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DS, 3.5yrs, "very distractable"/low attention span- advice please?

14 replies

madmarriedNika · 30/09/2008 11:34

DS (3.5 yrs) started preschool exactly a week ago (every morning until 11.30) and loves it. However his teacher this morning mentioned to me that he does have much of an attention span and won't sit at anything for long- or she asks him to do something and he gets distracted by something else before finishing what she asked him.

She asked me if he was like this at home and honestly I hadn't thought he had a particularly short attention span, he'll sit drawing/painting/reading/playdough with me for at least half hr at a go, usually in the afternoons, quite happily (and will "read" on his own off his own initiative too). But I do know when he's surrounded by loads of new toys etc. he flits between them constantly and can't sit still! He is a very active child but I thought most boys of his age are...and mornings is usually when we head out for a walk etc. to give him a chance to burn off some of his energy...(which he can't do so well at preschool).

He's not used to being in a nursery environment so I wonder if it's the novelty of it all that's distracting him or should I start trying to work harder on his concentration span... (part of me thinks he's only 3 ffs!!!)

Advice please!!

OP posts:
madmarriedNika · 30/09/2008 11:35

sorry in the second sentence I mean that he doesn't have much of an attention span

OP posts:
slim22 · 30/09/2008 11:37

she's expecting too much.
is she very young and very new to teaching?

madmarriedNika · 30/09/2008 11:38

no- she's the main teacher for the preschool class, very experienced- which is why I have taken it a bit to heart

OP posts:
docket · 30/09/2008 11:39

my ds is 3.11 and exactly the same. i assumed this was normal tbh

Smee · 30/09/2008 11:44

Sounds normal to me and actually I think the teacher's being a bit odd mentioning it already as he's only just started. I think you're right. He's probably excited by it all being so new. Also, he's only 3.5, which is very little. Unless he's disruptive, I can't see it's a problem. Why don't you reassure his teacher that he'll sit with you at home, but explain that he's quieter in the afternoon. Or can you shift him to the afternoon session maybe? That might work a bit better for her and so for him as well.

deanychip · 30/09/2008 11:48

normal.
mine is 5 and has always been this way.
very active, very curious,
it would not be my aim to quash it for any one, no matter how experienced or knowledgable the person making the comments!

Your little man is Perfect in every way

VictorianSqualor · 30/09/2008 11:48

Seems a bit odd to me tbh. DS (3.10) and all the other children in his class are the same afaik. That's why they have so many different activities.

madmarriedNika · 30/09/2008 11:49

Thank you ladies.
Smee- I did tell her that he seems fine at home, but I will mention that usually he's most active in the mornings...Hoping he settles down a bit once the novelty of it all wears off. She didn't say he was disruptive, just "distractable"... Unfortunately state-funded preschools over here only seem to offer morning sessions, so moving him to an afternoon isn't an option.
Didn't think a comment like hers could make me worry so much- how on earth will we cope with all that's to come with school!!! DS was premature too and we had been warned sometimes this can affect behaviour which becomes apparent in a school environment so I'm a bit paranoid...even though to me he's always seemed completely normal for his age...

OP posts:
madmarriedNika · 30/09/2008 11:51

deanychip- you are so right, the curiosity is a wonderful thing, and DS is incredibly curious about everything and has to be into everything as a result...

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 30/09/2008 11:52

My son is 3.7 yrs old and exactly the same.

I also think it's a bit soon for the nursery teacher to be mentioning it to you...? He has only just started and is obviously not going to be settled yet or know what's expected of him.

Perhaps you could raise it with his teacher again and ask her (ever so nicely ) what her strategies are for helping children to settle down a bit (seeing as she's the expert!).

I know that my son's nursery teacher has set a few very simple, clear rules to start off with - no running indoors, no snatching, saying 'please' and 'thank you' - just to get the new children used to a slightly more civilised way of doing things .

Giving young children clear instructions and small, achievable goals is key, really - 3 yr olds generally don't understand 'You're a bit distractable aren't you? Calm down and act more maturely and stop flitting about like a blue arsed fly'!

It's early days, anyway. He may well be a different boy by Christmas, who knows?

slim22 · 30/09/2008 11:53

Oh dear, don't worry !
He's just a week into it. Very early. It'll be weeks before the routine sets in.
And don't start comparing notes with other mums. They are all different and settle at different rates.
Mine is in reception. 2nd year in the school and most boys this age are very fickle.

MrsMattie · 30/09/2008 11:54

p.s re: the curiosity thing. I call my DS 'the uber-enthusiast'. He bounds around everywhere and is constantly into everything because he is a natural born enthusiast with bundles of energy and curiosity. I don't want that crushed out of him completely in a bid to make a him a 'good boy'...hell no!

bubblagirl · 30/09/2008 12:00

well in all fairness my ds was pulled up on this at 2.6 which i thought was quite young but he actually got dx with HFA at 3

not saying anything wrong with your ds but i think its normal to pass comment on this now days as structure at pre school is very important and if a child struggles to follow its normal to inform parent incase anything else may be the cause

also its normal behaviour for young child but to ask if he is like it at home in my opinion would be to rule out any thing else

im glad my pre school mentioned this as at home his completely different but in pre school environment is where it became more obvious and we now have dx and can deal with his needs

but again im not saying your ds has ASD but just saying its normal practice to bring this to light

deanychip · 30/09/2008 12:07

IMHO it makes parent unnecisarily worried and anxious.

I only have one child, and zero experience and so i am guided by professionals comments.

Mine is 5 now, and since he was tiny, evey one i come into contact whether it be professionals, family or freinds every one has an opinion on what is normal and what is not, and it mightily pisses me off.

The opinions differ hugely from person to person, and they are all convinced that what they say is right.

This is difficult to decipher when you have a PFB, and personally it tied me up in anxious knots, till in the end i said "enough".

It is very difficult isnt it.

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