3 moth old not sleeping

[green77]

I am having some problems with my 3 month old, she will not nap in the day and we cannot get her to go down to sleep in the evening before we go to bed, when we finally get her to sleep she will through until 5ish. My real problem is in the day time and going to bed at baby bed time ie 7.30. She will sleep in her swing but only for 20mins or so, and I don't like to leave her swinging away for too long. No matter how sleepy she is as soon as she touches the mattress she is awake and crying - really screaming. We tried controlled crying - she gets so worked up. Any suggestions?? My husband and I really want to reclaim our evenings.

Would she nap in a sling? My dd falls asleep (with much cheerful resistance - a sort of singing/growling to herself!) in mine - I have 2 Moby wraps. They're a total godsend. And it is certainly the case for us that sleep breeds sleep - once she falls asleep...

/hijack

feelingbitbetter - oh my god: how chuffing gorgeous is your wee boy? What a fab smile! [melt]

end hijack/

Tuna... I too have had 2 great little feeders/sleepers. It does happen doesn't it?

At 3 months both mine (5 yrs apart) were feeding at 6.30pm, dream feed at 10.30pm and sleeping until 7am.

Why is it, that we must be lying??? It does happen.

I found the key to settling well at bedtime was a good, regular routine followed by shh/pat once dc went down awake. I found that if dc was tired at 7pm, well fed and winded then lifting them out for cuddles didn't work. Shh/pat (baby whisperer) worked well for me.

I accept that every baby is different, but why is it if you have a baby who sleeps well from an early age it's a must that we must be "talking shite"?

well both mine didnt wake up for feeds and from advice from hv i didnt wake them.
thats another story about the benifits of bf.I am not entirely convinced.
my dd didnt latch for many days and was in the end very very hungry crying etc. and i had no choice to bootle feed her. ds i didnt bf. yes routine great even now years later. both dc have good nights sleep.
I see lots of kids in school who are sleep deprived no bedtime routine ever in place). It starts from when they are babies.

barnsley, how true...

Ah bollox, ds1 is 8 and sleeps like a dream and ds2 is now sleeping longer and at times goes for a good stretch. But i do not think that a child sleeping through or a child who wakes amkes you a better or worse parent. But when you are a ftp and you have a gorup of mums all saying how their little angels sleep through it can really knock confidence and is often not true. Granted it happens occasioanlly but not generally. Also why why why should the baby sleep through? What makes that better?

Ah feck it for tonight i need my sleep as my little angel might wake (shock!) and i might have to bresat feed him (shock shock) and omg he is 9 months old (shock shock shock!)

I don't think that EVERYONE is talking shite,good for you if your dc's slept well,in fact ds was a dream but I got my smug mummy come-uppance when I had dd who was a total nightmare(and I did the same with both re trying to establish routine etc),I DO think there is tremendous pressure put on new mums that their baby will do this and that at x weeks/months when the reality is we are all individual and no 2 babies are the same!

I think, if you post as you are beside yourself tired then it's actually helpful to hear that it can happen.

Why is that that the op only wants to hear that yes, this is the way it is and tough. Surely it's positive to hear that it can be achieved.

Buttonmeup... in response to " why should the baby sleep through. Why is that better". I have not said it is better... I am merely responding to the fact that someone said that posters who say their babies sleep are "talking shite". Surely i am able to respond to that comment?

Of course it is positive that it can be achieved,its lovely

BUT

I remember being oh so smug at ds sleeping and wondering how on earth so many people struggled with getting into a routine,then had dd who was reflux nightmare from hell baby and eating my words and my hat!

I think the worst thing you can say to a mum who has a poor sleeper is "Well mine slept from 6 weeks"or whatever!

Its kicking someone when they are down and struggling.

Reality is not all babies sleep!(BITTER EXPERIENCE EMOTICON)

fango, I kow, lots mums at playgroup dont have dc who sleep thro.ave bedtime ro 1/2/3 years. lots of those kids are stil dont have bedtime routines. house mad, running around/downstairs playing 9/10pm etc.
my own niece is one of them. she is such a narky girl because she is sleep deprived. she can be sweet also.

thease laptops just dont work as good as pc's. sorry...

Fangolina.... I have had 2 dcs and never a sleep problem, apart from when sick.
2nd dc was severe gastric reflux (which needed surgery) plus cows protein allergy.

