Do all mothers of 3 year olds get told they're wonderful? I don't!!

[RachelG]

I'm forever hearing my friends telling me that their kids have said "I love you Mummy", or "You're the best Mummy in the whole world", so I've been looking forward to hearing this. But no - DS never ever says anything like that. In fact, I got a bit cross with him today (he'd had my attention all morning, and I needed to make a quick phonecall, which he completely sabotaged), and he said to me later "You're not a very good Mummy are you, because you get cross"!!!

I honestly don't think I'm a bad Mummy. I'm a single parent, but I only work 3 days a week, so we have lots of time together. I sometimes get cross of course (who doesn't!), but I rarely shout, and I've never hit him. I play with him lots, and we go out to fun places too. We're always going on the train because he loves it so much, going to to farm to see the tractors which he loves etc etc.

So, tell me, is this common? Or am I the only Mummy who doesn't get told she's fantastic? He's very affectionate, I get loads of cuddles, so of course I'm very happy with that.

You sound like a lovely Mum.
His cuddles are his way of telling you that you're the best mummy in the world to him.

Might sound a funny question but do you say to him he's fantastic, you love him etc.?

My DS does say he loves me and im a good mummy. some days. other days he says, "i dont love you mummy" not cos i've told him off but just out of the blue.

I try not to take it to heart!!

do you tell him you love him?

i tell both mine how much i love them a hundred times a day... not only does my 3 year old tell us she loves us, she says it to cats, toys, teachers cartoon characters and friends

both mine (2 and 3) find it very easy to be vocal about their feeling as they're constantly spoken to, hugged and told how brilliant/special/lovable they are. even if i'm cross or if they say 'don't love you mommy' i tell them 'i love you anyway, nothing can ever change that'

I don't agree with telling anyone you love them 'a hundred times a day' it just devalues the words. In my opinion actions speak louder than words when it comes to love.

DD is quite adamant at the moment that she loves DH more then me. It is a bit gutting tbh, but then DH is a very fun Daddy and I am a rather dull, shouty mother. [dejected]

My kids don't seem to say it either

we do say it to THEM, but they generally say "well, yes, I KNOW that"

My dd1 says it when I'm not expecting it. I do give them a great big squeezy hug and tell them I love them at the same time. I probably say it once a day at bed time or huggy times.

ah bless you please don,t take it to heart i have 5kids ages 27 to 3 yrs all my kids have alway told me they love me i,m tell them them i love them all the time still do i love it ! my elsest daughter lives away in london and we are in contact daily by phone or text and our code is LYLLJT means love you lots like jelly tots
sometimes it all i get in a text this LYLLJT
and whoever sends it first get the reply one dito !! god i miss her !! my 3 year old plays on my heart strings to she cupps my face in her hands and say i love you mummy all the world !! my boys just say
"yeh love you to" lol

'It comes out when I feel a genuine rush of love for her and the time is right'

that's why i say it so often!

nothing can devalue a praents love, kids should hear their parents saying those words every time they feel the emotion as a child doesn't see the things we do as actions of love.... they simply expect us to do all of them and don't have the logic to conclude that 'mommy does X,Y and Z because she loves me', they need to be told

my parents told me they loved me constantly, kissed and cuddled often and as a result i was the only teenager i knew who'd always kiss my parents goodbye and say 'i love you' no matter who was there to see it

dp and i say it to each other quite often too, we always finish a phone conversation with 'i love you' no matter where we are. and will randomly look up and say it during the day.

it gives the recipient a little warm glow to hear those words from someone and it makes the sayer feel good too.... how can that be a bad thing?!

I tell my 3 year old very often that I love him, and always get a 'love you too mummy' out of him. He volunteers it maybe 2 or 3 times a week, usually at bed time when we are having the silly throwing and catching kisses game.

He is in that incredibley sweet stage where he tells me how beautiful I am constantly as well. I get the 'mummy take off your coat so I can see your beautiful top' or 'mummy dont put your hair up, its is so beautiful down'. Like wise I tell him endlessly that he is clever, handsome and gorgeous. Being a single mum, with no signs of dates on the horizon, its kinda nice!!

I cant see how saying it often devalues it. I say it when I feel it, when he does something good, clever or sweet, or when he looks at me or I catch sight of him and he melts my heart- its genuine every time.

To the OP, my boy is 3.7, but only really started to say it a lot at 3.2 or 3.3, so maybe yours will start soon too.

Oh and he has told me I am a 'bad mummy' too, when I wouldnt let him have what he wanted, and he disturbs EVRY phone call I make LOL

Rachel - my dd (3) has said it once. Recently she has said she loves me 'sometimes'

But it's also like Madamant - dh is her Firt Love and I don't even feel second - I think I'm somewhere after the cats and her CM

Does get me down sometimes. Not that she says it to dh - but I can feel the difference. And yes, he is more fun and never says no - I'm always the bad cop.

Who has told him that bad mummies get cross? I am just curious as it is quite an astute thing for him to come up with on his own aged three.

Like HumphreyCushion said

DD1 2.9 does say she 'like' 'loves' us but if I ask her if she loves me she says 'not when your naughty!' By that she means when I tell her off

Acoinonyx I feel your pain I too am way down dds list behind DH, dd2, my friends! LOL