Is this normal? DS who is 3 has been extra clingy today, and just wont let me have a minute to myself. Put him to bed tonight and really thought I could lose it, felt almost as if I was about to have a panic attack, couldnt breathe properly and felt generally wound up. The bedtime routine just wears me down and its the same everyday. He refuses to put his pyjamas on, refuses to brush his teeth and then when I do get him into bed to read him his 2 stories he drags it out as long as possible, wont let me turn the page, makes me repeat page after page. He then pretends he needs the toilet again (he doesnt) so we tramp back to the bathroom. I tuck him in, sing to him and then he insists I lie down under the covers with him, which makes me feel claustrophic at the best of time. I try to leave the room, he tells me he wants the light out, I turn it off then he cries for me to turn it back on. The whole routine is taking well over an hour and I just want to get downstairs for some quiet time on my own.
I see years and years of this ahead and it makes me feel hysterical, like i just cant cope with it. Its the relentlessness of it, no-one told me when I had a baby I'd be at its beck and call 24 hours a day, I thought I'd get at least a couple of hours to myself. A friend was telling me to day that she has separated with her boyfriend, and the boyfriend will have their 3 year old every weekend. My first thought was, wow! A whole weekend to yourself bliss, my second thought was maybe I should get divorced myself.... This cant be normal... Sometimes I fantasise about having to spend a couple of nights in hopsital, just so I can get away from it all. I calculate when things will get better, maybe when hes 15?
God this is so depressing, I love my son and yet just want to spend as little time with him as possible.