I know logically that ignoring bad behaviour and praising good would work, but you'd have to be a bloody saint to be able to do it...

deaconblue · 2008-09-02T12:43:41+00:00

I think I am the wrong personality for motherhood. Ds drives me insane at all times except when he's asleep and then he's adorable

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

flack · 02/09/2008 13:44

lol, me too, shopbags.

JuneBugJen · 02/09/2008 13:46

ditto.

Bored bored bored with praising over finally getting shoes on after the 10th request. sometimes I want to scream 'GET THE BASTARD SHOES ON RIGHT NOW OR BARBIE IS GOING TO FRY!!!)

But instead I fanny about with sticker charts.

FluffyMummy123 · 02/09/2008 13:46

Message withdrawn

Tommy · 02/09/2008 13:47

it is not practically possible to always ignore bad behaviour - especially if it involves one of them whacking another one.

That book "How to talk so your kids will listen..." offers some pretty good tips but I know exactly how you feel

FluffyMummy123 · 02/09/2008 13:47

Message withdrawn

Original poster

deaconblue · 02/09/2008 13:49

my mum reckons I should scream more often. We grew up with mostly calm and nice mother, occasionally screeching and losing it mother and once in a while chasing you upstairs whacking you on the back of the legs mother. I turned out ok [hides asbo under the bed and hopes no-one notices it]

OP posts:

Original poster

deaconblue · 02/09/2008 13:52

plus really hard to do the praising when suggestions such as "shall we do a puzzle together" are met with "NO" shouted really loud.
Maybe I should try "well done ds you say no so beautifully"!!!

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mloo · 02/09/2008 17:58

DS2 screams and throws things, around the 50th time he has screeched "But I'm allowed to do that!" bout something he emphatically may not do, I lose it (especially with chairs and toys all over the floor by this time). Then I physically remove him to the stairs until he calms down (this can take another 20-30 minutes) and accepts that things have to happen the way I said, after all. (sigh).

I sure can't "Just ignore it"!

deanychip · 02/09/2008 18:00

oh dear god Junebug you have made laugh so loud at the bastard shoes, that is fantastic!

PinkTulips · 02/09/2008 18:07

i challange any of them o beat dd in the trying mommy's effing patience stakes.

have just had the summer of hell with her and ds (mostly her)

sticker charts don't work, rewards don't work, smiling sweetly and ignoring don't work, screaming blue murder occasionally works (rarely)

she's just had her first human day for 3 months and dp and i are walking on eggshells sround her not to set her off

ajm200 · 02/09/2008 18:14

I know what you mean. I often feel like I should be working in an american burger bar.. smiling sweeting and saying nice insincere things while silently swearing and wanting to manhandle DS to get him to behave.

My mum thinks I'm mad and all DS needs is a few smacks so no support there..

I was very hormonal at the weekend (pregnant 3rd trimester) so I lost the plot and burst into tears in front of my toddler because he was just being a little devil. I felt like such a bad mum.. especially when he gave me a big hug and told me 'mama ok, mama alright, luv luv.'

Why does modern parenting seem to come with so much guilt that starts with the positive pregnancy test and never go..

JuneBugJen · 02/09/2008 18:19

Ta Deany...I'm just repeating things exactly as I think them!

Love the burger bar comment ajm. You are right, everything has to have that insane forced jollity to it. Perhaps I shall invest in a pair of button covered, red and white striped braces.

jadefox · 02/09/2008 20:52

I really think I am going crazy with ds - any simple request is met with shreiking and kicking of legs (is a bath that bad?)

I wish i had time to do all the stuff we're meant to but when its 10 past 8 in the morning and i need to leave at 8 - AAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NumberFour · 02/09/2008 21:00

Surely kids should also learn who is in charge and who makes decisions and that do as I say means just that! Having said that, I also find myself trying to be kind and nice and reasonable, only to fly off the handle when for the umpteenth time cars are chucked across our (small) lounge. When I do raise my voice (shock horror) things get done - or not done in the case of throwing cars.

Shoppingbags, your comment re saying NO so beautifully had me in stiches!

I think it was in the show "Mum's the Word" where one of the characters says that she starts the day as Mary Poppins and ends it as Cruella de Ville.

NumberFour · 02/09/2008 21:00

Surely kids should also learn who is in charge and who makes decisions and that do as I say means just that! Having said that, I also find myself trying to be kind and nice and reasonable, only to fly off the handle when for the umpteenth time cars are chucked across our (small) lounge. When I do raise my voice (shock horror) things get done - or not done in the case of throwing cars.

Shoppingbags, your comment re saying NO so beautifully had me in stiches!

I think it was in the show "Mum's the Word" where one of the characters says that she starts the day as Mary Poppins and ends it as Cruella de Ville.

NumberFour · 02/09/2008 21:02

oops...................

Original poster

deaconblue · 02/09/2008 21:18

That's me, I am Mary Poppins in the morning and Cruella de Vil by bedtime too, what a good analogy.
ajm I did exactly the same as you when I was heavily pg with dd and ds kicked me while I tried to change his nappy, then threw his sopping wet sponge out of the bath at me. I screamed at him, cried and he said "don't worry mummy, all better now" and I couldn't be angry anymore.

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ajm200 · 03/09/2008 09:39

I've mastered a great mummy stare/glare. It often works with my toddler but other times he just collapses in fits of giggles.

A few weeks ago, we were in a posh hotel in Brighton, some young lads had finished their fizzy drinks and dumped the cans on a table.
I was cold and wet (typical british seaside visit), unintentionally gave them my mummy stare and they picked up the cans and gave them to a member of staff to get rid of...

Wouldn't it be great if it was always that easy?

banglesandbeads · 03/09/2008 10:18

DS who is 7 made me laugh yesterday.

I kept asking him to get dressed in a calm manner and then lost it after about the 15th time and shouted

"get dressed now"

His reply

"You are the rudest girl I have ever met"

Made me smile as I have'nt been called a girl for a long time .

oneplusone · 03/09/2008 16:03

Great thread, am LOL! I am finding my patience wearing very thin now it's nearly the end of the holidays. Just one more day and then DD is back at school, but i think the last day might just be the end of me. It's DD INCESSCENT talking, questions and pestering(sp?) that drive me MAD. I constantly bribe/threaten loss of treats/going out to try and get even 5 minutes of peace but it doesn't work. She seems to have a memory like a sieve, the bribe will work for about 2 seconds then she forgets and starts pestering/whining/whinging again.

oneplusone · 03/09/2008 16:07

I bumped into another mum whilst out today and said i was so glad the kids were back at achool on Friday. She said she would be sad when they go back and I told her she was mad and walked off!

I used to feel bad when i met mums who seemed to enjoy the summer hols but now i honestly think there is something wrong with them and i am the only one who is sane!