When should I expect DS to use a knife and fork?

[SuperBunny]

He is 3 (just)

He uses a spoon or fork but always ends up using his fingers too. I don't want to make mealtimes unpleasant by nagging him but I think I'd hoped he'd be eating with a knife and fork by now. Am I being unreasonable?

I don't think it is unreasonable for you to be nudging now. DS1 is 4 and has used a knife and fork for over a year but that is without nagging.. If I had nagged we would have had finger use forever - he is very stubborn!
Go with your gut, if you don't think he is ready then be gentle, if you think he is messing then be a bit firmer?

My 2 year old uses knife, fork, spoon although will occasionally help things with his fingers, so by 3 I'd hope that he'd be cutting most things and eating neatly

Oh no, I was hoping everyone would say it is fine. I know it's not.

To be fair, he does use try to use knife, fork and spoon, I think it is just quicker/ easier for him to use his fingers and he does it without even thinking. Will gently nudge!

Thanks

...my 6 year old DS would still use fingers given the chance.........

My dd (2.11) still mainly uses fingers. I haven't pushed cutlery because - I'm not sure why - maybe I just can't be arsed? This thread is giving me a prod that I should get round to it. But rest assured you are not alone!

I have always been laid back about the knife and fork thing and let them do what they want. I like to choose my battles carefully and this seems like one not worth fighting. Grandmother criticises - "why do my grandchildren eat as if they are gardening?"
They get there in the end - I have a 28 yr old who eats just fine, a 7 yr DS who also has fab table manners and a rising 5 DD who eats like she is at a trough. She does show signs of improving - we all have a family meal together and the embarrassment of being the only philistine at the table usually works, I find.
Good luck, whatever you do.

hopefully by the time he is 18

my 3 year old uses a spoon/fork quite well.. he really cant use a knife

and i have to say he resorts to his fingers quite a lot..

I didnt think it was an issue till I read this ..

So I was also hoping everyone would say it's okay not to be using knife and fork at 3, because my DS is nowhere near ready. He uses a spoon still.

Can anyone tell me where I can get some decent cutlery for little hands? All the sets I've bought at pants - completely flat handles and blunt to boot. I'd have trouble eating with cutlery like that. My DS eats with teaspoons from my normal cutlery set.

my just 3 year old still expects me to feed her so i am well behind!!!! cant really help but thought you might be reassured that none of my dd 3 year old friends use a knife/fork that i know of. spoon/fork i think is fine at this stage.

are pants.

That's not a new shop only I know about.

My dd, aged 4, still uses a fork and spoon when given the option. She likes spreading with a knife but won't really use it to cut up food unless specifically told to do so. I think most of her friends are similar.

My 3 yr old DS is pretty rubbish with a fork and spoon. Dread to think what he might do if he found a knife on his plate. Still resort to shovelling it in myself sometimes as he can be completely uninterested in food.

Phew, I'm not the only one then. That's a relief My mum is coming to stay in a few weeks and I think she may be a bit appalled to see the slovenly table manners of her precious grandson. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have thought about this. I was aiming for 'by 18' too

I'll see what we can do now. Thanks for the help

lol @ pants

Stop worrying - they will all get there in the end; a bit like potty training. Apart from children with special needs who perhaps need more time with some skills, most kids master the toilet and cutlery at a relatively early age. How many children over the age of 7 do you know who can't do both?

controversial topic. Som epeople are very keen on nagging kids to use knife and fork from a young age.

I don't give a monkeys. Unless we are going to eat out in a cafe/restaurant. Then I tell 'em teh drill beforehand if they are school age.

I would say the general rule of thumb is that they should be able to eat neatly with all three pieces of cutlery by the time they start reception class at 4yrs + , early encouragement is good.
DD1 is 2.9 and uses a spoon and fork well, can cut unslippery things!, but will resort to fingers when bored/right type of food iyswim.

DS1 started using a fork when he was about 18 months, only really started using a knife about 1 1/2yrs ago (he's just turned 8)

DS2 used a fork from similar age, started using a knife about 4 months ago (he's nearly 5)

DS3 - uses a fork very competently now at 16 months and tried to use his spoon as a knife

I think they all develop at different times

If you want good cutlery for kids I say just use a cheap normal set- they happen to be smaller iyswim and the knife cuts!
A good idea is to get them playing with a knife cutting playdoh and plasticine. HTH

If you want good cutlery for kids I say just use a cheap normal set- they happen to be smaller iyswim and the knife cuts!
A good idea is to get them playing with a knife cutting playdoh/plasticine. HTH

My 4 year-old neither cuts his food up or eats with a knife and to be honest it has never crossed my mind that he should be able to at this age. All I expect from him at this age is that he eats nicely with his mouth closed and sits at the table until we have all finished our meals. My older children (7 and 9) cut their food up and use knife and fork, but I think they only did this since the age of 6ish. I just didn't feel they had the coordination before this age and I would spend all my time nagging and the meals would be really stressful. I know so many parents who turn mealtimes into stress because they try to hurry their childrens table-manners. Like others say, they all get there in the end.

Actually my ds1 claims that he is more or less the only children who can cut up his own dinners at school and he is year 7.

Sorry, he is 7 and in year 2. LOL

oh yes - DS3 prefers to use one of the desert forks than one of the ones designed for children.

I overheard a mum saying 'no fingers!' to a 15mth old once. DD1 (just 3) experiments with spreading and cutting but can't really do it. Never seen a 3 year old eating with a knife and fork, didn't know they did!