Top Tips for Late Talkers! General Support thread

[lingle]

The idea of this thread is to gather up some strategies and tips that have been useful for the many late talkers among our children.

If something has worked for you, let us know, and perhaps it might be useful for a family who are stuck on a waiting list for speech therapy!

This is cut and pasted from a post by "Moondog", who is a speech therapist.

"Use a calendar with your children to help them understand concept of past present and future. Get them to cross of a day religiously every night to get them used to the idea of pages/blocks being filled as time moves on. Then you can start adding little pictures (or words if they are readers)to denote future events such as Christmas, birthdays, trips away, that sort of stuff.

Have done this with my dd every day since she was 4 and it has been of enormous help and great fun. She enjoys sitting in bed with all of them and reviewing the past. Now she reads and writes so she creates her own entries but we started with pictures, either drawn by us, or photos or stuff from Google images

I like the Organised Mum ones (as do many MNers) as there is enouigh space in each block and they als ohave nifty little stickers to use for playdates.dentist visits and so on, although i make my own stickers using Widgit Writing with symbols software which i get from the utterly fantastic company Inclusive Technology

Ring them and ask for a catalogue. You will be staggered at what is out there and they are so helpful and friendly. Wonderful people, brilliant resources."

love the calender idea. will definitely use it.

ok here's a tip to get some verbs into the vocabulary of kids who just want to play "physical" games and not talk.

We've had success withholding tickles, turning upside down, blowing raspberries and rolling DS2 over unless he asks:

"more tickle please" - gets tickle
"more blow please" - gets raspberry
"more upside down" - turn him upside down
"more roll" - roll him over.

We started by holding our hands out in a "ready to tickle" position so he was anticipating it and saying "tickle" until he copied us - then he got the tickle as a reward. Then after a while we waited until he said it for himself.

The nicest thing is that he has extended the game by running out of my sight and calling "more tickle please" to make me run in and provide the tickle.

I'm now trying to extend it further by saying "tickle tummy"/"tickle toes"/"tickle chin"/"tickle hands"/"tickle under arms" as appropriate. Give me a few more months and we'll crack it I hope.....

Oh heavens, a calendar thingie would be advanced by our standards.
Am getting referred for speech therapy for my 4yo.
He was assessed by a SALT, who says he has delayed speech rather than a speech disorder -- Salt gave these tips:

Make eye contact when speaking to each other.
(so that he sees how I form the sounds of words).

Get him to speak more slowly.

Speak more slowly to him and eunciate all the sounds in the words.

Comment on what he's doing when he plays, but don't ask questions (that can put him under pressure).

As much 1-to-1 as possible (he's eating right now, btw!).

She also said don't translate, make him work for what he asks for would apply in most cases, but NOT in ours, because we don't understand him lots of the time, anyway.

DS has non-systematic speech delay he does make most the sounds, but inconsistently from word to word, so it's harder to understand him than if he had a consistent system of sound replacement/funny words. As a result I am also trying

Get him to lengthen his words, even if he can't make all the sounds ("se'en", not "sen" for seven.

Make a game out of saying right every-day words he doesn't say right -- we are working on changing "fwi'al" into "cer-e-al". Just lenghting the sounds, and trying to get sssssss instead of fwee/fwi. Or "pleaZZZZuh", instead of "pluh" like he has been saying.

When my brother was sent for speech therapy this apparently worked wonders - Speech therapist had a box of tiny objects (cow, car, book etc etc) If my brother could say what it was, he got to keep it. He ended up getting a first at Cambridge...

can i join?

My DS is 2.1 years n say dada and thats about it. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry, enjoy the peace (hate that one) and he'll talk when hes ready but ive got a niggling feeling summats not right.

Granted i didnt talk till i was 2.8 but still.. and yes he has his dummy too much im going to start taking him off it (again) tomorrow, but bless him, hes full of cold and it really does soothe him.

If i ask him to say bus, he'll say bah, or lorry, he'll say va-va, mummy is vu-vu, so he does try, in a way. Also you have to prompt him, for instance, if i say to him, "hello", i get nothing back until i say to him "can you say hello?" then he says "va-va" or something similar.

