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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS1 behaves at school as he has the threat of being sent to the Head Mistress

22 replies

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 12/10/2008 18:06

WTH am I supposed to do when he just will not behave at home? He has just thrown the white board at his 3 year old brother because he threw it at home first. He growls at me when he is cross with me and I feel like we are constantly on at him.

I am off to bath them all now but would appreciate some help as I am clearly doing it all wrong when I can't get my kids to behave.

We have started pocket money and he has a chart to write what he has done to earn the money and how much he has earned. For some reason he has written a bad column and has written in it about being stupid. I do not call him names but may say the behaviour was silly, mean, etc.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 12/10/2008 18:28

Kids all in bed.

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childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 18:29

how old is he?

Original poster

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 12/10/2008 18:30

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childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 18:32

Why do you think you're doing it wrong? My ds is 7 also and he is no angel and neither are any of his friends.

Original poster

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 12/10/2008 18:34

But mine is an angel at school and for just about everyone else, but us.

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cory · 12/10/2008 18:45

First of all, it is not necessarily a negative sign that he behaves better for other people than for you. What it does mean is that he not only understands about family/strangers boundaries but is able to stick to them. I would be far more worried if he was an angel at home and was rude to the headmistress.

Think about it, this is how all healthy normal people behave. We answer the boss politely, smile sweetly at the customer and then go home and shout at our dhs because they've stacked the china wrong. You wouldn't get far in life adopting the opposite strategy.

So ignore his school self; that is clearly fine. Just think about if changes need to be made at home. It is normal for a 7yo to display a certain amount of rebelliousness and for a certain amount of sibling squabbling to be going on. The question is whether you feel it is spiralling out of control or not.

childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 18:48

Agree with cory - he behaves differently with you because he feels more secure.

Original poster

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 12/10/2008 18:48

I just screamed at the kids when I was showering them. at me.

I know all about it's just kids but now it is too much, it has come too much to accept now and even the 3 year old is turning into a little naughty boy.

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Original poster

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 12/10/2008 18:49

he feels secure but we are hving to tell them off so much and get so much back chat, etc etc

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childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 18:55

He sounds just like my ds. I think they're just testing the boundaries.

Original poster

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 12/10/2008 18:57

Okay.

So the fact it just goes on and on means....

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MadamDeathstare · 12/10/2008 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 18:57

He'll grow out of it - really!

Original poster

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 12/10/2008 18:59

We have all been together all day
doctor for me
asda
home

they were at pil all yesterday and came home all lovely having missed me. They have been fine until tea time and then afterwards and I lost it big time at shower time.

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Dottoressa · 12/10/2008 19:00

Imnot: you could be describing my 6-y-0 DS, pocket money chart included!

No wise words here; just acknowledgement that boys of this age can be a real pain, and you are not alone!

MadamDeathstare · 12/10/2008 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 12/10/2008 19:04

My 3 year old has started saying kill to his siblings when they are mean to him.

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Dottoressa · 12/10/2008 20:01

MadamD - it's like that for us, too!

scrambledhead · 12/10/2008 20:35

No words of wisdom I'm afraid but I'm going through exactly the same. Plus DH away so am going nuts ....

Fingers crossed it's just a phase.

Dottoressa · 12/10/2008 21:10

Imnot - we do the growling thing, too.

My DS kindly wrote "ner ner ner ner ner, stupid" on his list of Good Things To Do.

Sometimes I feel like growling myself!

ActingNormal · 12/10/2008 22:55

I think you are too hard on yourself and this is fairly normal behaviour. Sometimes it seems like you are doing all the right things but the behaviour still isn't changing but I think if you stay consistent and tell them what is right and wrong and give them consequences when they do wrong it will gradually and eventually sink in but it takes some time. If you are having a stressful time yourself at the moment it will all seem much worse but if you ride it out I believe it will get better.

Original poster

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 13/10/2008 13:39

I need consequences that work and have an effect on them as nothing so far bothers them enough to think and this morning I was told that playschool have had a couple of mements with DS2 (3 yrs 4m)

Sounds silly but I felt very proud today that I insisted DS2 ate his bread and crusts before he had anything else and I ignored his crying and he ate the lot.

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