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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

potty training - the next level

6 replies

fidget · 24/02/2003 10:01

Hve tried to pick brains on separarte threads but to no avail, so thought I would start new one.
My ds now 2yrs 10 mnths, has been dry day and night since July which at the time I thought was a great acheivement. Now 9 mnths later I am still struggling to get him to do a poo on the toilet or potty.
Is this normal for boys? with state nursery looming I don't know wether to start forcing the issue. Until now he has told me he needs a poo, I ask if he wants to go on the toilet, get a negative response, so he has a hug till the jobs done.
Anyone else had similar problems, how did you over come them?

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breeze · 24/02/2003 12:23

My DS had a problem with poo on the potty as well, until I used the old "star chart" as soon as he realised that he got a pressie (£1 car from cheapie shop) for every 5 poo's he did in the potty, he soon learn't to do it. Good Luck

deegward · 24/02/2003 22:21

Hey another mother same as me! I thought we had cracked it as he had diarrhoea a couple of weeks ago... He asked to go to the toilet everytime, but when that passed, back to square one again. He knows it is wrong, and if he does it says in a very sweet voice " Mummy I am SOOO sorry, I didn't mean to, and won't do it again!"

I think it is just going to be perserverance, as when he goes to preschool there is never any trouble, and he does ask to use the toilet, but has not "performed" on it there either. I'm afraid I have stopped getting worried about it, heh he won't still be like this at five.....will he?

soyabean · 24/02/2003 23:09

We are in the same boat with ds who is 3.5! (I feel a bit embarrassed really) He has been out of nappies in daytime for about a year, and at night for a couple of months, but will only do a poo in the nappy at bedtime. He is almost completely 'in control' and has never had an accident, always waits till bedtime. We have tried star charts, rewards, bribery, jokes, sympathy, encouragement and a couple of times when he was obviously in some discomfort but wouldnt have a nappy on in the daytime, have held him on the loo against his will but to no avail. Have discussed this on another thread but am feeling depressed that it has gone on so very long. Have decided that I will tell him tomorrow that we only have 4 nappies left (true) and see if a time deadline helps. He is completely aware that he could and should be doing it on the loo but I think it is something he feels in control of at the moment. It just cant go on forever though. I kind of feel it might help him to have a way out of this situation presented to him.
btw, it is apparently not that unusual, but it sure is difficult! there is website called ERIC(not sure of the exact address) which had good suggestions but they didnt work for us.

Emmalou · 17/04/2003 14:14

My dd was toilet trained with her wees at around 2 yrs 4 mnths but would not poo on the toilet or potty. Cleaning her her poo from her knickers was an everyday chore. She has just turned 3 and finally pooing in the toilet and potty, about 50% of the time. I too tried everything - chocolate bribes, star charts, peer pressure (remember your best friend poos in the toilet ...) and nothing worked. Looking back at it, I think it has been a comfort thing for her, she likes to be at home, alone in the toilet or on her potty behind the sofa and now her language is there she can communicate this more easily. She is so capable and determined in almost everything else, it makes me thing that she's just done it when SHE's ready and not according to my ideas.

judetheobscure · 17/04/2003 14:27

One of mine didn't like me to be there while he did it and as soon as I left him alone was no problem at all, wiped himself etc.

My dd was the same as yours, waited till the nappy went on at bedtime everyday, seemed to be in total control of the situation. Bribery (sorry, rewards ) didn't work for her either. The turning point came when I explained to her exactly what was happening - ie it's food you don't need or that isn't good for you, eg that birthday cake you had today!". Never looked back after that.

eyelash · 17/04/2003 14:58

My dd will only do a poo in our toilet. My sister's dd had poo problem until he was 3. She cracked it by realising he was terrified of falling down the toilet. She tried sitting him to face the cistern so he had something to hold onto and it worked. He is nearly 4 now and still does it like this. Not sure how long she will let hime do it but as it works suspect it will go on indefinitely.

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