Normal teasing behaviour? Am I wrong to feel gutted?

[LynetteScavo]

I had to get out of the shower this morning to sort out the mayhem of DS1 (9) chasing DS2 and DD (who has a fear of spiders) with a dead spider? And abviously finding thier fear funny.

I feel gutted that he could be so mean, and gave him a talking to, but as he's been suspected Aspergers (not diagnosed) I feel I should be pleased he can register their distrress.

Just normal 9yo behaviour to be this horrid?

To be honest, it doesn't sound that unusual for a 9-year old boy to me. I clearly remember the 9 and 10-year old boys at my primary school chasing after the girls to put dead daddy longlegs down the backs of their shirts.

My brother (NT) put woodlice down my bed when he was 9. As they crawled up to the top, me screaming in terror, he would pretend to catch them for me but in fact put them back in the end of the bed so the same ones would crawl up again and again. Completely sadistic and cruel, but quite normal for a 9 year old. I think you might be reading too much into it, but the stern telling-off was warranted.

Totally normal ime (non AS kids). This is what other children did to me, what my 8yo does to his siblings given the opportunity, etc. It gets worse, all the way until early teen years.

Blimey kids can be horrid! I've calmed down now, so I shall go with being pleased he could tell they were scared.