SO SLEEP DEPRIVED! Should I wake her up at 10pm for a feed?

[VivC]

My LO is 10 weeks old. She sleeps at 7pm and goes until 1am-2am. But after that, she wakes at 3am, then at 5-6am again for feeds. I can't get to sleep until 11pm, so this means I get 2 hours until she first wakes then after that I get at most 2 hours collectively, and I'm up doing household chores etc at 6am-7am after her morning feed. I try to get daytime nap, but LO sleeps so poorly during the day I really don't get a chance. So am absolutely knackered now . Just wondering if you think I should wake her at 10pm for a feed? I tried it a few times but she is in such deep sleep that it's hard to wake her and she only feeds 10 min then falls asleep and then wakes up at 2-3am anyway. Any Advice on how to get her to move the 5 hour stretch sleep to match my sleeping time would be much appreciated!! Thanks

no, I wouldn't.
I think it'd be easier if you could change your sleep patterns (and I speak from bitter experience here)
last night I was in bed asleep at 7.30pm!!! lol

ime it doesn't work- they still wake at their usual times. Doesn't sound too bad for a 10wk old too me. You'll get used to the sleep deprivation. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear but it's true!

I have 3 and they all did their long stretch from 7pm till after midnight- it's just the way they work. As yesterday said, you'd be better changing yours. If you went to bed earlier and got your dh to do the first feed- even just at weekends- then you might get a bit more sleep.

Sorry I agree with others. She will start sleeping better soon, please believe me, and in the meantime its just a question of getting through it.

To be honest you need to find a way to sleep earlier. I used to go at 8.30pm until DS started sleeping properly. I found that no caffeine and herbal sleeping tablets helped me to get to sleep earlier.

Can you also make it easier on yourself, do less household chores and relax in bed with your DD when she wakes up in the morning.

3 feeds in the night seems like quite a lot, can you fit in an extra one in the day instead?

I used to do a feed at 10.30pm from a bottle. I didn't even wake her up she just had a feed asleep. Didn't change her nappy unless it was dirty. It worked well.

Why can't you get to sleep until 11?

I completely disagree! I fed my DS at 10pm/10.30pm until he was 6 months old and it was the only thing which kept him going for a longer stretch during the night. It would take a very short time, I'd wake him up, he'd be sleepy and just feed, I'd change his nappy and then straight back to bed. If you think she's not hungry at this time, given her the evening bottle earlier than 7pm. This honestly worked for me. He slept right through from 10.30pm from the age of three months, so can't be bad...ll

agree re going to bed earlier. also does/ would she go back to sleep after 6am feed if you keep her in her sleeping gear? if you don't change her nappy? i would try to get a bit more sleep then too and sod the chores

I would totally disagree. I would wake her at 10 / 10.30 and feed her. I did this with both mine and this worked. Am in total agreement with LittleOneMum, give the 7pm feed earlier.

I've always suffered with insomnia even before LO, and so this is keeping me up until 11pm. I do physically get into bed around 9pm but am tossing and turning, probably worrying about not sleeping until 11pm - a vicious cycle. Used to take medications but am breastfeeding so can't take anything now so quite stuck - tried taking a bath, camomile, reading etc, nothing seems to work .

I would feed at 10pm, you can 'dream feed' and not have to wake them ompletely. Try and let them settle themselves back to sleep when they are waking in the wee hours. You will have to set the pattern for a few days before you see a change - so don't expect it to happen on the first night. But if you persevere they will go for a longer stretch.

If you are not able to get yourself to sleep until 11pm you might as well feed at 10pm to get longer stretch of sleep. Two hours at a time is not quality sleep and your mood and health with suffer.

Encourage day feeds as much as you can. I followed Gina Ford with both children and it 'worked' for us, sleeping 10pm - 7am from six weeks, but you have to put the effort in during the day to makes sure they are feeding well. I so appreciated the extra sleep, I needed it and was happier and felt able to manage my day better.

