Problems at bedtime

[Spoo]

I have been having problems with my DS1 who isn't settling very well at nedtimes and is having trouble getting off to sleep.

We have always had a very good bedtime routine from about 6 months old and he has never had an issue with sleep. About a month ago he gave up his dummy - (he asked to do it), and there were very few issues, but he nows seems to take ages to fall off to sleep.

Our bedtime routine is fairly unoriginal. we have tea around 5.30 then bedtime starts for both my DSs at 7 where they get bathed and pj'd then have stories and milk on my bed before brushing their teeth and in bed for 7.30. DS2 (who is 2) goes to sleep straight away. DS1 can now be awake until 8.30 - 9. We have tried telling him to read quietly in his room but he shouts out all kinds of demands. I just don't feel like I can relax until they are both in bed asleep and I think I am feeling pretty shattered by it all. He doesn't seem to be affected by the lack of sleep he is still up at 7 a.m. and does not appear to be struggling through lack of sleep during the day.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Meant bed not ned!!

how old is he?

3 and a half. He's asleep now, but it is killing me!!

Perhaps he really is just needing less sleep now he is getting older?

Has the cold/wet weather recently meant he's stayed in more and is less physically tired out?

Sorry for delay in response, been trying to do my tax at the same time!!

I am worried that he needs less sleep now. Is it normal though for a three year old to be awake at 8.30??

I am not quite sure how to alter our bedtime routine. especially since his 2 yo brother thinks he should do everything his big brother does.

Spoo... we're having exactly the same problem with our DS1 and it's been going on for about 3 months now. He's 4 and DS2 is 18 mths and bedtime routine has always been good, but just like yours, he doesn't want to go and comes up with every excuse under the sun to not go. We have tried everything and the only thing that has worked is a reward chart with something at the end of the week if he's got his stickers. However, even this has a shelf-life as he can't quite manage a whole week of good nights.

Not what you wanted to hear I know, but you're definitely not alone!

More daytime activity?
If he is learning lots at nursery he may still be wound up from the day? bath earlier and longer wind down?
Allow him to read for x amount of time on the condition he doesn't shout. If he shouts then lights go out? We have a remote control plug socket with a bedside lamp plugged into it, when its lights out for dd1 we just switch it off from outside her room, so no debate iyswim.
Sorry I haven't got any better suggestions.

Do you think he's trying to distinguish himself from his 'baby' brother? He sounds as if he's being naughty to get some attention. After all, he's a lot older in terms of development and so perhaps needs that to be acknowledged by you?

We have friends with two boys, about 2 years apart. They are both put to bed at the same time but, once the younger one is asleep, the older one is allowed to come back down for an additional half an hour to read with his parents. One obvious down side to his is that the younger boy might find out and get upset by it. I don't know.

Food for thought perhaps?

Thanks for all the advice. Tonight was a bit better around 8 but I think he was very tired. We are moving his rooms soon so hope that will change things for him. I want to avoid too much distinction between their bedtimes, they are only 15 months apart, but I take your point chelsea as he doesn't et anytime with us on his own. We have been trying at weekends to divide the kids up so they get a bit of 1 on 1 time.

We are going to let him have free rein in his new room for a half hour before bed and see if that changes anything.

Good luck spoo