Why are children as young as 3 undre so much pressure ??

[mummyloveslucy]

My daughter is 3.5 and has been going to nursery part time since she was 2. She really enjoys it and she is a very happy, friendly and thoughtfull little girl. That should be enough at this age surely?
I constantly hear parents talking about how their child can read small words, wright their name, know all the letter sounds etc.
It just makes me feel a bit sad and a bit concerned for my daughter. She dosn't recognise letters, appart from L and she can't read, wright etc. She can't follow dot to dots of her name or trace a letter with her finger.
Is this really important though?. We play with her all the time, she has a very loving, supportive family and she is the most loving little girl you could meet. She has lovely manners and genuinly cares for people. To me this is so much more important than accademic things at this age. Am I wrong though, and will she be behind her friends at school?
I can't remember there ever being this amount of pressure for young children to accieve in the past. It was all about play and having fun back then, and I had a wonderful childhood. I'd like my daughter to have the same.
My Mum says that when she had me, if you were told at the developmental check up that your child was within normal limits, you were pleased. It seems that this is no longer good enough and people want their children to be above the norm.
Is it right though to push children as young as this, and what about the children like my daughter who struggle to learn accademically ?
I couldn't be prouder of my daughter, and I just want to give her a happy, care free childhood.
I think with all the pressure surrounding children and their parents, this is not going to be as easy as I thought.

me on the other hand - no excuse and i can see once spelling mistake and one gramatical error in my post, probably loads more, yep, just spotted another one Just before anyone else points it out

mummyloveslucy I could read at 2, DH couldn't read freely until 8 or 9- it doesn't matter in the scheme of things.
On the other hand, he looks back on his childhood fondly, as a mostly happy time, I had a very unhappy childhood.
Your DD has a communication difficulty- but she is making progress, and is enjoying herself.
Let her go at her own pace- she will be a happier person as a result.
I agree there is so much pressure- I am constantly stressing about should I be doing this with DD (2.8), that with her, she doesn't know that but Molly does etc.... I am doing my best to keep those pressures away from her, so she is progressing as she should be, at her own pace, not whatever the latest expert thinks.

Lucyellensmum1- Yes I am dyslexic, it was found out when I was 8 and didn't recognise hardly any letters in the alphabet.
My parents read to me all the time, and I memoriesed whole books and poems. When the teacher heard me read, I recited the book I'd chosen.

I recognise your experience Armadillo. At 35 I severed contact with my overbearing, continually dissatisfied mother. At 40 I'm a lot happier, more confident and planning autonomous home learning for my boy

Hmm. It sounds as though you feel pressurised by others talking (boasting?) about what their children can do. If you are happy with your daughter's development, try not to worry. My DD is 3 and came home from pre-school today with paintings, she had very clearly written her name on the top (proud) but I have not pushed this, it has just happened! I am not concerned about her academic achievements until she starts school next year.Try not to worry!

DS started pre-school this term. It is totally relaxed and learning is through play, which I like as I'm sending him more for his social development than academic at this stage. Friends ds started at another pre-school. She was raving on about it and I began to wonder if i should've sent ds there instead until she said mentioned that he had homework to do!!! He's not even 3 yet.

Just relax and enjoy it! I think competitive parenting has got worse over the years. Ignore them all.

Homework at under 3!! The world has gone mad!

Children now stay in school untill they're 18 years old. If they are pushed from the age of 2 in some cases, they will soon become fed up of it.
L actually learns a lot through being out and about with me without me even realising it. For example the other day she said to me,
The leaves are going brown, on the trees. then they fall down. Tumble, tumble, tumble.
And go crunch crunch when we walk.
I think she must have remembered this from last autunm.
We had a lovely time last autunm, collecting things in a bag, making leaf prints and so on.

Lucyellensmum- Don't worry about offending me. I'm pretty hard to offend.
Thanks for saying I sound intelegent.

"I also don't think it's a bad thing for children to experience a bit of boredom in their lives, it encourages emaginative thinking."

Oh that is so true (and I agree your general philosophy also).

DS1 went to an "ok" nursery and a structured highly-thought-of playgroup. At the structured and highly thought of playgroup he learned colours, numbers and shapes.

Slightly bored at the "ok" nursery he learnt how to make friends, how to develop his social skills, and a million and one things you can do with a scooter.

It's the skills he learnt at the "ok" nursery that have stood him in good stead in the 18 months since leaving both places.

There are studies on this somewhere - a nursery where they removed all the toys left the kids to it - and after a week the children all started playing imaginative games of a much higher quality with the tables cushions and chairs and also played with each other when they had not done so before.