How much attention does your lo 'need'

[Josie3]

My 3.10 year old can play on her own - but still needs an awful lot of interaction most of the time. If i ask her to play by herself she often finds the first toy and then sits down on the spot and does nothing. She also actively seeks alot of attention by asking questions, or trying to include me in all her games.

I need to point out that i really don't mind this, and i can see that she's very social and needing that time. I just want to see if others have the same experience. If not - what has helped your dc to be more independant iyo and if so what strategies do you use when you really really need time to yourself/to do something.

TIA xx

does she go to playgroup or preschool? that might help encourage an independent streak. Mine knkw to get on with it themselves when I'm doing something else and I say 'i'm busy'. making dinner etc

dd is just over 4 and needs very little attention at home and has been that way for some time. She is in her own world at home playing with cars, dolls house, dressing up etc.

Outside, particularly if other kids are there, she needs a fair bit of attention at times - sort of easing her into playing with others or helping her do stuff. But I suspect this is different to what you are talking about.

I am not sure what has made dd so independent at home - I suspect it is necessity as she is an only child. She does love someone to play with but doesn't seem to 'need' it, iyswim.

there was another thread on this some time ago - I will see if I can dig it up for you.

constant. But then she can't play on her own as she can't hold anything.
ppreschool was nice cos she could sit watching other kids.

i think it varies a lot from child to child. some kidsa re happy to play by themselves, others need and crave input from someone- that isn't a bad thing, and it doesn't mean that they are lacking in any way.
they just enjoy company and want to be with other people.

I think that you're doing the right thing by just being there when she wants you to. knowing that you're always there for her will make her very secure and happy in herself, and ergo independent.

and I think that ALL 3/4 year olds ask lots and lots of questions and want to include everyone around in their games!

Dd was very attention-seeking at this age. She has grown into an independent older child. But it was hard work. Both my dc's talked far too much

ok, this is the thread I was thinking of. It relates to a younger child but I think there might still be some helpful ideas in it.

It's reassurance and confidence she's looking for. You give her both when you sit and play with her - you are helping her to do things and giving her the confidence that goes along with that.

Asking questions is good - how else is she meant to learn? Her mind is going nineteen to the dozen, and she is soaking up information like a sponge. You're providing that information when you answer her questions - this is how she learns.

Thanks for all the positive feedback and help . It's nice to know this is normal, and i'm not 'damaging' her in any way by giving her this attention. I've had some very unhelpful comments of late stating that i'm depriving her of a chance to learn independance, and that i'm somehow inhibiting her development by pandering to her! Gits.

oh - and WWB, thanks for taking the time to find that other thread! Was very helpful x

I think it varies from child to child, and from day to day, and whether they are being looked after by MUMMYMUMMYMUMMY or Granny (when they 'read' a book all afternoon )