How can I make halloween fun for my daughter without causing offence to my husbands family ??

[mummyloveslucy]

My daughter is 3.5 and I'd really like to dress her up for halloween and do some fun things with her, like calving a pumpkin etc.
My husbands family are christians and don't agree with halloween at all. They think it should be banned. I don't really agree with the idea of it either to be honest, but have very fond memories of dressing up and making spooky cakes etc.
They do like a bit of fun though, and would love to spend time with my daughter doing somthing nice together.
I don't want to just dress her up at home, as there's no point. She absoluitly loves any sort of little party, but Grandma has to be invited.
Do you have any ideas, or should I just treat it as a normal day ?

It slightly irritates me how Christians feel the need to take over non-Christian festivals and try to make them their own. Have the conviction to either do it, or not.

AIBU?

No you're not pointy, it's a good point. I would like to go ahead and do it, but don't want to cause offence.

It might even be just the trick or treating they object too. If so, then there's no problem. I'll try to find out.

We do two things (because I'm a Christian):

make it into a festival of remembrance, which mainly means running through our dead grandparents and telling their favourite jokes, playing their games etc- it's a very happy way of remembering them

have a harvest festival in the kitchen, with veggie crisps and a selection of English apples, popcorn popping. And a pumpkin.

We're Pagans and don't have Halloween either . We celebrate Samhain, a time for remembering those who have passed, and making plans for the year ahead. My boy doesn't have any of the christian festivals because we are not christians. We celebrate our own festivals and he gets a small present at each one. His grandparents give him christmas presents in addition to this as we felt it would be mean to stop them, and his birthday falls the week after our other main festival at the Summer Solstice so he gets lots then too.

I try to make sure we have an outing somewhere nice and DH takes days off for our festivals and goes into work on the usual bank holidays as his company are quite progressive. We also have a big feast or picnic or whatever. As he gets older we'll do other activities pertinent to each festival.

I don't think he's missing out on anything at all. IMO the christian festivals have become homogenised and secularised into huge commercial excuses to overindulge. That would annoy me if I was a practising christian.

Pointy, how does Halloween (hallow evening) get its name if it is not to do with the Christian festival of All Hallows (all departed souls)?

In Medieval Europe (and in modern Catholic Europe) there are a number of saints days for specific, named dead people, and then there is Halloween for all the rest of them.
In most of Europe, this was until very recently about remembering the dead, putting candles on graves, that sort of thing, an old Christian tradition that goes way back before the current commercial pumpkin-and-skeletal-outfit.

Even in most of the UK, current traditions only go back a few generations. (though an older tradition exists in the Celtic parts where it does seem to merge with Samhain, and in Mexico where it merged with the cult of the dead).

Wouldn't try to influence anyone to stop doing Halloween any way they like, but at least in southern England a more traditional approach is not a case of Christians nicking somebody else's feast, just holding on to one of their own.

Snippety- You're right about the main christian festivals becoming too commercial and an exuse to over indulge. It is quite sad.
You are lucky in that respect, you can make your festivals calm, spiritual and what ever you feel is right for your familly.
I love the idea of a lovely calm christmas, with just a few pressies but the main focus being on spending time as a family, enjoying each others company.
It is usually a huge mass of unwrapping present after present, loads of chaos and noise. The children then spend the rest of the day thith their noses in their DS's.
Not my daughter, she's only 3.

erm- MLL- you can make your celebrations like that too, you know!
I am atheist, but christmas is still about the birth of Jesus Christ in our house, and a time for reflection, and family- not overcommercialised tat.

mll - find a few friends of your on who have children - one or two will be enough - and have a little halloween tea party - don't go overboard on halloween plastic tat from the supermarket, but do apple bobbing (very shallow water, f 3 yos!), have a carved pumpkin and let them dress as witches if they want. And don't invite your ILs.

Why they should be offended at what you do in your own home that doesn't harm them, I know not!

Yes I know eachpeach but we always go to my MIL's for christmas.
She has everyone at hers, and we spend the day with all the family. My Mum lives in NZ, so for the last 10 years we've gone to MIL's. Once we had the family around to ours for christmas, but that was a bigger house.
I do like spending christmas with my husbands family, but I'd like to do it our way sometimes.
Last year we said we'd have christmas morning at home, then come down for dinner.
We were really looking forward to it, but by 9am my MIL phoned to say she needed us there asap to help with the preperations.
Which is only fair, as we were going to have dinner with her.

Blu- I have only one friend with children. She has two girls of 2 and 4. My daughter loves the 2 year old and they play well together. I could envite them to a little party at ours.