Friend now desperate over her childs behaviour, any suggestions or advice please?

[deanychip]

The child is 7, has the most awful anxiety/panic attacks where she pulls her own hair out, is almost completely unable to sleep probably 5 nights out of 7 and its all over school (and other stuff at times).

She is negative by nature and extremely bright.

They have had child psychologist to see her, who says that parents do not spend enough time with her (they both work but are home every eve and weekend and do lots as a family)Btw, these are lovely lovely peolpe who dote on their 2 kids.

School say she is absolutely fine although is very tired most of the time.
Have you come across this before and what do you think the answer is?

think inviting friends back a very good idea if parents not already doing this. It helps to bridge the gap between school and home imo, and I think this is important for sensitive children. No, you can't make them best friends - but it might happen! And if you invite a few that she clearly gets on with it may build into a stronger friendship.

Thinking about it, I don't think I had one best friend at primary school (although I did have two best friends who were sisters). And I have seen plenty of other comments by people on this site who claim to have been friendless through primary school but then to have found real friendship at secondary school.

Just a little click required! - just that feeling of oh, today when we paired up for PE xx chose ME ME ME.

I think it is especially bad amongst little girls who tend to sit and whisper, gossip together, share things, swap pencil cases - all that stuff which works in twos.

i do see now how mad it sounds, but i can also at the grand age of 34 still remember vividly so so many little examples of where i felt left out and alone because I didn't have a best friend. After all these years i can honestly remember how horrible it was.

And another thing re the lovely parents, after a while i started to feel guilty that they were so great and wonderful, and wasn't i silly for feeling so sad, and then i felt under pressure not to be sad so i wouldn't worry them.

So, perhaps what is needed is when parents are doing the nice things, maybe having a nice day out, to invite someone from school along too so that the little one then goes back to school with a shared experience just between her and that other girl.

ah flocci, you star! that is a lovely suggestion about taking a friend along with them to share the experience, i shall tell my friend of your experiences if you dont mind, just because what you describe sounds spot on for the little girl and actually what you say makes absolute sense, it all fits!
We have been puzzling this for about a year now, phsyciactric people couldnt help, school cant help. maybe we have been thinking too deeply and not looking at the simple stuff that is important to a little girl!

you wonderful lady you!!!

also thanks harpo, what you say makes sense too. x

I really hope it leads to a positive change deanychip - would feel really happy if that were the case

Ah Deanychip, you sound so lovely. If only you had been at my school

Give your friend lots of hugs and support - it must be the most enormous strain for her.

( And let us know if anything changes )

she is moth eaten.
my friend is the lovely one, she is a lovely mum, and a brilliant friend.
i just want to help her and her little one.

deanychip on Tue 21-Oct-08 20:15:04
"hm easier said than done when you are exhausted."

Don't I know it after 11 years!!! (and don't imagine I can always do it)

"how did you get the cbt cory?"

Got our GP to refer her. On the NHS.