Should i be worried or is he just lazy?

x

Only time will tell, s-paws,
DH didnt talk until 3yo n then went into complete sentences. Was also a dummy user!
Does he understand what you say? That's very important, I imagine it suggests language delay rather than disorder (disorder harder to resolve, I believe).

language delay can also include problems understanding, so I don't think that distinction is correct. I think even professional opinion is divided about dummies and speech - so don't guilt yourself too much - maybe just limit it to bed/naptime?

santa - I would contact your local speech therapy department to see if you can refer directly, and try and get on the waiting list now. If not, speak to HV or GP. As you can always take him off the list if his speech improves in the meantime. Can he sing along to nursery rhymes OK (just wondering if he might have problems pronouncing certain sounds or not).

Websites with more info -

www.ican.org.uk (has some free for postage dvds/books you can send off for about helping your kid's speech)

www.hanen.org (canadian organisation that specialises in helping kids with speech delay).

www.teachmetotalk.com (ace US site by a US SALT with lots of useful advice/video clips).

Books -

Baby Talk by Sally Ward
You Make the Difference and/or It takes two to talk by Ayola Manolson
The Parent's Guide to Speech and Language problems by Debbie Feit

Also if you are near a Surestart centre, they are likely to do short courses about helping your child to communicate.

I have no general advice but I would like to share my story.

My dd was refered for a speech therapy assessment because the health visitor was concerned that dd would not talk to her at 2 years and 6 months! I felt like crap, other parents would blame the 'environment' that I brought her up in and others infered that DD was thick.

The Speech Therapist at the assessment was excellent. She said that some children simply do not talk much until they are about 3 years old and having assessed dd, there was nothing wrong with her speech, and that she would begin to talk in her own time. She gave my husband and I some worksheets to go through with dd. The speech therapist asked us to call her back directly if dd was still not talking at 3.5 years, although the speech therapist doubted this would be necessary/be the case.

The speech therapist was spot on. At 3 years and 1 months, my dd talked in grammatically correct sentences. My DD went from a non-talker and incomprehensible (according to the health visitor) to a complete chatter box and understood by all.

Dd is just turned 4 and nowadays gives a running commentary about everything. Her vocabulary is above average (according to nursery teacher) and she can already read basic words, write her own name, say her home address (including postcode) and count well into the hundreds - she's figured it all out. She is now trying to count backwards from 100.

I realise that my experience may not be widespread, but I just want to reassure mums who are in my position now, not to worry. Ignore the health visitor but trust the speech therapist. The speech therapist are good people and, unlike a health visitor, will not make a mountain out of a mole hill.
Speech delay is not caused by poor parenting or anything of that kind as the health visitor had infered. It is largely due to genetics, and like other skills such as walking, all you can do as a parent is to provide opportunities for your child to practice those skills.

Do not let anyone make you think that your child's speech delay is your fault. If you come across people who do, avoid them and instead, go to people who know what they are talking about. Speech delay is just that - a delay.

peanutbutterkid n total chaos, he does understand everything i say to him and ask him to do, so i know its not that he has a problem there, but no, cant sing along to nursery rhymes.

Soon to be 3 - ur post made me cry coz thats exactly how i feel. all his other friends of his age are very articulate and i overheard one of my "supposed" friends, who has a daughter my sons age, saying there must be something wrong with him coz he cant talk.

Im trying so hard not to blame myself and im sure i'll look back at this and laugh but it just seems like im failing him right now.
I almost dont want to take him to the gp/hv in case they is something wrong, i know its better to know but im not sure i want to know, if that makes sense.

