DS upset as slowest runner in his class.

[katedan]

DS (age 5) cam home from school last week to say he was last in every running race in PE. I said the usual "never mind someone has to be last" type of upbeat comment but it has really upset him. He is a very slow runner and not a active child. His slow runnig has never bothered him before but I guess now he is in year 1 PE is more serious. Yesterday my two nieces were disccusing who out of the two of them ran the fastest and out of the blue DS said "I can't run" the two girls sat there stunned. Later in the day at a family picnic another child asked DS to play football with him and DS said "I can't play football as I can't run" and would not go and play with the little boy. Again the other child was quite stunned. I am worried that DS's feelings that he can't run is stopping him wanting to take part in any sporty activity, which could stop him making friends. I told DH about this and he got very upset and told me it was all his fault as he could not run as a child and got bullied about it (we have been together 13 years and I never knew this before) Neither DH or I am sporty and I have always noticed DS seems the same but untill now it has not worried him before. He is a very young 5 yr old and I think he is finding YR 1 with some nearly 6 year olds VERY hard. He can't read or write either yet so I think his confidence is very low. Sorry to go on but I would appreciate any advice.

Kate

my dd (6) isn't sporty at all, she came last in all her sports day races, was perfectly fine about it until a classmate called her a loser the thing to do is find out things that he is good at and is interested in doing. i've struggled finding suitable out of school activities for dd, at ballet she was like a little elephant, no interest in gymnastics as she dislikes the competitive side. instead she goes to a saturday art club, rainbows too, as she likes all the crafty stuff they do. if your ds is getting involved with something he really likes, it will help build his confidence up, at 5, he will be able to start beavers, that might be good for him as it's a mix of outdoor and creative activities. that way he'll begin to realise, yes, he may not be a fantastic runner, but he can do this, this and this instead.

Is there a physical reason that he 'can't run'?

You say he is 'not an active child' - how does he occupy/amuse himself?

DD is not particularly sporty - more artistic, musical, and a reader. But I have enrolled her in some low key/fun sports lessons - swimming, football, dance - so she has the chance to practise being physical. I also do a bit of ball throwing with her to help hand-to-eye coordination. We take long walks, and she scooters alongside.

I think you need to find ways to encourage him to be a bit more active. Identify a few things he enjoys (or will tolerate), and do them together. He may not be a sporty boy, but helping him develop coordination and some basic physical skills is important.

Oh dear, tough isn't it?

I think I took the line 'you can do it, it might just take you longer'. I think I do still take this line.

Celebrate his successes whenever you can. Get dh to take him to the park with a football, have a knock about on his terms, celebrate the fact they enjoyed doing it [even if they didn't] or throwing a ball to each other, even if they can't catch it.

Inject the idea that this is just fun, and some people are faster than others.

Now with ds2 [still crap at all sports] I am a little more rebellious. I say 'Well nobody became a great teacher or an interesting scientist because they could run fast did they? Nobody thought up an interesting poem because they could kick a bloody ball did they?'

It makes him laugh, but he's nearly 9, and I wouldn't have said it at 5.

Ds (5) not that sporty either and certainly not a naturally fast runner. We have got him interested in sports which not many other children in his class do. He does cycling at tracks and Rugby (won't touch football as he has the co-ordination of an elephant). We have found now that when children say to him "you're rubbish at football" he says "that's fine, cos I'm much better than you are at cycling".

Ds dropped out of football club when he went to Junior School, because he was so bad at it, and the other kids were starting to get annoyed when he let the side down. We tried to keep him generally active instead.
He was also slow to learn to read and write so confidence was generally low.
Learning to swim was a massive confidence booster. Now in Yr 4 he has grown quite a bit, become steadier and stronger- and decided to join the football club again. His reading is also coming on in leaps and bounds since he decided that perhaps he wasn't too dim after all...