Good luck, the sleep deprivation can be a killer, I was on my knees. Hope it gets better for you soon.

i used to fall into bed at 8.30 and DH would give 10.30 bottle (expressed milk initially then we moved to giving just that one bottle a day of formula rest breast-fed) allowing me to have a great initial sleep of about 4-5 hours which really helped. agree seems bit pointless if taking very little at that feed but they go get used to it and that initial stage sleep being longer for you really helps. i really recommend trying to get into bed before 11 or won't work! we weren't massively into gina ford but on this point we followed her with success. good luck!!!

It's rotten! With my first I also had difficulty sleeping and was anticipating being awake. Even if he slept I was awake. It's a killer! I was so exhausted and thought he'd never sleep through. Of course, he did start sleeping through from 6.30pm to7am by 4-5 months. My daughter is 10 weeks old and I am so used to disrupted sleep that I don't really notice. I started doing dream feeds with my son and it worked well although initially it actually made his sleep pattern worse. Basically, rest assured that whatever you decide to do, your baby will soon change her pattern and you'll get your sleep back! Good luck and rest well.

i was the same with ds1. i would lie awake worrying that he was going to wake up. one thing that helped - and this prob sounds barmy - was convincing myself that the baby could sense that i was anxious, and that this made him more likely to wake up. i know this is nuts, but it meant i had to force myself to calm down, taking deep breaths etc. eventually i did find it easier to sleep but this method still helps now on the occasions i find myself getting wound up.

i found it v difficult to get to sleep with ds2 too but that's because he was an extraordinarily noisy sleeper in the first few weeks!

I recently started doing a dreamfeed with DS2 to cut out the 1and 3am wakings.

Also what is her sleep like during the day? She may need more naps. I hadn't been putting DS down for a nap enough in the day and he got so overtired he found it hard to stay asleep.

I moved his bedtime forward to about 7:30pm, after his 7pm feed, then I do a dreamfeed at about 11pm. He normally wakes at sometimes between 4:30 and 6am for his first feed. The earlier he wakes, the longer he sleeps for after.

I did try a dreamfeed when he was quite small and he wouldn't feed. Just stayed solidly asleep, however as he got older he started to take one.

Also, have you tried co-sleeping? Even just for the first bit?

When BFing the sleep hormone is released so if you're laying down and don't have to get up and put the baby in the cat you're much more likely to drift off.

I used to feed my son at 10pm he fed without waking and would then sleep till 5. If I didn't he'd wake at about 1. I could never sleep in the evening or the day time either.

I wake my son up for a 10pm feed and always have done. From 0-12 weeks I gave him a feed at 6pm, 10pm and then he'd wake for a feed at 2am and then again at 6am. From 12 weeks on he slept through the 2am feed waking at 6am and now at 17 weeks he sleeps until 7.30am from his 10pm feed.

I found doing a dream feed at 10pm worked really well, I was really tired when DS was that age, I remember changing his nappy and then not being able to find the wet one and realised I'd put it back on him.

All good ideas to be found here but I really think each baby to its own. Have tried various bits of advice myself but 21 week DS wakes himself at 10.30pm, 1.30am, 4.30am and frequently won't settle for 1-2 hours after some of the wakings. Tried Gina Ford, tried expressing a bottle, formula bottle, re-settling without feeding. IMO they just do as they please!! Good luck though. Sympathies as a fellow sleep deprived desperado.

i used to wake my dd at 10:30/11pm for a feed. she was always very sleepy so i would change her nappy first to wake her and then feed her, it always made her sleep till 5am. she eventually dropped the 5am and woke only at 7am, i then dropped the 10:30 feed when she was about 5 months and she has slept through the night ever since, 7:30 - 7:30. Even now at nearly 14 months she is a great sleeper. I think personally its all about structuring the feeds during the day but every baby is different, u just have to work out what suits ur baby best. But i do think gina ford is a genius!

Thank you all for the advice. It's good to know I'm not the only one who can't easily drift off to sleep after night feeds. I will try the dreamfeed thing...

I used to go to bed at 8.30pm fo 2 hours before the 10.30pm feed. Keep going, and soon you'll find the night feeds drop off. I swear by the dream feed. DS2 dropped his dream feed (10.30pm last night) for the first time so I'm here with a glass of wine giving myself a well deserved pat on the back for all those broken nights.

The end is in sight. It ALWAYS is, and you'll be surprised how quickly it arrives.