Thanks for all your advice
x

Santapaws, late talkers do tend to have a strong family history of late talking. Your own later start is very significant, and reassuring.
A sizable minority of children, including both of mine, never have the "language explosion" that most have between 18 and 24 months. That in itself is simply not a problem, other than a social problem for you to deal with with other parents. Develop a strategy to deal with the social side - ie say he's a "little Einstein" or something like that. Make sure everyone knows how proud you are of his intelligence. And be proud.
In private, take all of Total's advice (she speaks from experience)but please don't be scared of talking to the GP/HV at this stage - the feedback you get from your GP is likely to be reassurance and little else.
If you buy the Hanen book that Total mentions, it will show you how to redirect your energies away from "coaching" him to talk into more helpful chanels. I highly recommend it. It has no scary "milestones" charts in it at all. hurrah!
I'm still in the uncertainty zone with DS2 but DS1 is now a boy who finds school easy, reading easy, making friends easy, etc, etc. He talked by about 3.9. I have to hope that DS2 will follow the same path.

Thank you for starting this thread. I have picked up some very useful tips. My DS is almost 2 and saying very little. I will keep an eye on this thread for any more ideas.

I've used the "Baby Bumblebee" range of dvd's and also the "your baby can read" range and they've worked wonders with ds1. His vocabulary really took off through watching them, and he's been able to read the words on there for several months too (he's now 3.2) It's also taught him all his colours, numbers, many verbs and most letters.

We've done opposites this week, so I have him saying "open", "close", "up", "down" every 2 minutes. He's got the idea though!

They're intended for all children, but especially for those with language delays or autism. Will definitely get ds2 watching too, even though his language is developing well.

I will bump the thread by repeating something helpful the speech therapist said when I was moaning that I was sick of saying "doggie gone" and "dinner gone" and not getting anything back. She said that teaching late talkers language is like filling up the bath. It will seem like nothing is happening but really you're filling up the bath and one day it will start to overflow.

Another tip - try to use the same word for the same thing each time (so always tummy or always stomach or always belly but not switching between them). Hard in my household as DH is from the USA so uses some different vocabulary.

But I think the best tip for me so far has been the Hanen tip to talk about whatever your child feels like communicating about rather than what you'd planned on talking about ... they have a great cartoon of a mum holding a girl in front of the mirror and the girl's sock has come off. The caption said: "Sophie's mum took her to the mirror to talk about seeing her reflection but now she realises that Sophie is looking at her sock which is falling off. So now they can talk about what Sophie is really interested in.....". I have to remind myself of this cartoon about once a day! But it makes a huge difference....

Am bumping this thread for two reasons. Firstly, to update on my 3rd October post where I said more in hope than expectation that I thought I could move from
"more tickle please"
to
"tickle tummy, tickle toes, tickle eyes" etc for my not-interested-in-talking 3.1 boy.

He's done it at 3.2! It's almost easy for him now. It's been going a couple of weeks and has really motivated him to get to know his body parts. He comes up to me and says "tickle chin!"etc.

Secondly, I want to report on lingle's new patented eight-month "Branch-Line Speech Therapy" plan. This involves taking approximately biweekly train journeys up and down a branch line with aforesaid unwilling-to-talk small boy (we started at 2.6) who likes trains. So far, it's a 17 point plan.
step 1: spend months saying "train!". a lot. Step 2: spend more months saying "hello station. bye station".
Step 3: get frustrated as he copies the phrases but says hello and goodbye inappropriately.
Step 4: stick with it, stick with it, it doesn't matter if the other passengers are looking at you.
Step 5: wonder why he hears "cow" when you say "house" (he replies with "moo"). Start to understand the nature of your child's problems with language a little bit better.
Step 6: he knows what the next station will be!
Step 7: more phrases
Step 8: he's cracked it! he says "hello train" when it's coming and "bye bye station" when we leave the station.
Step 9: he can combine 2 different words now in the combination he chooses.

Fast forward to where we are now which is about step 17 and we now have a 20 minute dialogue each way up and down the branch line with a special feature crossing over a (cold and windy) bridge at our destination station.
He says "off we go" "train's going" "under the bridge" (ok it's over but we aren't fussy) "clickety clack" "I can see a sheep. Sheep says baa". "faster, faster, faster!" "train...STOPS at the station" "DS2 open the door!" "driver shut door!" and many many other gems which space does not permit.

It beats reading books to him all day and you can go shopping in the middle if you're lucky.

