any conformists trying to cope with non-conformist dc's? HELP

[deaconblue]

I've always been pretty conformist. Even as a child apparently I almost always did what I was asked and even now I seem to choose to do the "right" or expected thing. ds is soooooooooo non-comformist and I struggle to cope with him refusing to do what's expected. He is only 2 so obviously lots of this is his very 2ness.
eg we go to a toddler group thing where there is free play (he loves this bit) followed by group singing (lays on the floor, runs round like a loon, hides under the table, strops). I feel I should be able to accept that he just doesn't enjoy the singing bit but keep thinking to myself "why can't he be like all the other children?"
so how does a conformist get to grips with a non-conformist child?

you were probably exaclty the same at 2 though
conformity comes later

hehe, no 2 yr old is a "conformist".
he's totally normal, don't worry

Nobody is a conformist or not at 2 yrs old!

We have the opposite in our house, I am the non conformist and my Ds 5 is a total conformist!! He is always telling me that " i have to stick to the rules and do as people say" etc. I have not raised him this way and activly encourage him not to be, but it seems wasted on him! he doesn't want self expression, confidence and freedom, He wants to be................

A bloody sheep!

sounds like he's conforming perfectly to standard two year old behaviour to me!!
Could you be over-thinking this??

but the other blardy children sing ring a roses and hold farking hands. Ds rolls around under the table! Am sick of docile Alfie's mother looking at me with pity grrrrrrrr

I do overthink everything so probably, yes.

btw I don't particluarly want him to be conformist, was just trying to think how to get less wound up by it

Celebrate it!!

sounds normal, a lot of the toddlers don't sit and sing in the baby groups we go to. My ds never wants to sit still and join in the singing but he's only 14 months. i just tend to leave before this bit so he doesn't spoil it for those who do enjoy it. It's not a problem, it's just some kids enjoy different things to others. A lot of them wont sit down at the table for snack time either, they just charge about!

this is what I mean about hte whole conformist thing. My friend asked me the other day why I don't leave when the singing starts. I honestly hadn't considered it as a possibility because everybody else always stays. Doh!

No one conforms at 2-they are very egocentric at that age! It will probably come when they interact with others and are bothered by what people think.

I can relate to this. My dd is mostly like me and a rule follower. I always know she will stick to the limits I set (so far!). ds, on the other hand, couldn't be more different. He marches to the beat of his own tune.

I'm trying to just accept it (he's now 5) but it is weird to look at him and think "you are just nothing like me, I have no idea what goes on in your head". We also can;t give him as much responsibility as dd had at the same age because you never know what he might do. You may find your son is a more creative type - at the moment my ds begs for all the empty toilet rolls and cereal boxes for making his "inventions".

I love the idea of him being an inventor type - he has crazy Albert Einstein hair so that would fit well. You sum up exactly how I feel with the "I have no idea what goes on in your head" comment.

Hey, my little boy ESCAPES! And not in the way the other few do, oh no... he's sneaky and waits till people either aren't watching, are distracted or better yet, they open the door to take another child out to change and he slips on out and legs it hahaha.

Apparently he's a nightmare for the staff because he's into everything, climbs the bookshelf (I arrived to pick him up one day to find him ON TOP of the bookshelf, apparently he wasn't up there when the staff heard me open the door and turned around to see)

I think it's amusing, it shows he's his own person right?

I think my little boy would roll about on the floor as well, lol.

You can't really decide your kid's personality, heh.. all you can do is try to impose rules and you know, appropriate behaviour. So long as he isn't totally disruptive is it really a problem? Just take him out at that point, it's probably less stressful for you.

No you certainly cannot decide your kids' personalities! I struggle to accept my ds on a daily basis. He is hard work compared with the 2 dds. Another example from today....we are on holiday at the mo and went to the pool. The dds did all the expected swimming, jumping in, playing with inflatables etc, but none of this for ds. I don't think he even went fully into the water. He spent most of the time playing with a teaspoon he found on one ot the tables, scooping bits of water out of he pool and depositing them in various places. Even though I'm thinking "why bother bringing him to the pool?" I have learnt to accept his enjoyment of it on his own level, if he's not being disruptive like you said. He does sometimes do weird clowning around stuff which can freak quieter kids out though!