DD has been moved down a set in English - I am astounded at the fallout

[KatyMac]

She has stopped wetting the bed

I cannot believe it - that had been going on for over 3 yrs

I am wondering why?

She is also doing tonnes more work for English - writing pages & pages of work

I cannot wait until I go to parents evening in a few weeks

BTW we have said nothing to DD & nothing else seems to have changed

wow. No idea what on earth is going on but don't complain, it seems to be working!

Is it a different teacher? Different children?

I think different teacher

Definately different children - I particular child I am quite glad about the absence of (iyswim) but that might just be me being a nightmare (overprotective mum)

Could be that one particular child then

Being a child in school is horrible sometimes

Meanwhile just rejoice that she seems to appreciate the move! (And make sure the one particular child doesn't finagle her way into DD's current set...)

Wow, brilliant result. Hope she doesn't get moved up again! (mean that in nicest possible way )

Me too

There has already been discussions about it - because her english has improved so much

I am trying to find a polite way to say no thanks (I have this feeling that this child is intimidating - but nothing is visible)

I can see parents evening
'DD is doing so well, we thought she might go up a set'

'Um well actually I think I'd like her to stay where she is'

'Why?'

'Because she really seems to be thriving in this particular group and we have really noticed that she seems to have become a more relaxed and happy child in the space of a few weeks.'

Oh that is good

It is only weeks since the start of term isn't it

I must check form teacher is not old english teacher

Well, you know, you can SAY why. The teachers don't know that she stopped wetting the bed (or even did it at all) - they would almost certainly be very interested to know that she works better in a different set and think about why this might be.

Nope, the bedwetting doesn't need to be mentioned, but the fact that she is obviously happier & is putting so much effort into her work is reason enough for her to stay where she is

Yep, that is a perfect answer. Although, it might be worth letting the new teacher know what you really think about her suddenly flourishing in a new group. ( I taught secondary Eng until v recently and might well have thought I was "failing" her if i didn't try to move her back up). Worth just asking if she is still able to get same results in her new set - have never taught in setted schools but can't see why it wouldn't be possible to get high results ina lower set.

Being dropped down a set really takes the stress off. I was always in the top streams at school and ended up with a maths teacher who terrified me so much that my marks dropped from 90-odd% to 57% in one year.

I dropped a set. My new teacher was much more approachable and I got an A in my O Grade. (Shows how long ago it was, and that I was older, but same principle...)

She moves to high school next September so I don't think it will have much of a long term effect

Though I will have to watch that the child I worry about is not in her set next year

But you never know she may have grown out of it by then (& as it was all about bullying a year apart may help)

It may not even be anything to do with the teacher or other children.

When I was 11 I was borderline b/w the top and middle set in maths and struggled along in the top set for a couple of terms. It was a nightmare - I don't seem to have an innate understanding for maths and needed to do hundreds of practice questions to get the hang of concepts. Of course the others in the set just got things straight away (or so it seemed). I found struggling along at the bottom very stressful and depressing.

Eventually begged my mum to get me put down a set which she did and it was such a relief. Middle set had a style of teaching much more suited to my ability and my work really came on.

Fab news
If you want her to stay in that set, just make sure the teacher knows this when they start talking about moving her back up.

I have the opposite problem. Ds (y5 but only just 9) was moved from the bottom to middle sets for both maths and literacy at the start of Y5. He is now less interested in school work and even more reluctant to do his homework.
He tells me it is 'too hard' and is lying awake at night worrying about not beign able to keep up. He has been in the bottom sets since Y1, so this is a big step up, and he is scared....

Glad to hear she's happier now

My friends DD stopped bedwetting when they discovered that another girl had been slyly saying mean things to her, and they got it sorted.

It sounds like your instincts could be right.