus a whole lot of tantrums!)
As my son has grown older, now 9, he has grown out of his behaviours, regressing occasionally if tired or ill, and has learnt his own coping strategies - I'm so proud of him! School has been great, every teacher has made a special effort to make sure he is coping, with imaginative ideas and lots of compassion.
He is a bright boy, extremely able academically but he just hasn't got great social skills. He finds it hard to make friendships at school, though is a popular classmate, he just tends to keep himself to himself. At home he has made some good friendships in our road, plays well with cousins and he and his little brother are fabulous friends (and enemies!)He is kind, funny and generous yet hates to lose with such passion and so wants to be in charge that games can be pretty traumatic! He finds loud noise, very busy games etc. overwhelming, almost like it is just too much stimulation. He can be cranky and hard work, sometimes he (and we) have a bad day or two. Yet most of the time everything is great and he is very happy, some of my friends who didn't know him when he was younger fail to see he has any difficulties at all and are suprised when I talk about it.
It's easy to say don't worry but even if there are some issues for your son, the future is not bleak. Just take this as a chance to understand him more, where he is coming from and find the ways to help him find his feet in this mad world!
I wish you and your family well x