So, your dc's refuse to eat the meal you made for them - do you make them another ...or not ...?

[Plonker]

...because i didn't ...and then i felt quite bad about it

I have always swore to never go down the "you will eat all your meal or you never in leave the table for the next 10 years" route, but really don't want to go down the 'making everyone in the family a different meal to eat' route either.
So, basically, i made the meal, the dc's refused to eat it, dh and I ate it and we all left the table.

DC's wanted an alternative but i refused to provide it. They were allowed to eat fruit if they were still hungry but i didn't cook another meal. It felt the right thing to do at the time, but now i'm not sure if i've been a little harsh??

Should i have made them a different meal?

Dc's are 8 and 5 btw. My 14 month old ate all hers

This possibly should have been in AIBU, but its a scary place to go

Nah not too harsh.

If you served them something they hated every single night, that would be harsh.

But there's fruit. They won't starve.

I think that's fine. I sometimes offer a slice of toast (if I have bread) or something bland and easy, but otherwise DS eats what's there or he doesn't eat. He usually has a huge breakfast and/or lunch the next day if he hasn't had much dinner.

agree with LittleBella

No, you are quite right. They won't starve if they have been offered fruit. It's unreasonable for you to make something else.

Personally, I tend not to. If it is something I know they have had and eaten fine before, I won't make anything else, but I might offer fruit as "dessert". If it is something new, I insist that they try it. If they try 2 mouthfuls and really don't like it, I might concede to make some toast/ fruit, but I simply don't have time to make separate meals.

My girls are 4 and 3, and slowly coming out of a very picky stage, which has been really tough. I try very hard to be calm and nonchalant, and act like it's up to them whether they eat it or not, but we have a sliding scale of puddings for those who eat none/ some/all! I always said I wouldn't go down the "dessert as bribery" path, but I have! It is the only thing that seems to work, in my defence!

I like cooking and I cook a lot of different things, and I so want the kids to get pleasure from trying new things and enjoying good food, but I think (know) I am being unrealistic at the ages they are at!! DS (11mths) is makingup for them, though- he scoffs everything and anything (so far!)It's so nice to have someone so enthusiastic about my cooking that I will have to watch I don't overfeed him in my ecstasy!

I do this (DD1 only 2 though)

Feel sure I'm doing the right thing, but sometimes feel I'm too harsh

I think what you did was perfectly fine, there was a healthy alternative if they didn't want what you made. You're not running a restaurant!

The other night ds1 wouldn't eat his meal so he had a banana instead. I had to go out for a few minutes as soon as dh got home, and while I was gone he made a peanut butter sandwich for him... grrr!

so long as your not offering foods they genuinly dislike then no, do not cook anything else.

give them their food and tell them they will not be made anything else.
if they choose not to eat it then that is their decision.
if they were hungry they would eat it.