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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

DS2 (age 6) STILL can't swim, and it's becoming a problem

46 replies

gameboy · 31/08/2008 21:39

He was 6 in August, and despite having had weekly swimming lessons since he was 4, he still can't swim more than 2 -3 metres.

He loves the water.
Is happy to go to the pool.
Fine with a swim jacket or armbands on.
Without, he clings to DH or I, and refuses to practice with us at all.

We've changed his lessons because we thought that may be the problem, and he enjoys them, but he hasn't really progressed at all this year .

It's beginning to upset him a bit as there are more and more swimming parties etc, and he is now visibly the non-swimmer among his peers.

Next school year he will do swimming at school, and it will be awful if he doesn't catch up a bit with his peers before then.

I'm really at my wits end. DS1 could swim 50 metres at the same age, with exactly the same number of lessons etc.

I'm not really sure whether he's just not 'got it' yet, or is lazy, or what??

What can I do? Anyone else manage to jump-start the swimming?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tortoiseshell · 31/08/2008 22:49

The swimming parties ds1 and dd have been to have been in the small pools though, so being out of your depth just wasn't an issue! With ratios for supervision, I'd be suprised if it was possible to have a party for a

Fennel · 01/09/2008 09:23

My just 7yo dd2 can barely swim despite going regularly since 4m old, and having lots of lessons. She's not short on body fat, quite solidly built, and she's big and strong for her age and does most things young (rode a bike at 3). But she hasn't got the hang of swimming. My 8yo is OK but not fantastic considering that she also had weekly lessons from a young age. Some children, it seems, just aren't natural swimmers.

When they were babies I said that the ONLY thing we wanted them to do young was swim (cos we do lots of watersports) but in the end, the children who never went swimming as toddlers and started lessons at 6 are far better than my children who went from babyhood.

(however mine are ace cyclists and scooters and skaters but that's another thread)

DrNortherner · 01/09/2008 09:25

Who says kids should be good swimmers at aged 6?

I certainly wasn't.

Fennel · 01/09/2008 09:25

Oh Tortoishell, we went to a 5yo birthday party in a big pool, it featured one of those large run and jump and slide inflatables. All the 5yos raced excitedly along it and disappeared headlong into the deep end of the pool, to their shock. And the parents all had to rush into the pool and fish them out. not all pool parties are totally age-appropriate, we found out then.

noddyholder · 01/09/2008 09:26

My ds is dyspraxic and swimming was a HUGE challenge Only now at 14 can he be in the pool alone without us and has got more confident.He'll never be great at it but at least can do a length now.

TheFallenMadonna · 01/09/2008 09:27

Weekly swimming lessons were no use at all really for ds. What did the trick was a 'crash course' of a week at the beginning of the holiday, followed by two weeks of swimming every day on holiday with us, followed by another week of daily lessons. Worked out cheaper than one term of weekly lessons (apart from the holiday of course ) and he has gone from non-swimmer to 25 + metres front and back.

snorkle · 01/09/2008 09:55

gameboy, it's an unfortunate situation - being just 6 and the only non-swimmer in his peers is a little unusual imo. But if he's motivated to learn I see no reason why he shouldn't. I think the key thing is to take him often and spend some time each session without swim aids. You say he clings and won't practice - could you perhaps bribe him with letting him have his aids only after he's done a little practise with you? Or is there a shallower pool (maybe with a beach area) where he could be comfortable without aids in very shallow water?

Does he spend time in swim lessons without aids and if so how does he get on then? (If not, change lessons).

How is he with putting his face in and getting his head underwater - from what you've said it sounds as though this may be an issue - if so, goggles may help as well as lots of head going under practice.

A last suggestion: is there a weeks intensive course of lessons he could do (maybe at half term)? For some children going every day really does help jump-start things.

tortoiseshell · 01/09/2008 09:56

fennel! That sounds lunatic! Ds1 has been to loads of swimming parties, dd to a couple, and they've all been in the small pool, so none of the children went out of their depth! Which is a lot more fun for the kids and more relaxing for the parents.

I think swimming really is one of those things that doesn't 'develop', it just suddenly clicks. So it can feel like the child is making no progress, and suddenly they can swim.

Ds1 was certainly like that - he started one session unable to swim, and then just 'got it' and swam 5m.

Last week I took dd and ds2 - dd is doing a passable doggy paddle (she is 5, but doesn't have lessons - I have been 'teaching' her). I suggested she might try on her back, which was met with 'nonononono' but later on she did have a go. Half an hour later she was swimming perfectly on her back, not sinking AT ALL, going really fast and 3/4 hour later was doing back crawl. But only a week previously I had been thinking 'I have no idea how to get her to swim on her back, she's never going to do it.'

So it really is a 'click' thing - like riding a bike I guess.

Vulgar · 01/09/2008 10:28

This is music to my ears.

Ds (9) had been teased about being a crap swimmer at school.

