Quick answers please: How do I handle this? DS1(6yo) has just kicked DS2(21m) in the mouth, and believe it or not, this is the first time he has ever done anything on purpose to hurt him....

[NatalieJaneIsPregnantAgain]

DS1 is a very gentle kind loving boy, will always be the first for a cuddle etc. he puts up with a lot from DS2, he is at the hitting stage and quite often they bump heads etc. accidently obviously but in DS1's eyes, DS2 has hurt him.

DS2 was trying to grab something DS1 had, I don't think he actually meant to kick him as much as push him away with his foot but none the less he did kick him. Have sent DS1 to his room, do I come down hard or go in gently?

Hard. Definetly hard. His little brother's only a baby. He's alot older.

was he upset about hurting him? remorseful?

I asked DS1 if he kicked him, no answer, sent him to his room, calmed DS2 down, went to see DS1 told him I wanted answers, he said he did kick him but not hard and he was sorry.

Then i wouldn't go too hard on him, tell him he was very wrong and you are pleased that he knows that.

and obviously stress that you would not expect anything like that to ever happen again

He's had 10 minutes in his room, should I let him down then....

You'd think I'd know this wouldn't you?! LOL I am actually very shocked, I'd have sworn blind DS1 didn't have a cruel bone in his body.

Middle ground I think. Say you realise it's not nice to be hit by a little brother but that as he is so small he doesn't know it's wriong to hit and ds1 does so ds1 mustn't hit back. I wouldn't make too big a deal of it or it'll become a great attention seeking thing and he'll resent his brother.

I think you should let him down with a gentle reminder not to be too rough n future.

That's what I was worried about doing WWW, making it a big deal so it becomes an even bigger deal IYKWIM?

I'll let him down and tell him to apologise to DS2, I know DS2 won't 'get it', but still...

Thanks everyone

Agree you should let him down. Would also make the point that it would be better to tell teh truth straight away.

I think 10 mins is long enough and he prob needs a big cuddle now.

He's fine, well they both are, playing together again.

Phew!