I am not smug... And as i have said, i was merely responding to a poster who said that mums who say their young babies sleep are "talking shite".

I also still believe that if you are struggling with any situation, enough to post, it is helpful to hear positive stories too.

Don't get me wrong,am a great believer in routine,ds slept through from 4 months,but with dd it was 13 months,both ex.bf.With dd it was because she had terrible reflux,and later dx with SN.I have always done a bath/milk/story routine.Bed is 7pm.Nowt worse than an overtired little one.

Some just take a bit longer than others

Barnsley,wasn't suggesting you were,just myself after ds!

Some babies don't sleep though!If you've never had a bad sleeper count your lucky stars!

Sleep deprivation is TRULY awful!

Fango.... I do know how lucky i am, and have been.. I count my blessings every day.

I'm pleased you don't see me as smug as that is not the way i hope to be.
I do have quite "old fashioned" parenting skills and accept that my ways don't work for all.

hmm I am one of Greens anti-natal group and what she is trying to do is not get advice on how to get her LO to sleep 7-7 which some of the posters seem to think but just getting her to start her nightime at 7:30ish. The other babies in the group do start their sleep routine between 7-8pm, we know that no-one is 'lying' or 'exagerating' or has 'selective hearing' because we meet up in the evening and put all the babies in the same room to sleep whereas Greens party animal LO stays awake with the grown-ups. However none of the babies regularly sleep thru the night and we haven't claimed they do, after 10pm it's anyones guess how many times they are going to wake up (and I have regularly expressed jealousy that Greens LO sleeps 11-5, mine is still wanting feeding 2-3 times greedy soandso.) but they do sleep between 7ish and 10ish and I think this is what(if possible) Green would like her LO to start thinking about. Green is not doing this purely for adult time, there is a difference between a baby up after 7pm who is happy and smiley and sitting quietly on knees and one who looks tired, needs constant movement and is a little grizzly. This is why Green would like some advice on how to settle her LO and I told her this would be the place to come, what I didn't tell her was to be prepared that her thread might descend into an argument nothing to do with the original OP.

Also, OI! Green you are not failing *beats Green around the head for thinking she is. Your LO is gorgeous and loved.

Hello! My only words wisdom re. this are from my experience. My son was a dream to settle, and went down fine from 7pm-1am. Then rest of the night was a total disaster up until 6.5 months, when he settled down. Before that he could be up every 1-2 hours.

All I'm saying is - if yours is sleeping from 11ish until 5am I'd go with that until she is a little older. At this stage your baby is only going to have one long 'stretch' of sleep, and from my experience I'd much rather it be between 11pm and 5am than between 7pm and midnight. I know it's hard to contemplate at the moment, but I bet in less than 3 months she will be ready for a much longer stretch of sleep, and you can then bring bedtime forward.

libra - what a great post. spot on.

i also have 3mo and i am lucky - she sleeps in the evening and has gone through the night for the last 2 nights (woo!)(shame i still wake up at 4am... d'oh).

however, she just doesn't nap during the day for more than 40mins, so i think you get some things "working", but can never have everything perfect with a little baby (as camgirl pointed out)!

green - i don't think you're being selfish to want some time to yourself to recharge and want less stressful evenings.

i don't know if it'll help, but dd was very grizzly all evening until i started taking her into a warm bath with me at 6pm for half an hour (works so much better than baby bath) and we have a very set routine of bath, feed, swaddle, white noise, low lights and rocking chair til she's very sleepy when we put her down in her cot. she now takes these as "cues" that she's allowed to sleep and goes out like a light. also, we have to put her in her nursery 7pm-10.30pm otherwise the tv, lights, chat etc keep her awake. we move her to moses basket after her late feed.

if we're not at home and don't do the routine then she just won't sleep, she fights it because she's so interested in what's going on around her and gets upset. it means we can't really go out in the evening, but i go to bed by 9pm anyway - i'm knackered!!

we have never had to do any sort of cc, i think extra cuddles work better for us.

i've no idea if we're setting ourselves up for problems later on with sleep props, but it keeps us sane and dd happy.

good luck

PS. re. daytime naps - now she goes down well in the evening, i use the same props and routine (except feed and bath!) to get her to nap and it's starting to work.

i do sympathise - at one point she was sleeping less than 10 hours a day and she was exhausted. we're up to about 14 hours in total now which is still WAY less than most of the babies in my NCT group.