I want to go back to work.
I want to get fit.
I want to be able to take a shower without listening to the full pitch screams of a dynamic baby in "playpen resistance mode".
I want to enlist his wonderful childminder 3 days a week instead of 1. (He's with grandad 1 day a week too).
That would mean he's in childcare (which he seems to love) 4 days a week. Is it too much?
I feel like I have to get out of the house and have my own life.
I used to have a thriving business of my own, in the fitness industry. I happily let it go to concentrate on my surprise pregnancy and motherhood. Now I'm fat,tired and lacking horizons and watch my partner go out the door to his work, colleagues, a life of perspective. I want mine back.
Things are out of balance. My partner earns the money and I feel disempowered if I spend it on a haircut. I'm just so used to using my own cash. Feels really awful.
I woke up this morning after the customary very broken sleep (he's never slept more than 5 hours straight since birth, we have tried everything, absolutely every book, every craniosacral whatever).
He's 8.5 months and very very active and i just feel I can't do it anymore, full time like this.
Am I supposed to be able to?
Am I wrong to want my life back? 4 days a week? Will it be harmful to him to not be with mummy ?
Mums please share your experiences. this is only going downhill. can't stop total emotional state.
Have hit the wall.