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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Why does my 15yr old DS lose EVERYTHING???!!!

14 replies

coochybottom · 30/09/2008 13:41

My son is a lovely lad but he is so laid back he is nearly horizontal.The teachers have also said he is too laid back!!Today he announced at the last minute he has lost his bus pass and needed £5 for a replacement. Wouldnt mind but it is not the first time. He has lost 3 mobile phones,his wallet in town and one shoe at school! How do you lose one shoe???He had swimming yesterday and didnt take a towel![durr?] He leaves all his homework to the last minute and it drives me up the wall as he couldnt be more different from me.In some ways I admire his relaxed attitude but tell me, will he ever improve?

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Lucifera · 30/09/2008 13:49

Yes he will improve. But possibly not for another 15 years! Sorry!
What happens when he loses something he really needs? Do you bail him out - i.e. replace or find for him? I'm not saying if he had to face all the consequences he'd learn to be more careful, I don't know if he would - just wondered how you handle it.

AbbeyA · 30/09/2008 13:52

I don't like to give you the honest answer- which is probably not! I hope someone comes up with the answer-I have similar DSs!

AbbeyA · 30/09/2008 13:53

I think the answer is not to bail them out but I find it difficult not to step in.

Original poster

coochybottom · 30/09/2008 14:04

I dont always bail him out but he doesnt seem to learn. He often misses the school bus too and I make him use his pocket money for the bus fare. He will have no pocket money this week to pay for the replacement bus pass. I did bail him out when he lost the shoe as he had to have some for school and got into trouble for wearing his trainers. It makes me laugh now thinking about him but at the time I think Oh no not AGAIN!! He has gone back to using an old mobile phone he had in his drawer as he says he only wants it to listen to music anyway.[not bothered,see]He decided to dye his hair at a mates and his shorts were ruined with spillages but again his attitude,"oh,it doesnt matter, Mum"!!What will I do with him??

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Lucifera · 30/09/2008 14:27

Maybe you just have to put up with it as you are doing, replace when essential but make sure he contributes, let him suffer the consequences most of the time ... seems to be a feature of teenage boys' (especially) make-up, try not to get too wound-up about it. Easier said than done, I know!

Janni · 30/09/2008 21:03

My 12 year old DS sounds very similar. In one term he lost a pair of shoes, a coat, a mobile phone, and his maths equipment.

Anything else he loses he knows he will be paying for himself.

It is beyond frustrating!

komododragon · 30/09/2008 21:13

What will I do with him, or her, lol. My DD13 is exactly the same - lovely girl, but so dreamy - has lost loads of uniform/PE kit/phones/bus tickets/lunch/trainers. Wish she had lost all of these only once! Thought I had the answer - make her pay for them. Response is a vague - "Yeah OK", followed by an offer to forego pocket money for X weeks in lieu. This privation is then endured with NO COMPLAINT. I hope she does well at school as I am sure she will (bright girl) but what the hell am I going to do when she is at University?!

teafortwo · 30/09/2008 21:23

I was very dreamy when I was a teenager too. Always loosing stuff.

Then I went to university and continued to dream ande loose stuff!

And urm... actually I am still very dreamy now.

I think, just like me, he can be dreamy and still survive into adulthood. I just have to find ways of sorting out all of the doopy things I do sometimes - actually I have become really good at it.

komododragon · 30/09/2008 21:52

Hehe teafortwo - yes, you're probably right - just because our teenagers aren't the switched-on organised people we would like them to be, they are great - they are themselves and we should celebrate what they are instead of complaining about what they aren't!

Wade · 30/09/2008 22:08

He sounds exactly like my brother (although he lost both his shoes and returned barefoot but that's another story). He's 28. Sorry!

lilolilmanchester · 30/09/2008 22:11

"Why does my 15yr old DS lose EVERYTHING???!!!" Quite simply because he's a 15 year old DS and couldn't care less if he's anything like ours. We have started making DS pay for things he loses. Not sure whether it's working yet...

compo · 30/09/2008 22:13

I would make him pay for his own stuff
Losing 3 mobile phones wouldn't happen if he had to save up for each one woud it?

LuLuMacGloo · 30/09/2008 22:16

I can totally understand your frustration but he does sound lovely and non-materialistic. Though obviously you are paying for it.

Original poster

coochybottom · 01/10/2008 15:54

Thanks for all your comments. LuLu, yes you are right he is not very materialistic, which is nice. When I take him for new clothes it is usually me encouraging him and I know if he wants someting he genuinely needs it. Love him really...

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