6yo so so grumpy 24/7 for the last 6 years! Is he depressed?

[tigi]

Honestly he is so so grumpy, mardy, argumentative, obstinate, moany, and constantly bawling!

From he minute he wakes up he is crabby, to the arguments just before bed time. Everything is just hard work and hassle. he had a paddy at school because i put him fresh water in his drink bottle instead of stale! he shouted at me ! he moans about going to school, wearing shoes, that his tea isn't right, he wants chocolate, wants this, wants that...... Won't have a shower, wont clean his teeth, wont have his hair combed. Absolute nightmare. Argues and shouts at his brothers (older) . kicks them. Cries easily. he is just horrid.
Everywhere we go we have children saying 'your son hit me.!

My older two are sweetness and light.

Is it 'just him' or really could he be depressed? I really don't believe a 6 yo should be like this. He has been like it since he was born!

I am now worrying that he is getting set in his ways and really will rule the house, and get more agressive.

Any thoughts please? thanks

Well this is absolutely the most dramatic end of the spectrum and won't apply to your ds at all really BUT, as someone with a child who is mood swingy, I found this article scientifically interesting.

Bear in mind this is AMerica, which is a more "medicalizing" culture.

www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/magazine/14bipolar-t.html?_r=1&ref=magazine&oref=slogin

Hopefully the NY Times won't make you log in or register, but anyway if they do, at least it's free, and this article may be worth it. It's the front page feature story in the New York Times Sunday magazine.

hmmmmmm yes it was. But he is allergic to soya - makes his face swell- well it did the one and only time he had it two years ago - had to rush to hospital. i will have a look in tesco to see if there is anything else i can try.
I will try toast tomorrow......

really! That is strange. i am definatly going to have a look for those milks, i guess they are all together with the milk section, chilled, not a carton like uht.
I've been told that it's very strange to be allergic to soya.

Reading this reminds me how grummpy dd1 is, she has been a nightmare from birth, she also has mild aspergers which does'nt help her grumpyness. She spends most of the day moaning, she has just started school and when i pick her up at lunch time she is a nightmare, i have started taking a fun size mars bar with me as sugar seems to help (and stops her moaning whilst we walk home). She is used to eating little and often at home so she strugles at school (3 hours with out food).

Of course it's worth a try, I can't keep tiptoeing around him like this.

tigi perhaps worth trying goats milk too as many kids who cant tolerate cows dairy are ok with goats. You can also get nice goats butter, youghurt and cheese which makes life easier if you need to swtich.
Also worth trying to give him some more protein at breakfast, eg toast with cheese/baked beans or porridge (anything with oats) is also good.
Also if your DS is grumpy about his lunch etc have you tried just ignoring him? My DS1 complains about things like the way I make up his juice (heavily diluted) but I just say sth along the lines of never mind darling and leave it at that, I dont get drawn in.

I did ignore him! Walked off from him in the corridor to sort out his brother! Left him yelling to himself! Will soon see how hungry he was, if he ate it!

Good point Hoochie though am not sure that full on dairy withdrawal will be easy for tigi plus DS to do alone.
tigi have you thought about seeing a good nutritionist? He/she could help you work out if the problems are food related (might mean keeping a food diary and removing likley allergens and then slowly re-introuducing them) but I think you might be it really helpful to have some RL guidance/support and for that person to meet and have a look at your DS, we are all just guessing really based on what you have told us...

tigi - i feel your pain - i have a 7 yr-old who has dominated our family life from the beginning with her volatility and negativity and bad moods - always at her very, dramatically, tantrum-y worst first thing in the mornings and we absolutely HAVE to make sure she eats breakfast first thing before doing anything else at all (if i had a syringe to inject some sci-fi liquid breakfast substitute into her arm/thigh/skinny little buttock right on awakening i would do it!!). i have to carry snacks to shovel down her as soon as i pick her up from school or life is hell. i used to have all the attitude thing on picking her up too - better now she is getting older thankfully. she is also a right milk-a-holic so i am really intrigued by all the hoochiemomma advice - will think about making some changes. hoochie - i am a gp and agree with you that our profession knows bog-all on the nutrition front!! we are given paltry training on it and it isn't really emphasised in day-to-day practice, updates etc - shame. thanks girls, v relevant postings to our family life!

ps expatkat - that was a s-c-a-r-y but fascinating article in the ny times. i am going to sit in with a child psychiatrist next week who looks after lots of these kids so i will grill him on this stuff and report back on anything intriguing! i have been surprised to hear of kids over here being diagnosed now and again with bipolar, but had no idea it was gaining such ground as a diagnosis in the states - so hard to know where the truth lies, ie what is just medical fashion and what is reality. thanks anyway.

final snippet - have you ever read that book 'raising your spirited child' by mary sheedy kurcinka? only childcare manual i have ever found of any help for my, er, 'challenging' (love that euphemism...'spirited' being another one, of course!) daughter. very useful on negativity and moods in general. also makes you feel less alone and generally hopeless as a parent. though like some of you i have another child who is quite different (much more mellow and easy-going and just...happy) which has made me truly believe that temperament really does seem to be innate, to a great extent! how i've longed to confer some of that simple easy-going happiness on child number one!

Hi, sorry been busy with work, and not able to log on! This info is great!
Well, he didn't eat his macaroni! had a paddy later when he came home from school because he wanted a pot noodle - no as it was other ds birthday and we were going to pixxa hut! Despite me telling him no he did pull the lid off it, screamed and ran away 'don't care leave me alone'
Actually though after he had eaten (pizza and pasta) he was quite happy. So i do think eating little and often will help.
I have docs appt next wed (as i said on other page) to sort out his asthma (is it or isn't it) and i am going to make myself notes to take - blood sugar.dairy/milk, anaemic (nurse suggested that could be causing breathlessness, not asthma), allegy - blimey he sounds like a walking health encyclopedia!