Need help please I am going insane here

[NeedsomehelpbeforeIgomad]

Hi I am at the end of my tether re: my 10 yr old son.

A bit of history, I split with his father when he was 22m old and through the years he saw him on and off until I met someone new in 2006 and the father decided to stop the visits yet again, Difference was this time i stuck to the decision made.

Here we are 3 yrs on and son is behaving so badly. He constantly screams and shouts at me, resuses to do what i ask. If i take a toy away he screams even louder, refuses to go to bed, wash properly, clean teeth, eat what i cook, clean his room, pick his dirty clothes up, he will do nothing at all I ask. We went as a family him, partner, myself and new baby (now 1yr) to child psychiatrist where he told her he knew what he was doing and could stop if he wanted but didn't want to.

It is really getting me down I am at the point where i have tried contacting his father to take him as I am sick of being told by a 10yr old it is my fault.....I hate feeling like this please someone help me.

Yep! Well my 4 year old was a beedin' nightmare when DD was born he regressed to being 'baby' crying like 'baby' screaming like 'baby' - wonder if in a way this is what your son was doing that night?

Obviously I feel for you but your son is an interesting one, academically gifted aswell -hmm - I just think he needs some kind of male 'role model' away from the home. (Have you read 'Raising Boys' by the way?) Can you think of anyone you really trust who he can talk to and do things with that isn't 'DAD'?

Just saw your recent post - he's horrible to you 'cos your the one he loves the most. I assure you this is true.

And of course attend parenting classes even just for the mutual support of others.

Izy,
this is going to sound so silly but he won't go anywhere if i am not with him unless it is with dp. As for that night I am not sure if it was a regression thing..but kinda interesting!!!

Funny thing is all through my pg with ds2 he was researching online about births etc and kept asking me to have a home birth i was adament not to and in the end he got his own way as ds2 was not waiting lol. He saw ds2 being born as i couldn't keep him out of the bedroom and the first thing he asked.....

"Mum where's the afterbirth" ewwwwwww he was then 9 lol

I was so proud of him last friday he had class assembly and had a rather lot of speaking to do and he was soooooo clearly spoken. I love him to bits.

I think maybe this goes deeper within me as well. I lost my grandad when I was 26 and i became, i don't know what you would call it, but from staying with my mum and dad every weekend ds1 then had to be with me (my choice) but i found it hard to cuddle him....my grandad dying seemed to make me need ds1 near me but not so near that i held him.....i dunno maybe i am clutching at straws to blame myself for an easy answer. Because of o think about it i did cuddle him i just had other things to deal with,

should have said i only stopped the staying at my parents home for a few weeks and then he was back with them every weekend as usual. And now he stays with Nanny (lost my dad 5yrs ago) Monday after choir until tuesday and friday until saturday

I've got to go to bed now- but I think there are alot of positives. Try to keep talking to people. Best of luck to you all.