Aaaaargh! Mealtime fidgets....

[Othersideofthechannel]

DS is 5.6 and has always been a reeeeally slow eater.

We always have dessert in our house and until now if everyone had finished except one person, we would wait 5 minutes, then have dessert. This rule developed because we couldn't expect DD to sit still for 20 minutes while DS finished main course.

DS must be having a growth spurt at the moment because he has suddenly started finishing before DD (nearly 4). He sits ok and has reasonably sensible conversations while eating. But when he has finished he bothers his sister by kicking her chair under the table, making loud noises which she is scared of. The other thing he does is make silly noises or say things like 'poo poo' which make her laugh. Either way she stops eating.

Tonight I threatened to end his meal if he didn't stop bothering her. I don't really like using threats.

How do you keep your 5 yr olds patient at the table? Or am I expecting too much and should I just let him have dessert straight away?

this is such a tricky one
I have a 4.5 and a 2.1 yr old
my youngest takes an age to eat anythign while my eldest wolfs it down
going completely against what y parents tauht me I allow him to get down when he's finished. I usually give him pudding as soon as he's finished but give hers at the same time, she eats both courses together, so bit of toast, spoonful of yoghurt
as soon as he's finshed I let him get down becase it is soooooooooooo boring waiting for her to finish

Bump - I know it's boring but any other ideas?

Looks like I'll be giving him his dessert straight away then.

Or maybe play some of those games that you play in the car on long journeys....

OMG this sounds just like DS1 (6), he is a really fast eater though. His brother (4) however is 'the' slowest eater on the planet.

We used to have the 'everyone sits and waits until the last person finishes' rule, but seriously, waiting another half an hour for DS2 is a bit too much to expect and if we make him wait too long we get DS1 doing all the things you say, poo-poo, silly noises and faces at DS2 that upset him etc etc.

Obviously we don't stand for this behaviour but have to bear in mind that sitting and waiting that long is hard for a 6yr old.

Since they both started school dinners, we have stopped all evening desserts as they get one at lunch time. (That said DS2 never gets to eat his as he's always last to finish in the dining hall as well and runs out of time!) So, DS1 now has to sit nicely for a couple of minutes, then ask politely if he can get down from the table and stack his own dishes by the sink.

We still have a dessert on Sundays, but as its only once a week we find it easier to engage DS1 in conversation and he tends to be better behaved anyway as he is not tired like he is after a school day.

Unfortunately, both boys want to go back onto sandwiches after half term. I think the only thing I can do then is to put a small of homebaked treat in each lunch box so that we can carry on with the same rule.

Moosemama I hadn't realised it until your post but it is only a problem in the evenings. He can sit and chat for 5 mins at lunchtime.

I think I will give dessert straight away in the evenings and ask him to wait at lunchtime so he doesn't forget that this is what is to be desired.

i have a 2 &5 year old. The 5 year old will eat most things exept meat that needs alot of chewing and 3 veg that she dislikes. But my 2 year old is a nightmare she only eats breakfast properly, she'd rather snack between meals i'v tryed healthy snacks and not givig into snacking but she is so stubborn and screams all day and still wont eat her meals. we have tryed giving reward for eatig meals but only seems to mannage breakfast treats.

if you are thinking of breaking a rule -maybe you could do it the other way around - let the quicker one play for a bit and come to the table later - and make them wait a little less?

I would let him down for a bit then give him a shout for pudding, especially if he is eating well and behaving at first, the little one might not keep eating main course if 5yrold is on pudding. Mealtimes can be relaxed and a nice time for all without decending into chaos.

Thanks everyone.

It isn't usually a problem for the slower one to still be on main course while the rest of us are on dessert. If anything it motivates them to finish/eat a reasonable amount!

Hmm, I have been wrestling with this problem recently - if DD1 (5.5) has finished, do I make her stay at the table until DD2 (18m) has finished too? If I let her get down, DD2 then shouts to get down, or if I let her start pudding, of course DD2 then wants pudding too. I am trying for now to be flexible and if DD2 has nearly finished, DD1 stays at the table and tells us about her day, but if DD2 is being slow, DD1 can get down for a bit and come back, and we try to distract DD2.

I have this issue too, DS1 6 and DS2 21 months, more often than not DS2 is happy to till eat when DS2 has left the table, it's easier for him to leave as otherwise he starts to bug DS2. I am sure we will all sit down together one day and eat a meal at the same time, in peace, quietly, with no food on the floor etc etc!

Well things are a bit better since we have stopped asking DS to wait in the evenings.

Now we have an issue with them perching one buttock on the chair and having their weight on the other leg on the floor. I try not to be forever pulling them up on their table manners but this is one that really winds me up. I would sooooo like to get through a meal without saying 'back on your chair to eat please'.