relationships

[vixma]

I am getting grief from my sons school for him not remembering his stuff. When I try to support him or punish my son (which is very rare as he a lovely boy), my partner will not support me.....great father will emphasise, but I end up feeling cruel and having to explain what and why am doing what I do. I will not lie, I will carry out punishments which will include him having 5 mins out of the car because he has taken off his seatbelt when driving.... that is dangerous, or sit in the garden for 30 mins for not lisrening and arguing....where I can see he is safe. My partner doesnt like this and it turns into an argument because he will not come up with an alternative and i have to do this alone as well as put up with the greif when my son is at school. Athough to hell with it as I lso givemy son rewards when he is his awesome self, I know I am no angle, but to put it bluntly, he is doing m head in and I feel bad most the time as I am setting the law down, and although I am feling bad cos it's not enjoyable, my partner makes me feel even worst....grrrrr, getting to long.

how old is DS?

12

Has your DS got a timetable pinned up somewhere so you all know what's coming and what he'll need?

If your partner won't support you in giving a consequence, I'd say HE needs to be the one who has the responsibility for checking with DS what he will need the next day, and helping DS to get everything ready

Don't feel bad at having to carry out punishments. It would be far worse if you were to threaten and then not carry it out because your ds would not learn that actions have consequences. My ds is almost 12 and at times I am the 'worst parent in the world' for punishing him but that is part and parcel of being a parent which your partner needs to understand. Does he have a problem with discipline because of the way he was brought up?

He, does have a school timetable on the wall and also on my phone....when back at his school on his phone. He does tell him what he needs to sort forthe next day....my sondoes not listen.... I have to ask my son, then get angry...my son does it....I get greif, partners lovely, however soft and I tell son off, end up being blunt (but not rude). I now this sounds rediculous, but it has become unbearable to live at home becuse of the arguments....I fee unhappy, and I now my partner is also.

who tells your son? Sorry, your message is not too clear.

Sorry, origionally wrote it too long, so shortenened it. Understanding the confusion. My partner, when we discuss my son, when he misbehaves (which is rare),it turns into arguments because my patner does not back me up. Sounds daft when looking at others probs....but he does not support me and tells me I am wrong in the way I punish my son...I am quicker tempered then he is. He gets the hump for at least a day. However this is a prb as do this away from my son ( so clam down quick) no excuse.