Q for those who had first 2 dcs close together about newborn

[mad4mybaby]

ds is 2 and ds2 is due next month. Prob a silly question but did you leave newborn in the same room as eldest at all and if so where did you put the newborn?

ds would never deliberatly hurt anyone esp his baby bro who he adores (until hes born probably!) but hes very active, runs around etc, if i go out of the room for whatever reason where do i put the newborn?

The reason i ask this is because ds1 spent most of the first few months under a baby gym thing in the front room (unless asleep) but my sister says i wont be able to do that this time round as not safe. She reckons theres no point me buying one as by time safe enough to leave ds1 and2 alone he'l be too big for it. Is leaving him in bouncy chair going to be ok? I just mean whilst i go to loo or answer the door etc

I had a playpen and put the baby in there if I needed to nip out of the room

I left the baby under the baby gym and took the elder child with me when I left the room.

That way I wasn't carting a baby around all the time, and he had time to play on his own but they were not alone together.

The trouble is, the older one was so helpful if I turned my back for just a second, she had tried to get him out of his moses basket, give him a bottle, change him... whatever.

There is 14 months between them and obviously she was waaaaaaaay too young.

i had 11mths beween mine and both are still alive without much trauma!!

ds2 spent alot of time in bouncy chair - just slightly off floor and on playmat when i wasn there.

We have a Phil and Teds, and the bag that goes in the back is great for putting the baby in, because you can put it up somewhere out of the way, we used to have dd2 on the table next to us whilst we had our tea. 14 months between dd's BTW.

Good luck for next month

There are 22 monthe between my dc. I would say that you can gauge quite quickly what is safe and what isn't. I found the bouncy chair the best place for ds to begin with. Every time he was on the floor, dd wanted to give him cuddles which meant lying down and putting all her body weight on him! I started to think that ds would never get any time on the floor but very quickly he became more robust and she became less interested. He is now 6 months and I regularly leave them together with him on the floor to do things like go to the loo, loadn the washing machine etc - I just keep checking on them. I have found the baby gym invaluable but I do very often go in to find them lying under it together!
Experts say to never leave a toddler and newborn alone together - I have found it impossible not to. Hopefully this won't come back to haunt me!

My advice would be to wait and see. Your DS1 might actually tune in to how 'delicate' his baby brother is. It does happen. He might sing and dance and try to be a great brother without going near him a bit!!!!

Keep the telly/radio off and you'll be able to hear if things are going pear shaped.

hertsinessex my DD (at 19 mo) loved how bouncy the bouncy chair was... poor old DS1 often looked most uncomfortable- I'm surprised he didn't get whiplash!

Do not leave them in a room together! I had my dd2 in an out of reach travel cot (on the top level) with a baby gym. I mainly took both with me everywhere, but mine were 14 mths apart. However I will have a 26 mth gap and dd1 will be coming with me to stop her from giving ds3 toys, food, cuddles that may injure him!!

ds2 (not dd2)

My three year old tried to feed my 3 week old banana when I left them alone..... listen to the experts!

28 mth gap here and I couldnt leave them alone for a fair while. DS1 has never deliberately hurt DS2 and would be horrified if he did hurt him, but he just used to leap off the sofa or do spins around the room and comepletely forget DS2 was there.

You can have a baby gym and put the baby on it while you are n the room too doing a puzzle or reading to DS1 etc.

When I left the room I'd take one or the other with me. Usually DS1 to answer the door and the baby to the toilet with me!
If I was cooking or cleaning up I'd put the baby in the bouncer in the kitchen and let DS1 play in the lounge etc

17 mth gap. Always used to leave nb in playpen so felt she was safe. Had a friend whose 2 yr old picked up nb from moses basket and dropped him. Both okay, friend not! As 2point4kids says, they don't mean to be rough but at that age are so unpredictable, with, let's face it, fairly limited attention spans. Good luck for next month.

3 years between mine and no problems at leaving them alone, in fact the one time DS dropped a toy near DD and made her cry at about 3 weeks old he got so upset he has been so careful since

i am petrified of him trying to pick ds2 up and dropping him! He already trys to 'hold' ds2 by trying to take bump off me! Quite funny yet disturbing. I dont want to be all' leave the baby' 24/7 with him but at same time need to keep ds2 safe. I dont have room for a travel cot which is what quite a few have said. Anyway ds1 would be able to climb in it so not much good!

15 months between mine.

i used to take dc1 with me when i went out room. then once dc2 started moving around i end up with both. but by then she was able fend off dc1.

however. when in same room is bad enough.

dc2 got fed a chocolate raisin when she was in under baby gym at about 3 months. thought she would have choked. but relaxed when i seen her eat and and seem quite pleased when chocolate melted.

she's been whacked by a flying thomas when in her rocker seat.

we had one of those travel cots when the bassinette. has wheels. so used to put her in there and wheel her into bathroom when getting showered.

the main problem is the over eager hugging and kissing.

oh and once you start weaning you can no longer say that baby doesn't get food.

as soon as dc1 sees you feed dc2 any sort of weaning stuff. thats it. all is fair in the eyes of a toddler. they want to feed their darling bro or sis anything they're eating.

oh and dc1 will be forever changing/giving/removing dummy from dc2 if they're being too quiet or boring for dc1 's liking

see i struggle enough now getting a shower. Ours is in our ensuite which is a very small room. The last few months i have guiltily put ds in front of telly whilst i sneaked up and left door open wilst showering. Im hoping to be able to carry on doing this and take ds2 up with me and leave in chair in the doorway with door open still... not sure how that going to work!

have also been known to take dc2 into ensuite with me in rocker chair. or even just lie her down on big fluffy towel. leave dc1 watching dvd on the bed.

Mine have a 2 yr gap and there was never a problem with roughness from my eldest. She didn't try to pick the baby up either.

i feel awful every day when im having the quickest shower ever that i shouldnt leave him down there on his own because theroetically he may decide on day to climb on something and falls off and breaks a leg and i dont hear that happen until im getting dry. Yes i know over reaction but i do still worry. Hmm tho maybe not enough to have a bath in the eve. I dont bath in the eve mainly because that is the only time in the day i get to myself as he doesnt nap anymore and i begrudge spending that time washing! Selfish mummy!

have a bath in morning. get dc1 involved in putting some bath toys in water or playing at blowing your bubbles. leave dc2 somewhere in sight outside bathroom to save getting wet. or i used to have bath when dc2 was having nap. let dc1 play with toys in water. i used to also draw animals on steamed up shower and make dc1 guess what they were.

I often end up taking dd in the shower with me while ds lies on the changing mat under the sink with some toys on the floor - it's very crowded but at least I can see both of them! It also means I don't have to bath dd so often and I find bath time to be one of the most difficult times to manage on my own.
I have also put the stair gate at the top of the stairs and let dd roam free upstairs (while ds is in the bathroom with me) but like you, I worry about the things that could happen to her. I call out to her every couple of minutes and she usually comes running (more often than not wearing my knickers on her head and my socks on her hands!!).
I'm afraid to say that tv has been a real saving grace for us since the birth of ds - dd often watches it when I am feeding and whenever I need to keep her safely occupied. I still try to hold it back as much as I can but I think if they have plenty of interactive play the rest of the day a little telly can't do that much harm...

Oh, and I quick word of warning if you leave ds2 in a bouncy chair with ds1. The older dc can be particularly keen on bouncing the chairs (as they see us doing it) - a friend's dc1 bounced it so hard dc2 was catapulted out! All ok but worrying nonetheless!!