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Behaviour/development

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sleep problem - how much crying is acceptable?

29 replies

Broucek · 23/09/2008 16:06

the full story: 4.5 mth DS who won't nap in his cot (only very ocassionally after he has been crying on and off for varying times) and only accepts being pushed in his pram to sleep - i.e. he uses motion as a prop to nap. He tends to need 3 naps a day, ideally each 1.5 hr long. This is easier in a pram as when he finishes his sleep cycle, and starts to moan I can push him back to sleep again. However I really want him to start napping in his cot now as our house isn't big enough to keep a pram inside and also I am worried that by keeping doing this I am perpetuing a bad habit. at night time, he tends to get v. tired before 6 PM (his last nap of the day is approximately 3-4.30 as he would hardly ever sleep after that) but I resist putting him down before 6.45 as he'd wake up even earlier than normal - 5-6 AM, after he's had a bath, massage and a feed by which point he falls asleep while BF. then I can either move him to his cot asleep (I know, I shouldn't do that!) or gently wake him up and put him down at which point he'll cry for up to 30 mins. He also doesn't sleep thru night and wants the breast even though i know that he's not hungry. Typically, I feed him at 10PM, 3AM and 5-6AM and which point he's still tired but won't sleep more. My dilema is this - I don't want to let him cry it out as I think that's cruel but equally feel he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own and the longer I'll leave it the harder it will be! If I stay with him until he falls asleep and pat him and sing to him, he still cries a lot and it upsets us both (and eventually falls asleep)but it seems like the only middle way I can think of. Is this as bad as letting him cry it out? I should add that if i pick him up (but don't nurse or push in pram) he doesn't get comforted by that. Please help, I am desperate! Any suggestions would be VERY welcome.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
calsworld · 24/09/2008 20:54

x-posted again - sorry!

barnsleybelle · 24/09/2008 21:03

calsworld, i discovered Tracey Hogg when i was pregnant with dd. I considered the shh/pat as i thought it sounded the perfect solution. The problem i encountered was how totally time consuming it was to stick at in those early days. My dh works overseas for 8-10 weeks at a time and i had ds to consider, who during dd's bedtime routine would sit downstairs patiently watching tv waiting for me!!

I do love tracey hogg though and used the EASY plan with great effect.

calsworld · 24/09/2008 21:14

BB! I always got stuck at the 'Y' part with the EASY plan...I lost my way and didn't MN at all when DS was little and so wished I had, I didn't really know what I was doing and often felt like it was all a bit of a blur - the book helped with some bits.

Mostly I just took the 'feed on demand' rule that the hospital gave re BFing then applied it to everything else! Fortunately, DS led me down a good path and has been one of Tracey's 'angel' babies...made my life VERY easy.

We did the sshhhh/pat when DS got to about 3.5 months, but more because he would just lay awake than to soothe him when crying, in an attempt to 'bore' him to sleep!

We also gave up because it was very time consuming, but by then DS had learnt to go to sleep anyway.

He's now 21 months and getting more challenging! The only time we have sleep issues is when he's poorly, and then we co-sleep in our king size bed - not everyone's cup of tea but it suits us really well.

barnsleybelle · 24/09/2008 21:22

That's the thing, i agree, do what suits. If it doesn't feel right for you then don't do it.

I did find the Y part difficult too... not sure washing and ironing is you really!!!

DD is now 12 months and is an "angel" too. I have really been blessed with her. My brother and his wife have a new baby who is half grumpy and half spirited!! oh dear... We are definately lucky you and i.

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