I'm expert but my son has delayed speech he is 2.1 and on his 2nd birthday could only say about 3-4 words. For his birthday we got him two word books that he had enjoyed from the library. Postman Pat and Thomas the Tank really useful word book, he will sit and look at the pictures for ages with me pointing at things and repeating the words and now saying the words with no prompting. He now says daddy and mummy which he could not do before.

I know these books have really helped him and wanted to share it with you in case it helps someone else too. Speech delay is worrying so hope this is of use to someone.

H xx

thanks for the update lingle, your DS has really come on well in the space of a few months. we had hello train/bye bye train as well(!).

chucky - DS had that Thomas one too.

it definitely helps to build on things that interest them doesn't it?

My DS has had a speech assessment and now has to wait until the end of the summer for therapy to start. He is now saying some words but they are not always clear and he does not join words together. Any tips for encouraging him to join words together. He knows names of things and I've taught him hot, cold, up and down and other discriptive words. Just can't get him to say them together. His speech is quite unclear I often have to translate for DH.

Any advice gratefully recieved.

I would focus away from the adjectives - I would go for verbs now - eat/drink/sit/stand/jump/stop/go, then start to encourage noun verb (Mummy eat!) or verb noun (eat cake!) type combinations. be relentlessly repetitive. drafting favourite toys in may help (Thomas stop! Thomas go!), spinning tops are good as well.

My son was late to talk and I just kept using very simple two or three word sentences when speaking to him to slowly help him build his sentence structure (even though his understanding always appeared to be a long way ahead of speaking). This did seemed to help and helped him gradually build up his length of sentences. I also just repeated the same 'conversations' with him every day just to get him talking i.e. pointing out the same diggers in a building site we drove past for months. At 2 he only had 20-30 words, now at 3 he speaks in sentences but still has some problems with speech but not significantly with language.

I'm taking him to a private speech therapist and have also seen an NHS one and both have suggested practicing single sounds like 'k' and 's' and then gradually combining them with sounds like 'ee' and 'ah' and 'ow' to make words e.g. cow, key, car as often he can make the sounds correctly by themselves but when combined and in conversation he just reverts to 'd'. Also clapping the syllables out in a word like car or a-pple etc.. to emphasise the different sounds within a word.

We also did games (although he doesn't have any problems with his understanding) where he'd have to put things (we used all his cuddly toys) either on, in or under the bed to make sure that he understood those concepts.

I guess it depends exactly how far along your child is, but hopefully those suggestions might be helpful to some people,

oh yes the games are a good idea to help teach the prepositions.

Hi Chuckey,

I agree about the verbs. Also, work on the word "gone". noun+"gone" is a frequent first combination.

Thanks for all your replies, actually he does say gone but at the moment it's just all gone for whatever it is. Some good tips I will work on these.

xx

Could we resurrect this thread? Does anyone have any tips for

1. Getting the hang of pronouns
2. Combining more words (DD can combine 3 words but is still mostly talking in 2-word phrases)

Itneverrainsbut - what's his/her general language level and is he/she using any pronouns yet? I'm not an expert so am open to any corrections but this is what I've done.

Order of pronoun acquision is first: "I" then "you" then "we/they" then, "it" then much later, "he/she".

If she/he has no pronoun ability, then first of all just use "I" and try to downplay "you". Once the child seems to be using "I" a bit, move on to the next part below.

Modelling pronouns is ideally done with three people sitting at a table. Craft a situation where you have your little one's attention (eg you are distributing a snack that s/he likes). Ask the third person "do YOU want a banana?" and get that person to answer "Yes, I want a banana". Then turn to your child and say "Do YOU want a banana?" Any reply involving nodding+banana is acceptable at first, but the point is that the third person is modelling the way that it's necessary to switch "you" into "I". This won't work with just two people because you'll end up saying nonsensical things like "no!you have to say "I"! I say "you"" and just increasing the confusion.

Confusion of I/me is not in itself a worry and tends to sort itself out as does confusion of "we/us". It's confusion of I/you that's more of a problem.

Another thing that works quite well is to always point at yourself when you say the word "I" and to get others to do the same. And point to the person you are addressing when you say the word "you".

I don't know about sentence length.