Interestingly he has zero body fat and can't float at all. I really noticed how much thinner he was from the normal slender children in his class at the school swimming gala . .actually now I think of it, the 3 other children who struggled with swimming are like sticks too!

He is not frightened of water at all and can push off from the side and put his face underwater but once he has to breathe, he just flails about like he is drowning. The swimming lessons at school haven't helped at all apart from making him more confident.

rubyloopy · 01/09/2008 10:34

Message withdrawn

Original poster

gameboy · 01/09/2008 14:15

Thanks everyone, it's good to hear he's not alone anyway. Clearly he has too many friends with swimming pools or soemthing and they are all little fishes....

Fennel - that is EXACTLY the sort of party I'm talking about too! We went to one on Saturday (admittedly for an older child - a friend of DS1's) but the giant inflatable slide ended up in the deep end, so DH had to keep going to 'catch' DS2.

He had a great time though... (DS2, that is, not DH...)

OP posts:

Wickedwedgiewoman · 01/09/2008 14:24

very interesting thread. my dss are 6 & 8, have no fear of water, love going to the pool but are having real problems learning to swim. NEVER thought it could be anything to do with their size, but after all the comments on here think that maybe be a big part of it; they are both very slim.

They're active and excell in the other sports they do. Been good to read there's others in the same boat..or rather pool

MrsWeasley · 01/09/2008 14:27

We stopped swimming lessons for my DS because he couldnt get passed a certain point (to go on a level he needed to put his head under the water and he couldn't/wouldn't do it, he hates water near his face).

He was about 8, his younger sister has gone passed him and was in the next group and moving onto the next one even.

He swam 10metres but to be honest it was more doggy paddle than anything else the instructor wasnt watching too closely!

He is now 11 and this year on holiday he started putting his face under water (thanks to some nice new goggles) and his swimming has come on so much. We went swimming nearly every day!

He is also very thin and he can't float on the water but DD can (she isnt big just not as thin as DS!)

Gobbledigook · 01/09/2008 14:40

I would not be stressed about this in the slightest. 6 is still very young.

ThatBigGermanPrison · 01/09/2008 14:49

Body fat does make a difference. I can swim very easily for about half a mile, despite being unfit and 2 stone overweight. My very athletic gym bunny friend can't keep up (she's a whippet)

frankie3 · 01/09/2008 14:59

My DS1 has only just started to swim unaided aged 7. He is really thin, and it never crossed my mind that this could have contributed - that's really interesting. He was almost swimming, and then he did a weeks intensive course and started to swim. So this could be an idea, or have a few private lessons. I find it really unusual that your DS has been invited to so many swimming parties. My DS has never been invited to a swimming party, and I would have thought that although most 6-7 year olds can swim, they would not all be strong and confident enough swimmers to be at a swimming party.

My DS now loves swimming and loves messing around doing doggy paddle and backstroke. So don't worry about it - it will come.

snorkle · 01/09/2008 15:02

Slimness, especially in boys, does make a difference. Also some ethnic groups (notably, black african descendents) have heavier bones and more dense bodies & so don't float so well. If you have a group of children and get them to do 'mushroom floats', most will float with some of the top of their back up above the water, but for some the top of the back will be up to a foot below the surface. These children do have to work harder to swim and it is more important for them to have as more of their head in the water to get going.

Gobbledigook · 01/09/2008 15:45

Does it?! Blimey - ds1 is like a piece of string and did his 50m when he was just 5. He's like a fish.

I always thought it might be other way round - I thought perhaps if a child was skinnier they wouldn't have the strength to do the strokes?

Gobbledigook · 01/09/2008 15:47

But still, I would not get stressed about a 6 year old that was not swimming.

Ds2 is just coming up to 6 - he can swim and has also done his 50m but he still refused to swim without armbands on while we were on holiday - I just let him do what he was comfortable with - it will come with time.

prettybird · 01/09/2008 16:07

Haven't read the whole tihng, but when ds was at the "in between" stage (could swim a couple fo metres but not really confident enough to go with arm bands/some sort of flotatationaid) we had great success with a "banana" (they are sometimes called "noodles"): a long float thing that they can wrap arund themselves or hold at arms length or even site on like a sea horse. As an adult, you can pull them around while they are sitting on it - and just generally have fun.

We took one on holiday with us and ds would quite happily jump into the pool holding on to one of these (and no arm bands) and by the end of the holiday was swimming confidently without one (at least, swimming as far as he could breathe with his head under water - learning to lift his head out of the water to breat was a later "lesson" he had to learn! )

snorkle · 01/09/2008 16:56

It's by no means an absolute rule gobbledigook. Like with August borns underperforming at school there's lots of exceptions - but my experience (and I think there's statistical data too - certainly we were told it was true at swim teacher training) is that children who struggle to start swimming (without other contributary factors, like water phobia/learning difficulties) are usually lean types. I also have a hunch that once they have 'got it' leanness can be an advantage: ie the good 10-12 year old competitive swimmers also tend to be lean types - perhaps having less mass to accelerate and pull through the water is an advantage once you can actually swim.

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