Parents of demon children (aka Flameboy) - PLEASE tell me how you cope/how it was fixed/if it passed?!?!?!

[Flamesparrow]

He is 2.7.

He is hell.

The most loving little guy you could ever hope to meet, very friendly and inquisitive.

But... he climbs, he empties bottles, he breaks stuff "investigates" how things work.

I have tried pretty much every kind of parenting method (for proper periods of time so it has a chance to work) - I have done distraction, holding him when he is naughty, naughty steps, positive reinforcement, yelling (not my finest one I will admit). Nothing works. He might get a bit miffed for a min, but then just does it again later. I know he is young, but he is old enough to "get" cause and effect ie. you pour out shampoo/unclip mid car journey = mummy gets angry/holds you still for 2 mins etc

I cannot afford to do toddler groups every day, he is best off out of the house, but I don't have it in me to stride through woods all day every day.

I want another child at some point, but how the hell can I even think about it when I can't turn my back on this one for more than 2 mins???

Please reassure me that things can & will improve.

Please only reply if you actually have experienced a child like this - if yours stopped fiddling with bottles/climbing shelves etc with the first method you tried, it is not because of your fabulous parenting (sorry to burst that bubble) it is because you got the right kind of ^child.

ds can find a screwdriver any where he is. It astonishes me. No matter how well we hide them he always manages to find one and then uses it to take his toys apart. On the plus side he has very good fine motor control. I once found him with a saw, hammer and nails looking for something to build/mend (I think my heart stopped). We still can't work out how he got to them.

I always keep a drawer full of junk, some safety scissors, sellotape and stickers. He has free access to it and adores that. No glue though - glue is a BAD THING (so we learnt).

Would second the lego - proper stuff.

He is obsessed with knives (we have to hide all kitchen knives).

I would love to be able to give mine free access to scissors. Even safety scissors cut hair in the hands of a determined small person.

I find masking tape great for creations.

But can someone please tell me why dd1 feels the need to tie so many things to other things with v complicated knots?

Ds1 took my nail clippers outside this summer, and snipped my washing line into tiny pieces "Like eye lashes, mummy" to practice tying Knots. Oh, the never ending strings of Knots. Knots in my belts, Knots in the sleeves of clothes, Knots in the string of the bothroom light switch.

scissors fine here (helps that he is an only child) but have to be very careful of knives/tools and no liquids of any kinds (e.g. bottles of stuff/water/paint/liquid soap) or glue. Or cleaning stuff (including mops/hoovers/wet wipes etc). Have to be careful around electrical equipment as well (e.g. computers, printers, dvd players and the such like) though now older he can work them properly so not so much of a problem.

He had a thing for bins when he was younger (about 9 months - 2 years) which meant all our bins were kept on top of cupboards. Looked weird - we tended to forget it was odd till people came round and commented).

I refuse to teach ds how to tie knots for now - I know I will live to regret it.

Oh Colditz that sounds so familiar.

We have dressing gown cords (or any other vaguely string like object)used to tie various bits of furniture to the rocking horse neatly creating an assault course for me.

I don't even mind the knots it is the chain of furniture she creates!

I got a whole load of ribbons from ebay for about £6 various lengths and widths, kept the two of them going for 3 hours from thr point the package was ripped open.

I now bring them out as a treat!

I bought some art straws, which they enjoyed.

Yep bins on top of cupboards here too.

Seriously though folks is this considered extreme? I really thought it was just how kids are.

I think it's one end of the spectrum of normal with the kids who sit down quitely while not getting up to stuff at the other end.

We were quite shocked when ds went to preschool and they were very impressed at the things he could do as we thought they all could - especially as he was reasonably far behind in other areas.

hmmm. Thanks Armadillo. It does explain why my house is a tip compared to my chums kids though .

As a side issue I am looking to get dd1 doing some sewing. I was going to start her off on that stuff that is kind of plasticy with wholes like stiff hessian.

Anyone any idea what it is called?

I have one of those too - into everything, plus superb climber, investigator, trasher and best of all, he is a runner. I am the mum who twice a day on the school run is seen running after her rapidly disappearing child, who runs fastest when being chased...

He is just over three, I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it has been a very long, dark tunnel. He is the child your friends say is loveable, but you know they really hope he won't come round with you. Nothing is safe...

He learned about stair gates before he was two, is always raiding the fridge/freezer/food cupboards, climbs bookshelves, kicks doors in if closed, and breaks handles by hanging off them. He empties toys rather than plays with them and just loves to fiddle, and then opps! something is broken. He has broken things from our car, bits of the floor, a laptop - so many things I have lost count!

I have found, frequent exercise, food stops and sleep help. He is improving with age (he is by no means 'normal', nor like my other two children), but I am no longer despairing of his behaviour. However, I dread those stormy days like we had last week. Being in the house all day was too hard.

Not sure what I can offer you other than empathy and the possibility that he will calm down a bit, although calm may never be a word that suits!

Sit tight, deep breaths, lots of walking and trips to the park I reckon!

Locks on fridges or cupboards never worked for us - he broke them off when he turned one year old.

To get to the matches, he has to climb on a chair then climb onto the work surface and then sort of hang on to the top off the cupboard to feel around

the ones that really make me laugh are those socket protectors. Ds just took them off. They didn't even slow him down.

The cupboard things took ages for dp to fix on - with plenty of swearing etc. Didn't take ds any longer to open the cupboards so don't really know why we (well I say we, I mean dp) bothered.

Ah, we DID find an answer to plugs - it is a big, lockable box that fits over the whole double socket. The key is on the side and very stiff, and because we put furniture right next to the socket he loved to fiddle with (the TV one, of course!), he couldn't actually get to the key. He had a go at the box, but it has smooth edges, so nothing he could lever it off with. I think one section screwed to the wall an the other clipped in internally.

I think it was the only house-proofing thing we tried that worked! I will post if I can remember what it was called

Oh, and my ds is very loveable and loving. He has a mighty temper though, and full on either good or bad!

that sounds good - we caught him trying to unscrew a socket the other day (heart stopping moment).

Coolyourjets- It's called plastic canvas most good craft places should sell it.

I have read with interest and am relieved that my DS is not the only child to behave like this. Why though is he golden for other people and only like this at home? Although he did attack MIL's wall paper the other day.

Cheers mummyhill!

This thread is so reassuring

DS loves playing with Psychoboy2's magnetix - lego he tends to just scatter in painful patterns

DS1 was not quite as "bad" as all this, but getting there and this thread rings bells with me!

He is 5 now. School wears him out nicely thank you. He is also very very good at DIY - if you or your DH can teach Flameboy DIY, it will appeal to him no end, and be useful in years to come.