How can I get my 5yr old to go to school?

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My 5yr old started sch 3 weeks ago, bar 3 days, she has screamed and thrashed abt like a wild animal to not go - Ive had to resort to carrying her in screaming past all the other kidz...she doesnt tell me whats wrong & know she enjoys it from her teacher etc....Its becoming a real problem as Ive also a 18 month old with me. Anyone help??

Yes, and thank you, I came on today because he, my ds, was so adamant and tearful this morning. I had to turn and walk away once I had finally got him to let go of me, with the helpful guidance of one of the teachers. And yes all those emotions that I thought I had packaged away came up again.
Perhaps we should feel proud of our little ones that they have that streak of "I deserve more", if that's what it is? The teachers may come up with the argument 'if we do it for one we have to do it for all' or they won't say, that they have been trained not to show too much kindness. But kids are individuals, what one needs the others may not, and just a guiding hand, into the school is all that is needed, and a welcoming smile to all the children.

i do think we send them to school to young, that some children are just not ready for so much structure

I'm not sure structure is the problem, I think they LIKE structure. My DD went to nursery before school and did the same thing when I dropped her off there and then loved it as soon as I had gone. So the school thing wasn't because she wasn't used to this structure already. Oh god I feel like a bitch now for making her go to nursery 2 days a week and then school if it is true that they can't cope with this structure at that age! - but if she hadn't gone to nursery and if my DS didn't (he doesn't cry when he goes) I would go insane and kill them . And my thinking is that it is part of teaching them how to cope in the real world. I used to hate going to work and want to cry in the mornings! But I was ok once I got into my work.

Hi. I sympathise with your situation. It sounds like are doing really well and trying all the right things. Without knowing your child it's difficult to say what would work. I don't think being gentle and kind to little children can ever be a bad thing. With both of my DD I have had a couple of weeks of resistance and it is very upsetting and stressful for the parent. I even tried getting my DH to take them to see if they just did it for me. Firstly I would say try to calm her down before you get thru the gates. Even if it means her having screaming ab dabs in the street (just wait calmly till she's finished and let her vent) and being late in, it's better that she arrives calm and composed. I used to physically hand my kids over to the keyworker. I think in doing that the children then transfer the idea of who's in charge and looking after them and are happier for you to leave. The staf are good at distracting them while you leave then, having said goddbye. My kids always looked so abandonned and insecure otherwise. It only lasted a few weeks though so hang in there. I hope school call you and offer some reassurance. They will be used to it so don't worry what they'll think of you.

Yes, I think you are right about structure, one of the things my ds tells me now with angst is that he doesn't know what he is doing every day. (New year,new teacher, change of schedule). Someone once said that the child also worries about you, and how you are going to cope without them, apparently their is some research about that?

I think Ive made the mistake over the last few weeks in saying that when my DD gets upset so do I, in an attempt to show her that I do care, even tho it may not be obvious at the school gates. Maybe she's stewed on it, and makes her feeldoubly anxious if she's feeling upset & she now upsets mummy too !!

Anyway, Ive just popped to the school and seen her as she's still on 1/2 days and is going straight to her friends for a play, and she literally skipped out grinning...!!!

No, "oh my god what a traumatic day Ive had mummy" vibes from her whatsoever. However, on speaking to another parent today in her class, it seems theres a child who is a bit punchy & kicky, in the class who is causing a few problems, and my DD has mentioned she was kicked yesterday...so maybe there is more in it than I thought.

I do think we do send our kidz in too young, our c/minder says they dont send them in till 7 in S Africa, not sure abt Europe, which I think may be abt right, but as ever, it depends on the child, some are more ready than others, it depends on their coping strategies !! Clearly mine hasnt quite found hers yet, but there is a lot to be said abt getting sucked up into the system at 5. That said, dont know if I could have afforded childcare costs for much longer so maybe just as well!!