3yr old hits/scratches herself when told off.

[acacia]

My bright, imaginative 3 yr old dd has started acting very weird when anyone tells her off - even a very minor ticking off - ie 'No dont do that'
She goes away to sulk in corner of room/under table and then often hits herself on head or bottom or scrathes her arms.
We do not hit her and as far as Im aware no other adult has done either (she is in nursery 3 days a week)
Even when she doesnt do this self harming type thing she bursts into tears and then sobs either 'I need a hug' 'My nose is snotty' or 'I need a wee' - all of which i realise are meant to get my immediate response and action. I have a 1 yr old too so cant always drop everything and give her a hug etc. She gets lots of hugs at home and we always reinforce that we love her. She loves her brother and they play well together (well as well as you would expect!)

Should any alarm bells be ringing?
I cant stop telling her 'no' and i feel she needs to know the boundaries. I also cant constantly be giving her hugs after ive told her to stop doing something as i feel it sends out a mixed message.

sounds like shes just a sensitive soul i was like this always cried if someone said no or slightest telling off

my sis used to headbutt floors we are sensitive characters and did grow out of it best to ignore its probably to get a reaction but to react then takes away the telling off

maybe when all has calmed down you can have a moment of you time and say that scratching and hitting herself is not nice and see if you can ask why she does it

try and distract her from it if possible

if not ignore she will probably stop when sees its not getting a reaction as i say we did grow out of it

To be honest it sounds like classic attention-seeking/controlling behaviour to me (as in: mum is cross w. me and I want it to stop so if I do this/say I need a wee etc I can take back control of the situation).

Sorry, that sounds a bit harsh. What I mean is, I think it is perfectly normal. Your daughter has just found a particularly successful way of diverting attention from her bad behaviour - you did say she was bright.

I suggest you ignore her, in fact leave the room if she starts this so she has no audience. You decide when she is ready for a cuddle (w. ds it is when he has said sorry).

Thanks for this. Spent day with another 3yo who didnt hit her self but always seemed to get'clumsy' and bump her knee when she was told off! oh well....