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How to help DS break the cycle of being provoked/anger/getting wound up/hitting out .....

6 replies

Jodee · 22/10/2008 11:03

I know I am not alone in this - DS (8.5) finds it really hard to 'walk away' from annoying situations at school. EG, I was waiting for him after school yesterday, most parents had left, I was talking to one Mum. DS came out, happy, talking with a friend, who left immediately. Boy2, son of other Mum ,and boy no.3 were playing 'IT', they saw my DS and tagged him, saying he was 'IT'. He hadn't wanted to play, apparently, but instead of walking off, he punched boy3 in the stomach, then boy2 was goading him, saying 'go on, hit me! (which DS would have quite easily done if I hadn't intervened). I don't need these embarrassing situations after school.

This sort of thing will happen a lot in class, in playtime, if someone winds him up, pulls his jumper, etc.

He has lots of friends, and on the other hand is very kind (I felt very proud of him last week as DS had been on a residential trip and a parent came up to me and said how kind DS had been helping his disabled son on the trip).

We don't have problems at home, he doesn't swear or is violent towards us, I just need to give him strategies to help him at school (Ive tried suggestions of counting to 10, trying to make a joke/laugh it off). He used to have quite a severe speech and lang delay, perhaps he still finds it hard to vocalise his feelings/come up with a quick retort, I don't know.

Sorry for waffle, any ideas gratefully received!

OP posts:
Jodee · 22/10/2008 12:25

anyone??

OP posts:
FattipuffsandThinnifers · 22/10/2008 14:56

Sorry, I can't offer any advice as my DC is much, much younger, but bumping for you.

Jodee · 22/10/2008 17:02

thank you - like that name btw! any takers!!

OP posts:
alardi · 22/10/2008 19:28

I have a hot-headed nearly 9yo DS.
Do you think they just start to get hormonal about this age? DS is extremely annoying just lately...

fridayatlast · 23/10/2008 12:56

No advice I'm afraid but bumping as I'd be interested in opinions of others. My DS (nearly 7) is very similar. Emotional and highly sensitive.

It can be the smallest thing that sets him off, usually teasing from one of his mates at school. I used to get impatient with him for it but now he gets so upset and distraught that I feel sorry for him.

It's like he is physically unable to control his emotional reaction, it comes out as noise (a lot of wailing!), tears, temper and anguish. I'd really like to help him.

We've also tried the counting to 10, walking away etc but it doesn't work all the time.

fridayatlast · 23/10/2008 12:59

I must add that he is lovely in every other way. Popular at school and lovely at home. He's generally well behaved, cuddly although has an awful lot of energy!

He just won't be teased, and the knee-jerk reaction if he is is devastating!

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